If the kitchen's in the house, and Diana's in the kitchen, what's in Diana?

WARNING: Use of racial slur ahead...


Why is the Chinese army known as the most vulnerable in the world?

This one sometimes takes people a few minutes. It is horribly tasteless and somewhat raunchy. I should probably just go ahead and apologize beforehand.

What do you call a mexican prostitute with no legs?



(hey, can I help it that all the jokes I seem to remember are tasteless?)

Huh? I don't get it. :)

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He sees from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the bank manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says.... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

An elderly couple is driving down the highway. The gentleman driving notices a state trooper is behind him with his lights on so he pulls over.

Trooper: How are you folks today?

Old woman: Whaatt?!

Old man: (loudly) He asked how we are doing today! You'll have to excuse my wife officer, she's a bit hard of hearing.

Trooper: Thats fine. I see from your liscence plates you folks are from Florida.

Old woman: Whhaat?!

Old man: (loudly) He says he sees we're from Florida!

Trooper: Had the worst piece of ass I've ever had in Florida.

Old woman: Whaatt?!

Old man: (loudly) He says he thinks he knows you!!

Rocket Rods

What do you call 10,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?




How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fair warning here. This is the grossest joke I know.



What is the definition of gross?

Waking up the morning after with a lump in your throat...

How are men like hard wood floors?