Dear whoever is in charge of my spam filter,

You're letting in e-mail with things like f**k in the title but reservation confirmations from hotel and car services you hold back. Please reverse the situation as I need the confirmaitons sooner than three days later.

Sincerely,
Frustrated Admin

What ya using? I've resolved some similar issue with the corporate version of Norton Anti-Spam and might be able to help.....

Dear Work,

I have homework to do. If you would kindly back off and let me do said homework I would really appreciate it.

Thank you

Mailfrontier. It's installed at the server level I can't make any modifications other than to unjunk things. But I can take hours/days for the e-mail I need to appear in the junk e-mail thingie they send so I can unjunk it.

Dear: adjective, -er, -est, noun, adverb, interjection
–adjective1.beloved or loved: a dear friend.
2.(used in the salutation of a letter as an expression of affection or respect or as a conventional greeting): Dear Sir.
3.precious in one's regard; cherished: our dearest possessions.
4.heartfelt; earnest: one's dearest wish.
5.high-priced; expensive: The silk dress was too dear.
6.charging high prices: That shop is too dear for my budget.
7.excessive; high: a dear price to pay for one's independence.
8.Obsolete. difficult to get; scarce.
9.Obsolete. worthy; honorable.
–noun
10.a person who is good, kind, or generous: You're a dear to help me with the work.
11.a beloved one.
12.(sometimes initial capital letter) an affectionate or familiar term of address (sometimes offensive when used to a stranger, subordinate, etc.)
–adverb
13.dearly; fondly.
14.at a high price: That painting cost me dear.
–interjection
15.(used as an exclamation of surprise, distress, etc.): Oh dear, what a disappointment! Dear me! What's all that noise?

hmm..."dear" based on the above, doesnt seem to fit so...



ignorant lackwits,

stop spray painting my (effing) front wall! if you want your name on my front wall so (gosh darn) bad then get a job and buy my (effing) house! you know (durn) well and (effing) good I'll paint over it within an hour of finding your (steer manure), so pointless and futile are a couple of new words you'll want to have explained to you by a grownup!

sometimes you make me long for the barbaric days of a 12ga and a handful of rocksalt

go (poop) in your own yard (sphincter)


the management



wow...I feel better :D

Dear Management,

Please print this out and paste it to said wall. They will most likely paint over it, but perhaps they will think about it later, you never know!

On second thought, you have to have a brain to think.

Signed,

Never mind.

Dear school district,

I am thrilled that you are the only district in Bakersfield to use the myshcoollunch.com program. My only question is why I didn't get an email from you telling my that Nick's lunch id number was invalid. I don't need him to get free lunches, only for your stupid website to work properly. I used the Id he has had since kindergarten. This was the only Id I had for him. If it wasn't right you should have let me know, along with the correct Id to use.

I am not neglecting my financial responsibilities, I honestly thought I had already paid.

Signed,
Pissy Parent Patrol

Dear Pavarotti,

Thanks for the music

Sincerely,

The World

Dear RStar

Methinks that the only thing said posting would accomplish would be to fuel said morons into MORE annoying activity - there would be no thinking about it later.

Sad but true.

Love,
KB