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Homer: "And if we have time, we'll address my drinking. But we won't have any time".
Comic Book Guy to Agnes Skinner: "Oh, excuse me Oldie Hawn" and one of my favorites.. Homer: "I promise to give up all rum-based drinks- except mojitos and rum & coke." |
Alcohol: The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems.
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I'm having a hard time not quoting the entirety of Treehouse of Horror V. And I'm not even much of a quoter. But you start with one line... and the next follows and it's a gem... and the next...
So. Some highlights. ... WILLY Boy...you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning. BART You mean "Shining." WILLY Shh! You want to get sued? Now look, boy. If your Dad goes gaga, you just use that...shin of yours to call me and I'll come a running. But don't be reading my mind between four and five. That's Willy's time! ... (Homer chops through a door) HOMER Heeeere's Johnny! (But nobody's there.) D'oh! (Homer chops through another door) HOMER Daaavid Letterman! ABE Hi David, I'm Grampa. HOMER D'oh! (Homer chops through a third door) HOMER I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on "60 Minutes!" FAMILY Aaaaah! ... HOMER Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. Urge to kill...fading...fading...fading -- rising! Fading... fading. Come, family. Sit in the snow with Daddy and let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow. TV Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards! FROZEN BART Homer...change channel! HOMER Can't! Frozen! Urge to kill...rising... ... HOMER As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch anything, I won't destroy the future. Stupid bug! You go squish now! ... MOE It's not so bad, Homer. They...go in through your nose and...they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out. Look! (to his brain, in the jar) Ooh! Hello! Hello there! Who's that big man there? Who's that? ... SKINNER Oh, relax, kids, I've got a gut feeling Uter is around here somewhere. After all, isn't there a little Uter in all of us? In fact, you might even say we just ate Uter and he's in our stomachs right now! Wait...scratch that one. |
I have this mug on my desk, with a picture of Homer raising a mug o' beer and exclaiming..
"To alchohol! The cause of- and solution to- all of life's problems" *Edited to add: D'oh! GD sorta beat me to it. |
Mmmm... unexplained bacon!
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Homer: "I love you, Pepsi."
Pepe: "Pepe." Homer: "Pepe." |
Before I leave my office for the day...
*Ralph Wiggum: "My cat's breath smells like cat food" "I bent my Wookie!" "Somebody took my juice money!" "You choo-choo-choose me?" |
Mmm... sacrelicious.
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Quote:
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LISA
Look! It's J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books! You've turned a generation of kids onto reading. ROWLING Thank you, young Muggle. LISA Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series? ROWLING (sighs) He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear? LISA (sighs) Yes. |
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