I will start by saying T that this, overall, looks fantastic. We have all been focusing on improvements but I wanted to let you know that this looks so freakin' good in such a short period of time is amazing!

OK, some of the edits still seam abrupt to me. In particular: both sides of the soap drop, into the soap squeeze, and into the split screen. When trying to convey "soft", you need soft transitions as well. There may be too many scenes/transitions as well, but maybe if these transitions were softened it might help.

And, I disagree about the fogged mirror - I like it. It provides a little motion to an otherwise static screen. You are selling the product, not Jen. I think the fog is just about right. I don't know if there is a VO on the closing shot (I can't listen at work: only watch), but it looks ripe for one.

True though, depending on how they are judging these, one thing to consider is the fact that most people ignore commercials. Many look away. The VO is a way to get the message across even if the viewer isn't looking at the ad. That said, something disruptive can be just as powerful. Sometimes a complete absence of sound can get the consumers attention just as if not more powerfully than any VO or tune.

So it's doesn't actually replace soap then? The takes give me the impression it does. Another thing to think about.

Like I said, I didn't dislike the fog effect, it was just over done to the point that I actually had to back up because I thought the entire mirror shot was gone. I could barely see anything. I liked the idea of obscuring, but you want it to be there enough to make the point.

Aw, shucks. :blush:

I'm trying to keep the beginning a bit more rough and abrupt, like the soap, and then soften things up once the Dove comes in. Hence why the beginning is also sans music. Would that make sense or no? I'm not sure how to convey it differently. Hmmm.

Oooooh. Damn good points. Ok, I'll try out a VO version in a bit too. :)

It is body wash, so it does replace soap. It's quite fine wash too. I just used it for the first time today, and I feel like I bathed in lotion. I am silky!!

I feel the same.

Ok, here is Take 3.

And for those of you who are Quicktime-challenged, here are temporary links to private Google viewing (they're very pixilated this way though):

Take 1
Take 2
Take 3

I still prefer the fog in the shower (even if it is a bit too thick).....the consumer needs to focus on the product, not the woman.

Other than that Take 3 makes more sense.

I agree about the focus being on the product. I don't even think the fog is too much in Take 2.

Did I say I really like the squeaky shower faucet at the beginning? Well, I do.

OK. Very different perspective with the sound on.

Initial viewing seems okay. Would like a little more fog on the mirror (but I still like the old shot better).

I'll have to watch again in a few minutes.