Dear Clueless Employee,

When I come to your desk to find out why you haven’t turned in your August Statistics yet, don’t just sit there and tell me it’s because you just moved desks and can’t get in to the computer to print a report you need in order to complete your statistics. Get off your lazy, good for nothing ass and print the report from another computer!

Thank you.

Dear Stomach,

Lunch isn't for another hour. Kindly shut up.

Dear Sony,

Why must you make such a silly ipod interface. As much as I love the song Always by Bowling for Soup, hearing it each time I start the car because you automaticaly re-set to the first song in alphabetical order is kinda getting on my nerves. Finding the song I was listening to every time I start the car is getting a little bit old.

Always,
Me

Dear Maddy,

Where the heckily schmeck did you put the stereo remote? I can't find it anywhere in the car.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Mommy,

If you are going to ask me questions via LoT I think it's time I had my own iTouch, so I can access the LoT wherever I am.

Love,

Your favorite daughter

Dearest Daughter,

You have already stated your need for an iPhone but you did say you were "waiting for the prices do go down". And as I said then, when you get a job you can have whatever phone/iPod you'd like.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Mom,

Prices have gone down.

Dear Maddy,

Clean you room for once, empty the dishwasher and then we'll chat. And since that'll never happen, not really an issue.

Love,
Mommy

Dear KatieSue,

Can I take you up on that offer? :p

Dear GD:

I am going to start using "heckily schmeck" in normal conversation. Be prepared.

Much love,
Your Annoying Wife.