Dear Weight,

Would you please leave so I can look hot in a cute sweater and jeans?

Love,
Rena

Dear Excess Weight,
Please find another home, on anotehr body so that Rena and I may look hot in whatever the hell we choose to wear.
The cute sweater is a bonus. How about a tiny sundress?

With Love,
LibraryVixen and Ponine

Dear weight,

Love that vintage-style dress on you! I'll take you swimming this weekend.

Love,
LSPE

Dear shopping gods,
LSPE always has totally cute clothes, could you send some to San Diego and Manteca so that Rena and I may buy them?
Somehow her stores are better stocked.

Love , ME

Dear weight,

There will be more of you after Sunday's sausage-fest Rib Fest Football Spectacular. I look forward to meeting your friends.

Jason

Dear workplace,

See you saturday. If I dont get caught up soon, we could be seeing a lot of each other.

CJ

Dear CNN.com,

I don't know who you think you are impressing with the videos on your website. Placing an inventory of all 4:3 aspect ratio footage into a 16:9 widescreen player does not fool me into thinking that I'm watching your web clips on a plasma tv. What it does do is distort the features of your anchor so that an otherwise pretty girl appears grotesque and horribly distorted.

If you're going to run a widescreen player, film your clips in widescreen, otherwise, please get a normal player embedded on your site that does not distort the image. With no widescreen clips, your widescreen player is completely pointless.

~Me

Dear body,

Please stop hurting.

Thank you,

- Me

Dear Apple and/or Microsoft.

Wake up and fix the freaking Vista iTunes bugs.

Sincerely,
Half of America

Dear Brad,

I agree with you- just not for the same reasons.

Signed,
A Fed-Up Conservative