"Wit is a lean creature with sharp inquiring nose, whereas humor has a kindly eye and a comfortable girth. Wit, if it be necessary, uses malice to score a point—like a cat it is quick to jump—but humor keeps the peace in an easy chair. Wit has a better voice in a solo, but humor comes into the chorus best. Wit is as sharp as a stroke of lightning, whereas humor is diffuse like sunlight. Wit keeps the season’s fashions and is precise in the phrases and judgments of the day, but humor is concerned with homely eternal things. Wit wears silk, but humor in homely-spun endures the wind. Wit sets a snare, whereas humor goes off whistling without a victim in its mind. Wit is sharper company at the table, but humor serves better in mischance and in the rain. When it tumbles wit is sour, but humor goes uncomplaining without its dinner. Humor laughs at another’s jest and holds its sides, while wit sits wrapped in study for a lively answer."

-Charles Brooks

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either.

Gore Vidal

Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love.

~Lao Tzu

If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.

-Mark Twain

Lol, GD!

(But totally untrue for me. If Eric ever compliments me, I know he's up to something and I get very suspicious).

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

-Abraham Lincoln

"Gliddy glup gloopy; Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo...
Sabba sibby sabba; Nooby aba naba
Le le lo lo...
Tooby ooby wala; Nooby aba naba
Early morning singing song"

~ Ragni & Rado

So if my memo stated "Please use the UNIX password in the dialog box", which password do you think you should have used?

by Scrooge McSam

Whoa, slow down there. You're getting a little too technical for me.

We may have employment opportunities for you.