I suppose it depends how you want to view the sentance "get something out of it"

Because if you do it, someone else will be less stressed out,
or they will no longer be pissed at you for not 'putting out',
or Becuase they just want to?

esp the last one, what would I 'get out' of that?
I say nothing. You're there, they get thier rocks off, they leave you alone when they're done.
I think I am missing a piece of your thinking GD, please elaborate.

If you're playing reductionism, why not go all the way? "Because it's fun" simply means you get enjoyment out of it. "Because it is fun for someone else" means you get either the satisfaction of fulfilling someone else or perhaps you get peace and quiet (i.e. no nagging) out of it. Even if you do it "Because it's right", you get the satisfaction that you're doing something right.

Personally, I find that level of reductionism somewhat ridiculous, but don't particularly see how it's more ridiculous than collapsing 237 other slightly distinct reasons into just 2-4.

Everything we do is to affect the way we feel.

We don't do anything simply because it's "right," but rather because of the way doing what we consider "the right thing" makes us feel.

Same for everything else under the sun and moon. So Ghoulish Delight is completely correct ... everything can be reduced to that, once we start reductionism. Best not to start it at all, and deal with (in fact celebrate) the tiny differences that inform this world.

According to Freud, everything we do is because of sex.

Sorry, I still don't agree.

Correct, but that doesn't mean its all making us feel good.

I'm trying not to internalize this conversation, and its difficult, but please ISM, is there a more fleshed out form of the second statement?

I subscribe to the 'everyone is selfish, and that's not necessarily a bad thing' philosophy of life.

I have sex because I like to feel good.
I volunteer at homeless shelters because it makes me feel good.
I do my homework because I want to finish school, so I can get more later... and feel good.
I go to so-and-so's funeral because I would feel bad if I didn't - so therefore it makes me feel good, even when I'm feeling pain. The two emotions aren't mutually exclusive.

I don't think there's an unselfish thing I do in my day. Giving of yourself is selfish - and it's not a bad thing. I wish people would take that nasty connotation out of their minds and realize what a positive thing being selfish can be/ I is to realize that I do things, I help others because it helps me in some way, emotionally, physically and monetarily. Even when I'm being self-destructive, or someone is being destructive to me, I know that I stay because it fills an emotional component I believe I need at the moment (doesn't mean I actually require it, that it's right, or even that it's healthy...).

Transaction of emotion, might be a good - if not a bit cold - way to look at it.

So, maybe a way to connect it is even doing something like sex out of obligation is a way to feel good, if feeling good the opposite of feeling guilty, or the opposite of being haggled and good is the silence that comes when the nagging goes away.

I need to revisit the subject when I'm not so harried. I'm not even sure I'm making sense to myself.

Eros & Thanatos - Don't forget the motivating power of death

A word about the methodology:

I've taken psych classes - surveys are easier than experiments, psych students are the easiest to get (I'll do yours if you do mine), and sex is major subject on college students minds.

Also, the methods may be shoddy, but hey, they passed the class!