I think what we're doing here is healthy. To vent about them, to laugh at them, to discuss... Cause no matter what we do, they're still family.
Thank goodness for friends, eh?
I think the best thing to do with the ones that are toxic is to not buy into their game and be like them. Space is good.
:)

I think I would feel healthier still if I were able to chase them around with a claw hammer for awhile.

Yes, I think that's acceptable, too. :D

Nah, no sport in that where my brothers are concerned- they'd be dead before they even realised it was a claw hammer and not a bottle or pipe coming at them.

Yeah, that makes sense. I was wondering because you had mentioned that she called you. She must still have your contact info from before. I was just amazed that you could be civil to her after all that she'd pulled.

I know some people will say that family is family no matter what, but I'm not sure how I see that someone being related to me means they can torture me in ways that I don't allow total strangers to.

Words to live by.

I have an Aunt that is always trying to tell me that blood is thicker than water, she's your sister, blah blah blah. I simply say that my own well-being is worth more to me than having a relationship with an abusive and damaging person, no matter what the relationship is.

Hear hear. Or here here. (However it's spelled.) :)

The best part about my family is that they're mostly in Hawai'i. And Boston is about as far away as you can get from Hawai'i and still be in the US.
;)

The other thing I figure is - if I'm going to get the whole "they're family" speech, then why don't they treat me like I'm an important part of the family? Why is "we're family" only a one-way street?

I've gotten that speech from my mother about my oldest brother as well, and I pretty much just ignored it - she doesn't do that any more. My mother doesn't know about some of the stuff my brother pulled when I was younger, and I've seen my parents let him walk all over them, though I think he stopped doing that a while ago. If they want to do that, that's their right, and I also think it's partly a cultural thing on their part, but I don't care that much that he has supposedly changed - there are things that he has never and never will apologize to me for - so I see no reason for there to be a relationship with him. Part of the problem we had was that at some point, I decided I was tired of him telling me what to do, and I spoke up, and he really couldn't deal with that. Imagine that - me speaking up! ;)

My mom says the same thing about my uncle (he is her brother). It's not even a matter of being civil for the sake of seeing my cousins. They live in Canada (and they are adults who know they have an open invite to come stay with me any time they want).

I finally said if I was dating a guy who was treating me like he does you'd do everything in your power to get me away from him. Why do you feel this need to make me associate with him because he is blood? If you want to then fine, but don't get mad at me because I don't want to associate with a controlling manipulative man-child. And don't get mad when I get upset that you allow him to treat me how he does. Stand up for me.

I guess I can add my mom to the idiot relative list. But she's really not that bad. Most of the time.