Well, I still haven't discovered it. Just thought it was something lashbear says.

This, combined with a Best Buy ad that was just on, populated by a sequence of celebrities I didn't recognize (I only knew it must be celebrities because Lebron James was in the mix) means it is time for to self-euthanize.

Nope, still not my day.

Chicken wing.

I'd forgotten how much I like verbal sparring. It's been a very enjoyable day.

Wait, you gargled with water from the Hot-tub?

I had to replace my hard drive today.

My Dr. tells me I will need to do that soon. It's hell getting old....

It's fun reading this immediately after scrolling down from the stripper pole rental posts, heheh.

The music videos of Die Antwoord seriously warp my brain.

It's too bad the blackface has cultural baggage because the visual in that one is pretty stunning.

Exactly. And because I'm rather ignorant of the cultural context, I have no idea how to begin parsing those visuals. How much of that actually racist? How much of it inadvertently racist (because I'm pretty sure in South Africa, even a relatively progressive viewpoint can still be quite racist. See: minstrel)? Or is it all satirical/purposefully racially confrontational to make anti-racist statements? Are some parts just pure abstraction for weirdness' sake? Can any of those really be separated?

All I know for sure is that those two are incredibly skilled rap artists, whoever is doing their videos is incredibly skilled, and I can't look away.

There was an article at Slate about the video in the last couple of days (that's why I knew what you were talking about) that talked about the cultural context of blackface in South Africa (apparently they have there own minstrel shows).

Die Antwoord is one of those things that I find incredible and mind-bending, but that I can't recommend to anyone, really.

Die Antwoord are performance artists who created these wonderfully mind-bending personas. That they suddenly became popular in the states just magnified the art in so many ways.

Yay, you dig it! All hail the Guru!! :cool:

The personas of Die Antwoord are just the latest in a series of characters they've played through the years. Having said that - they absolutely nail it. See em live if you can. They do not disappoint.

Just read the official police report of our accident.

The driver of the 100% at fault - due to an "illegal turning motion."

Also, we have the CRV back. Looks great.

That's awesome news GD!

I feel bad for the family in the SUV at fault. On top of having gone through that hell, being responsible for the insurance side of things, and getting cited for the traffic violation - it was in a construction zone which means the fine is doubled. Everyone on scene was of course very relieved that we all walked away unscathed, but they are no doubt going to be reeling from this for a while. And they had a young child of their own.

True to my nature, after reading that Slate article about them I watched several of the Die Antwood videos, some of them more than once.

I still remember many of the visuals and couldn't tell you a think about the music.

These look like fun.
Trick-Or-Treat Cookies for Halloween
spoilering because the image is a little big and it has a fake spider in the corner

Click the link for the recipe and construction instructions.

The little bugs are adorable!

So here we are nearing the end of October and we just had a planning meeting to review all our emergency procedures in case a Hurricane and/or Snowstorm hits us early next week.

Go to the market, buy 25 loaves of bread, 22 pizzas (various flavors), 13 gallons of milk and 4 cases of beer. Got it, you're all set, if you were at my Safeway in Warrenton.

My first snowstorm and I really did need a half gallon of milk, not knowing the drill, it was hilarious!

In any case, is the snowmageddon cam working?

More importantly, be safe Moonie and Co.!

OOh, I love these! Next year!

Ive got to admit, the cookies are pretty durn cool.

the write up mentions something about not putting plastic spiders and the like in them. I suppose I can understand this.

...alum or peppercorns I think would work just fine
:evil:

Short of the Michael Bay forecast, we are not expected to get any snow from this storm so "Snowmageddon" cam will stay on standby. However his tropical cousin "Frankenstorm" cam is standing by should conditions deteriorate.

Prior to coming to work today I filled the gas tanks on all the cars plus the 5 gallon can for the generator, stopped by the hardware store to pick up some spray sealant (for a leaky spot on the roof) and a box of Firelogs (they make great kindling). After work I'll clean out all the gutters and put away all the deck furniture.

Doesn't preparing for a storm take all the fun out of it?

Happiness is being at the grocery store and hearing the Grim Grinning Ghosts.

It's even better when you are standing in a Mansion and hearing it :D

Bite me.

Well, it has been a while: we haven't been there since Tuesday.

I got a new keyboard again. I was tired of not being able to type "S"s.

Is it up and running? Linky?

thanks. I guess I missed it somehow. :blush:

I just realized that I'm sitting here surfing news about Hurricane Sandy while eating pecan sandies. Quite unintentional.

While humming Grease tunes?

No... But that would have been perfect.

Cat Shaming
some examples

Bad news: parked the CRV after being out late on Saturday. CP shut the car down...then heard the entire contents of the radiator dump on our carport.

Good news: Just a busted hose. Shop that did the accident repair work is fixing it and returning the car today.

Ego stroking news: With a flashlight and a bit of deductive reasoning, I correctly diagnosed it down to a hose issue. Good to know I've retained some portion of my limited working auto mech knowledge.

Tom Magliozzi voice: "With my flashlight, I deduced that the radiator was still in the kah and not half a block behind me in the street."

I would seriously get that diagnosis checked out by your doctor.

The quote could have been much worse:

What? Something about a flashlight, a hose or a ho? I couldn't quite make that out....

for Portal fans who enjoy cookies

Really, shouldn't that have been cupcakes?

How to park for free in Horton Plaza parking structure for 15 hours.

Step 1: Park in Horton Plaza parking structure on a school night far later than you should be parking anywhere.

Step 2: Lose rental car key*.

Step 3: Take a cab back to the hotel and deal with it tomorrow.

Step 4: Go to work the next day, getting a ride from your amazing, attractive coworker** who didn't lose any car keys

Step 5: Return to Horton Plaza and call AAA

Step 6: Discover that the tow truck can't fit into the parking structure

Step 7: Have the tow truck driver break into the car and release the shift/stearing lock

Step 8: Ask the next car to pull up to the entrance gate to take a ticket and back up after the arm is up so you can roll the car out the entrance.

Step 9: Be very thankful that your company springs for the rental car loss waiver (no charge for lost key), and that your intelligent and attractive coworker has AAA.



* Not me

** Me

When is the movie release?

I heard Colin Farrell is playing your part.

:D

Dating sucks. I'm about ready to join a convent.

Don't give up Pru!

26-Pound Edible Gummy Python

Hmmm, the guy on the right is thinking about the guy on the left while eating a large python.....


;)

I got to tryout my new Santa suit this past Saturday at the Orange Farmers Market.
I like it, it is a lot cooler than my other suits and I did have a great time visiting with the children.

That was you?? Theo and I were there! You called out to us when you overheard me saying his name. I'm so sorry I gave you the brush off...it gets tricky when you don't celebrate Christmas. :blush: You looked fantastic though!

Yep that was me and no problem

How much for that Santa in the Window
 

So last night I was the window display last night at Cielo Boutique Salon in Manhattan Beach, CA

How cool!

Was that last night?

A bearded man in a suit of flame who calls out to you when you say one of the names of God? You could have brushed off Elijah the Prophet!

Guy finds his ancient double at the museum

I love a live Santa in the window, how cool!

I'm never quite looking for him unless I've had three cups of wine.

That guy needs that insane outfit.

Soooo.... LoT has a tencennial approaching. Wild, eh?

We still have another 2 years & change, I'd hold off on pressing your ball gowns for now. There are only a few Facebook holdouts left among us.

*sigh*

Ok fine. I'll give up on being a Facebook holdout. But it's still an evil site.

Don't do it Moonie, stand strong with me, Facebook is still evil!

Too late Cirque. All the cool kids AND Jim's Mom are doing it.

I should probably remind everyone that here in LoT we have no privacy settings, in fact we have no privacy policy - so uh, post at your own risk :cheers:

Sure there is a privacy policy: there is no privacy.

Do we have a piracy policy? :argghh:

Oh, my bad. I saw something about a certain other site celebrating a decade, and made the assumption. But they may be going off a different origination date.

Mind: unblown.

Sure you do. It's called the Parking LoT. Members only. Also you are not data mining the sh!t out of everything we do and selling it to anyone and everyone or tracking us on non-LoT sites even if we try and opt out.

I couldn't have said it better!

I don't really care about Facebook datamining and selling me to the highest bidder.

It is just an incredibly awful format in which to try and hold anything resembling a conversation.

LoT may not be datamining but GoogleBots sure are.



Unrelated but I got some entertaining spam at work today.

Literally cut and paste

Hey, I'm from Vancouver, WA. I may have gone to high school with John. In fact I think there was a John in my class.

Though unlike most spam somebody actually did the work of looking up a correct ZIP code for Vancouver.

"Age" is turning 10. "Chat" is the same age as us.

Yeah, I realize that now. *smacks forehead*

How many Black Friday tramplings/beatings/stabbings will result in deaths this year?

So, Mannheim Steamroller is an expensive ticket to sleep through. But on the other hand it is tolerable when you only experience 10 minutes of the 90 minute show.

Think I wa out within 46 seconds of the show starting.

Music to sleep by....

So what do you think of Massively Multiplayer Online Shopping. Apparently it's a thing now.

I'm going to go with: No Thanks.

I wouldn't do it, but only because I wouldn't do any shopping that requires any additional effort beyond the 10 minutes I'm willing to spend in a store (or online retailer).

But the concept of grab bags doesn't strike me as particularly Japanese. Setting up a system to exchange seems like a reasonable next step. Heck, I seem to recall last year it wasn't uncommon to see a friend excitedly post about having bot a Woot Bag of Crap and then following up a few days later asking if anybody wanted whatever it was that they got.

cause it's true
 

The number of people I feel the need to notify when I forget my phone at home is surprising long.

Then don't leave your phone at home.

The number of people who feel I should feel the need to notify them when I forget my phone at home is surprisingly long.

She's generally disappointed on that front.

You go on an entirely different list.

Tonight is the night the episode of Castle that I am in is on
look for the Santa in green and the one with the cane panted like a candly cane

I missed the first few minutes but just saw you in the Santa circle with the candycane cane! I'll look and see if I missed your other part. I have never watched this show before.

Actually, Castle is a really good show. We have this episode on the TiVo and will watch soon.

Your episode of Castle is the lead on HULU.com. Oh! and there you are at 9min 15sec. Just before the first commercial break.

Ok, costume-types. I need to come up on a pre-1600 take on Alice. Pronto. Any ideas?

Alice herself, or could you do the hatter? Because I could totally see him in poofy pants.

I could see him in one of those Shakespear-type collars that look like an air filter around his neck. And tights. And a poofy shirt. Oh, and a wide brimed hat with a long feather......

How early can you go? Possible surcote.

Any period pre-1600? Go blonde and put on a blue toga with white highlights.

Gotta do Alice - there's an unofficial effort for female types to show up at an event in March as period versions of Disney princesses, although that's been extended to heroines in general, as well as villains. I'm going for something that fewer people will be doing, and a friend might go as the Queen of Hearts, so there'd be sort of a team thing going on.

I'm trying to wander away from my usual style (which doesn't seem to appear in blue, ever, anyhow) and contemplate other options - like a ladder-laced Venetian with split skirt - white under and blue dress. Possibility for a Dinah cat-esque flea fur, if I could come up with it. I have to say though - a toga would definitely be unexpected, and more likely to be completed, given the number of steampunk ideas queued up in my brain. Maybe I could convince others to go as a purple Persian/Turkish caterpillar, striped, landsknecht Cheshire cat, and the above-suggested pumpkin-panted or venetians-sporting Mad Hatter. I think there are portraits of guys in the latter with tall hats.

So do any of you NorCal people know a good place to eat near Cyril & Magnin? The husband is down there all week and is a little overwhelmed by it all. I think he's getting room service tonight but I don't want him to eat that all week.

Darn. I was going to suggest a full on Princess Leia. People tend to forget she is not just from far far way but "Long Long ago" as well.

Cyril Magnin? Well, to me that suggests Lefty O'Doul's or David's deli, both on Geary or any number of old timey joints on Powell, the bar at the top of the Sir Francis Drake, etc.

If he wants to head north and east a bit, there's a Frenchy district: Cafe Claude on Sutter, a French place on Geary and Grant, I believe, and the various places on Belden Alley off of Pine.

Up Grant is Chinatown. Up Kearney and around Columbus is North Beach and Italian.

I believe Union Square now has a cafe in the middle of it and regular entertainment.

Etc.

There's a McDonalds right around the corner...

We got fvcked up at Lefty O'Doul's. Surprised we made it back to the hotel that was just across the street.

Anyway, I feel in love with the pastries from Bellini's, on Powell by Geary had a couple good sandwiches there. There is an Italian restaurant right around there too that was good but we had better in North Beach. The mall has a food court. Nothing exciting but its within walking distance.

Lefty's is fun, though I'm only ever there with my Dad and Stepmom

For Moonie and Matt, I found every audiophile article ever written

First of all: ugh. Second: that character has been most vigorously forbidden.

Let me take a look and I'll let you know

Colibri is good and lots of good tequila, too

We've been in the new office for just under a month, and we've been asked by three different companies about filming in our space.

I think you need a full time production liaison for your building.

So, where's the pictures? Or is that forbidden?

Cookie Bra
Suddenly a granola bra doesn't seem so far-fetched.

Van Gogh's Starry Night in "3D"

The organizer who has been hosting dancing on Saturday nights at the ESPN stage in Downtown Disney (AKA Carnation Plaza in exile) announced that the dance would be in a Grand Californian ballroom one Saturday night in February. He created a Facebook event so they could get an estimate of how many people might attend and within about 48 hours something like 700 people said they would. They were planning for about 300 or so. Now they're having to backpedal and explain that RSVPing for the event is no guarantee you will get in because of limited capacity etc. Oops.

Yesterday, it was PNWSnowmaggedon. Tonight, everything is melting, and the wind is blowing. It feels like the Chinooks, but I know better- those don't hit until mid-February. It's like a false promise of impending Spring. Meanwhile, wild animals roam our halls, tweaked by the creaking of the house and the howling of the wind. Hyper little ****s.

*sigh* ...and still you tease me, Wendybeth.

**Goes back to sitting in front of the fan**

:confused: Hey I checked the weather there in Australia, It's not THAT bad. In fact it's about the same temp as here in DC. Overcoat and gloves weather.

Oh wait, you use Celsius don't you? Never mind.

I feel you pain everyone. It is a bone-chilling 64° F (18° C) here.

18 C ?? That's WARM !! I was walking around Matsumoto in Japan in a singlet and shorts at 39 F temperatures.

If you quit giving Tori and her friends energy drinks they'd settle down. :p

I'm always amazed by how dirty my glasses get before I notice they need to be cleaned, and how crisp the world looks after I do.

Yes, it's depressing to have one's bracing morning cocktail in a dirty glass.

There's a great analogy there. *tucks away for future use*

Anyone else watching Downton Abbey? Someone did a "if last weeks episode was entirely on Facebook" thing, and it totally nails it.

So, I met some of the Kings players last night, and the one I ended up getting to chat a little bit with (Kevin Westgarth) was traded to Carolina Hurricanes this morning.

It's your fault!

;)

Photos from the Meet The Players event - here

Crossed the threshold of my gym yesterday for the first time in over a year. Hopped on a bike and rode 10 miles to start. I guess I overdid a little. Feeling it today. Going back for more punishment today, too.

Went to the doc last week for the annual and all numbers we're good. Fasting BS was under 100, HC1 was good and all he did was ream me about my weight, I gained 4 lbs in 6 months. He's right, but damn, give me a little credit buddy!

Dammit, I'm SICK of being sick! Day 12 of the creeping crud...

We were sick pretty much all of December, and into January. What kind of sick cooties you got, Jim? We had the sinus faucet that couldn't be shut off- Tori resorted to just stuffing tissues up her nose to stop the deluge. So wrong- at her age, those tissues need to be stuffed somewhere else! ;)

I just concluded a call that took a while to complete. It was a very simple procedure, but there was about 15 minutes of us just waiting for the process to complete. At the end of the call, this conversation happened.
Caller: Thank you very much for doing that, I know it was hard.
Me: You're welcome, but was just long, it wasn't hard [realizing what just came out of my mouth] That came out weird...
Caller: wooOOOO!
Then she laughed heartily. Which was a relief!

Adding "realizing what just came out of my mouth" does not really help your case here.

too true :evil:

VMM !! :snap:

"What I meant to say is that it was you. You're a nice lady. That's why it wasn't hard."

Saw a nameplate on a cube today.

Paul Sack.

The end.

Cool beans.

My USGS Earthquake app notified me of the Nuclear Test in North Korea this morning. I feel just like Q.

Perhaps if it keeps up, you'll no longer be in Kansas anymore.

We're the North Koreans using one of your designs?

Are you kidding? A crappy 7-KT device? Hell no. That's high school science project size.

Let's say you detonated it over the center of the esplanade, the main fireball would just barely reach the main gates of DL and CA. IASW would have a 50/50 chance of not being flattened, although it would probably be on fire.

A real one would crater DLR and flatten or set fire to everything closer than the 405.

That is oddly comforting and discomforting information.

Where does your facial hair fall?

I can't sleep but I'd really like to. I can't even think of anything productive to do that wouldn't wake the teen. Ho hum

So, my wife thought it would be fun to break her leg for Valentines day. I dissagree....

But a left disital fubular fracture with mild displacement is what she got. If it's not one thing.....you get the picture.

Oh my, I am so sorry to hear that. I hope she can recover quickly.

Oh no. I hope she feels better soon!

Thanks guys. We go to the specialist Monday to see what the outcome may be. But right now she is unable to do anything by herself. After 4 back surgeries she is not ambilitory enough to use crutches, and needs to be pushed in the wheelchair to leave the bed at all. This requires 24 hr help, which is not easy.

So.....

I know most people don't understand it or think it must be the most boring vacation ever, but I'm enjoying myself.

Lani is off for a week on a Disney cruise. I didn't want to go but rather than have two weeks this year of vacation without the other, I decided to take one at the same time.

So I flew into Orlando with her last Friday and have been driving around the Southeast ever since. Not really site seeing (very brief stops in Savannah, Charleston, and Myrtle Beach), just driving. Almost 1200 miles (currently in Chattanooga, was on the South Carolina coast when I woke up) since lunch time on Saturday.

Staying off the interstates and just enjoying seeing places I've never seen before. Just in my own head all day. Very relaxing.

So. 5 Random Minutes of North Carolina. Boring perhaps but good for me.

Also, I'm simultaneously pleased and appalled that this exists ("South of the Border" is a play on words since it is just on the South Carolina side of the border with North Carolina).

Questions abound, among them: 1) Did we catch you in a secret pop music wallow? 2) Did you stop at Porky's to get your ass kicked?

Actually, those are all my questions.

1) No, I had it on a random news station and didn't want anybody to read anything meaningful into whatever was being said (driving 10 hours a day I'll do time on pretty much all of them). So right before I started I hit one of the preset buttons.

2) I considered it. But decided to wait for Porky's II later on.

Rose got a bitchin' new tattoo yesterday...

Great tat, Rose!

As of last Wednesday evening, I have a nephew.

I'm glad facebook still doesn't support Gifs.

Congrats!

Predictable pedant is predictable.


"Here is an analogy. It is not a perfect analogy. It is, in fact, a very over the top melodramatic analogy meant purely to illustrate that your absolutist statement is, in fact, not an absolute. I know that it's not an exact parallel to the situation, but that's not why I'm making the analogy."


"That analogy doesn't fit the situation!!!"

Deliveries to Marina Del Rey, Santa Fe Springs, and Olde Towne Tustinne. Maybe look at a kitchen space or two along the way. I fully expect to find myself at the DLR for dinner. :)

Is the new pope anti-gay and anti-birth control, you ask?





Is the Pope Catholic?

So, last night Tom is flipping through Scientific American. He stops at a shoe ad. These shoes have little springs in the heel. They're new. They're okay looking. You can try them risk-free for 30 days!

He notices the logo. Could it really be ...yes, actually it really is (SFW but biological).

No sale.

It's a perfect match for an Ed Hardy shirt.

Wouldn't the shirt cancel out the shoes? Douche vs. sperm?

Of course, those shoes don't come in my size (story of my life)

Rocking six flags over Texas using the CoasterMatt plan. Being nauseus was never so much fun.

So it seems "Good Friday" is a thing

It was good for traffic this morning

So they let you sleep on the ship? That sounds like a lot of fun!

I remember seeing those in the Sky Mall catalog a while ago and thinking the same thing.

Today marks one of the great rights of spring.

I changed the setting on the house thermostats from "Heat" to "Cool"

Heady stuff to be sure.

Talking about rites of spring... Sneezing.

With some crazy April winds, our office is full of sneezing fits.

taken from David Mixner's 5 Questions for Oscar-winning Producer Bruce Cohen

Types of Coffee

I want this
 

Turn your fridge into a TARDIS

How would you ever know if the food in it has expired or not?

Maddie would love that!

But even if the food has expired, you could just go back in time to a point where it wasn't expired.

And the bonus is it's bigger on the inside.

I never realized it before, but that must be what Vincent used at Cafe Diem!

Awesome Dad Has Illustrated His Kids' Sandwich Bags Every Day Since 2008


video featuring the dad
Flickr archive of all the bags

More importantly, down at the bottom is a link to the most vagina shaped foods.

As for the sandwich art, cool. But I hope he knows when to stop (and I must admit I find something a little narcissistic about putting each one out to the world to show how awesome he is instead of it just being a cool thing between him and his kids).

I used to put smilies and such on Maddie's lunch stuff. But mostly it was just to embarrass her when she pulled it out of the bag.

I'm no artist, but over the years I've written many a note on lunch box napkins. I even signed them "Love, The Napkin." My kids appreciated them, well, not at all. I should have saved them, though.

Or maybe I should just die. Then, they'll appreciate the napkin notes, by heaven.

I think.

My dad used to leave me notes. Not in my lunch but other places. I have one framed in my room that reads "Dear Ms. Hog, Clean your room or Santa won't come to your house. Signed, A Friend" with a drawing of a pig.

VKSDM

just chillin'

So this is a thing now...

Glowing plants. I have mine on order. I'll let you know how it goes.

Wow, that's cool!

This seems perfect for one of those unintended consequences where things go horribly wrong. Awesome!

.

We are off Puerto Rico with cell phone service!

http://share.findmespot.com/shared/f...G6qEUJ8GfHvlai

Sooo this is a thing...

I'm sitting at lunch today and I get a text from Moonie Jr. (currently away at college)

"We are on our way to go skydiving. FYI I made a will for my stuff and saved it on my PC just in case"

I miss college.

When these first came out, I had one of the squirt guns, it was cool. but they've been sold out forever. I see they have a few other items now!

Millenium Blaster


Coming Soon & videos

The CBS logo from another angle

another hidden pacman logo

So look who I just saw on National TV:

CoasterMatt and Mutt!

Awesome, though that's not your twitter handle, right?

Dear IT Department,

Sending out an email to say that the email system isn't working doesn't really do me much good. Nor do the 3 status updates you sent on the progress while it was out.

I setup an in house IM app just for this type of thing, oh and as a side effect dropped traffic on the mail servers about 20% as people started using it for quickies.


(And yes that is a fat one right over the plate for you Kevy)

Thank you: I'm a big fan of the in-house IM app.

Bro-sie The Riveter
An awesome tale of how a gender equality in the workplace prank turned out.

So, the Carousel of Progress dad's current head is not proportional to his body. It's too big. Not only that but in the second scene (1920's), his head is a bit askew, giving him a zombie vibe. It's the one and only time I had the distinct feeling an anamatronic was about to come after the audience.

Wow, how could they get the size of the head wrong? Wierd...

Enjoy your trip!

Interesting, but not for the faint of heart. You've probably heard about how, when climbers die on Mt. Everest, they are unable to recover the bodies, so they are left where they died. Well this link is a photo essay of them.

Interesting.

My SIL works for a major travel insurer's medical assistance division. He's one of the people who arranges medevacs off Everest and, literally, all over the world.

It's an interesting job.

I'm more interested in your sister-in-law being a he.

Yet another reason why I like Wil Wheaton
 

Wil Wheaton spoke at the Denver Comic Con this past weekend. During the Q&A a young girl asked him this question, "When you were a kid were you called a nerd and, if so, how did you deal with it?"
This was his response:
For a video of the event, click here. (audio is not great)

I even loved him on Eureka, even though he played a bit of a di<k character....

I hate to disappoint you but, in this case, SIL = son-in-law

So, I saw a clown eating in the hospital cafeteria. Costume, wig, full makeup. The interesting part: the clown kept his/her red nose on the whole time.

That's commitment to a role.

Did he say "This tastes Funny"?

HA! You crack me up!!

I decided it was a bit too racy for FB. Mildy NSFW.

How many suburbs have you pamphleted so far?

I found I get a better response with hand distribution

Hand distribution's fine and all, but most people think word of mouth gets a more positive response.

this amused me

Lol, Szbm!

Soooooo...... another school year is winding down. It has been absolutely the busiest year of my life- I've barely had time to breathe, and need a vacation more than I ever have before. Tori has been attending Riverpoint Academy, located at the WSU campus in downtown Spokane. Every day we spend two hours commuting from the 'burbs, and I've worked my salon schedule around that commute. Taking two hours out of every day necessitated my working an additional day in order to fit in my clients, so it's six days a week, every week, and my day starts at 7 AM, and ends at 8 or 9. I more often than not do my friends and family's hair on the one day I have off, which whittled my days off to about one a month. Yeah, kinda tired. The good thing is the Girl has a 4.00, and is on track to graduate with honors next year. I'm very proud of her, especially since she has refused any accommodation for her hearing loss- she's just like any other student. Looking forward to reconnecting here and gaining some semblance of normalcy (no worries- I know better than to seek that from you lot! ;)) in my private life.

Also, Nick, Bobbi's son, graduated from his HS yesterday, and received a certificate that placed him in the top 10% of WA state honor students. Very proud of him! He also has a gorgeous, smart and wickedly funny girlfriend- he better not **** it up! ;)

Congratulations on the smart kiddos! I hope you get a little break soon.

Well, it's a lot of sacrifice, WB, but it sure sounds like the kids have made it worth it! You must be doing something right. :cool:

I agree! It may be tiring, but in a good way! Good job!

Thanks, everyone! Katiesue, same for you- I know your awesome kiddo keeps you hopping as well! Tori just has today and tomorrow- is it wrong that I am happier about the summer break than she is? :D

OMG. Take a break !! It is really good news to hear of Tori & Nick's academic achievements, and there's only one thing to add really...


...My hair's getting a bit long. Can you pop over and do me this weekend? ;)

If Clark Kent applied to the Daily Planet today:
(spoilered for size)

Clark Kent may seem like just a mild-mannered reporter, but listen, not only does he know how to treat his editor-in-chief with the proper respect, not only does he have a snappy, punchy prose style, but he is, in my forty years in this business, the fastest typist I've ever seen.

Weekend plans?

Road Trip!

It's 701 miles to Chicago, we got a full tanks of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

Chicago here we come.

This thought popped into my head that someday it might be neat to attend the Glastonbury Festival, so on a whim, I looked it up. Holy f*@%! What a ginormous lineup! Now I really want to do it some day.

It usually sells out in the first hour so you have to be ready to commit. Oh and that's before any bands are announced.

Well, I'd also have to be ready to go to England, so I guess it'd be several years before I could do it. Still, huge festival!

So, I saw my oncologist two days ago (that was the only time in the past 20 years that I missed DL's Anniversary). It was the one year anniversary of my surgery to remove my invasive melinoma. Everything looks great, no reoccurance, so I past the one year mark cancer-free. What a relief! :snap:

Of course I must continue to be carefull and have regular check ups. It was stage 1B, so I caught it early enough.

Soooooo......

What's been going on?

Possible gallbladder issues - ultrasound on Friday hoping to stay out of the ER until then

Good luck!

Blech. Boneless, skinless chicken with no oil until you get it figured out.

I just poached boneless skinless chicken breast in chicken stock with aromatic veggies and spices. Comes out very juicy and flavorfull! Then you strain out the stock and use it for gravy, soup, or reduce it and add a little butter just before serving for a great sauce! Yum!

Today I saw an internet comment decrying Robin Thicke's success due to "nepotism".

Whatever your opinion of Robin Thicke...nepotism?! Yeah, he just grabbed onto his daddy's coattails and road them straight to superstardom and relevancy! Get me on that Alan Thicke gravy train!

Perhaps it was his mom's coattails?

Oh, is she someone?

Was. Soap star and singer back in the day. Gloria Loring.

If you want to go one step further for the ultimate melt-in-the-mouth chicken experience, try putting the raw chicken breasts in the cold stock (with the spices) the day before and leaving it overnight in the refrigerator before bringing it to the simmer the next day to poach it with the veggies. This 'pre-brining' in the stock will über-tenderise your chicken and infuse the flavour even better !! :cheers:

Hmmm Never though to try this, but I will now. Thanks!

Good idea! I'll try that next time!

But of course you knew that before you went.

So...I have gallstones...

Mazel tov!

You got a lot of nerve!

Well, Chris at least you know what it is and how to deal with it. Not to play down the pain because it's the closest pain a man can get (other than passing kidney stones) to child birth from what I hear. At least if it gets too bad, you can easily live with out that gallbladder. Good luck, I hope the pain lightens up!

Bill has been out of town all weekend. When he gets home today, do I greet him like a dog: by running around in circles, whining, and trying to lick his face? Or, do I greet him like a cat; by ignoring in the most painfully obvious manner possible, and then peeing in his shoes? Decisions, decisions...

Are you having your gallbladder out? Because then you and I can talk about our gallbladder operations geezerstyle!

November 15 - apparently they are going to pull out from my belly button, but I don't think they'll let me watch.

An office pal just had this done, absolutle breeze. Doc did not let her watch, either.

Will NA make a pendant if the stones are large enough for a keepsake? ;)

I found an online supply company that sells Deuterium! So I have some of that on order now.

Technically it's deuterium oxide, aka heavy water and the most exciting thing you could do with that at a party would be to make ice cubes that sink in your glass.

UNfortunately you'd probably have to remind a number of guests that ice normally floats - I'd stick to cold fusion

So someone I went to high school with got into a fight with his girlfriend, drowned her in their pool, and then attempted to hang himself. Thanks Facebook for keeping me connected.

I hope you poked that person. Or at the very least, sent them a Farmville invite! Good 'ol FB!

Makes my facebook updates look kinda wimpy. I'll have to work on that.

Yikes! That must feel surreal.

Props for the bike time!

Who?

Never mind. Found it.

:eek:
Really, my FB updates are so placid in comparison! In this instance, I'm rather glad of it, too.

Huh!?!?!
 

Jack Douglas is one of those figures that are very famous when active and then completely forgotten once they stop. I've read a couple of his books. He was a humorist in the way people could be on the old talk shows. Not really a stand up but just came on and was funny.

He wrote a handful of humorous memoirs (kind of a David Sedaris of the '60s and '70s now that I think about it). While I haven't read this one, the first part of the title is a reference to him being Jewish and his wife (who also was someone known though I can't remember her name but have just looked it up and it was Reiko) was Japanese.

The fact that now nobody knows him doesn't bode well for the comprehensibility of Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls in 40 years.

666 by Jay Anson was a great book too.


Yes, I read it.

I remember "Jack Douglas and Reiko" as talk show guests for reasons that were never obvious beyond the self-validating fact that they were there.

Have a wonderful trip!

Sounds like fun!

A cure for earworms?

Have fun! :)

Wow; thanks for the awesome trip report

:cool:

€uroMeinke 2.0?

It's a screen-grab from this video

That picture doesn't have a typical extension, so it it's not showing up, you should be able to see it as the first image in this article.

I could see that!

Wow. It's like the liquid metal terminator. I hope Euro can come back from the future (past?) and defeat him.

So, if the bible were being written today do you think texting your mother from the toilet would be a sin?

Because I have to say, it definitely felt wrong.

The text isn't supposed to go in that end.

It's 7 degrees today. So of course my daughters school has a fire drill this morning. Well played.

Perhaps they were just trying to warm things up.....

So it's down to this. After all the family, feasts, lights, parties, presents, decorating and celebrating this is it. As soon as I eat this it's all over. Done.

Nom nom nom...

Good news: This dirty chai latte will power me through the work I need to do tonight to dig myself out of the start-of-the-year lull.


Bad news: I just taught myself to make a damned good dirty chai latte at home.

Should I ask what the dirty part is? I know a dirty martini has olive juice in it, but I assume that's not the secret ingredient in your latte.

espresso shot

Kevy, toaster. Toaster, Kevy.
The Vagina Toaster (NSFW)
read the comments :evil:

Soooo.... it's snowing. So we're watching The Shining, of course.

To go along side the
Hot Dog Toaster


:D

Why yes, I did use a bible reference in my argument about why Hobby Lobby can't deny birth control coverage and blame it on being Christian.

(For the record: HL's argument is that they shouldn't pay $ for something against their beliefs, and I mentioned that it's not a choice, it's the law, and "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's" Mark 12:13-17 - boo yah!)

Not to mention, it is really insane if we decide that corporations are able to have religious beliefs. At that point we might as well let them drive cars.

^^^^^ that.

Well, after months of blue skies and balmy weather, cloudy with a chance of rain. Nice for a change, but, not enough rain I am sure to even clear the air. It's a lovely day!

It looks like winter may make a comeback in So Cal starting Friday. Temps in the 50's and 60's, a slight chance of rain on Friday and Monday. This has been the driest Janurary in history, and the driest season in hundreds of years! And the Gov. called it an official drought, so I sure hope we get some rain!

We have some hope of getting above freezing by the end of the week.

And then they'll want to get married.

I know! Damn global warming, messing up the weather all over the planet! As we reach 80°F today, I'll think about you. I'll even stand outside, face east, and blow real hard to send some your way!

Yeah about that.......

Geez, we make arrangements to help bring warmer weather to the bitter East Coast and all you can do is complain about it.

Seriously though, even Florida gets snow and what do we get for winter? Swimsuit weather, bleh. Everybody's coming down with infections due to the unseasonable weather and early abundance of pollen.

We moved out of the hotel today! There is not much in the house but it is a house again.

Yay Cirque!!

Someone went to Gallifrey One. I wish I could have gone. :(

There's no place like home!

So...a lot of people really have no concept of how to assess risks, especially relative to other risks.

I shouldn't be, but I continue to be amazed by how many people decide to be scared of something that doubles your risk of some horrible outcome without first asking what the baseline level of risk was.

If some action increases my risk of dying during the thirty seconds I'm performing that act from 1 in 1,000,000,000 to 1 in 500,000,000 I'm still not really going to be worried about it.

Inspired by two instances (one work, one online) in which people made sweeping pronouncements about how people should behave based on absolutely no sense of the actual risk. "Someone experienced a bad outcome" says absolutely nothing about risk beyond "the risk is probably non-zero."

ETA: Oh, and yes, my view on what constitutes acceptable risk may change if I had children (though hopefully not to the silly "any non-zero risk is unacceptable" standard I see wielded by parents whenever they disapprove of a risk but ignored when they approve of it) but that wouldn't change the validity of the assessment of actual risk. Joining in irrationality does not make it less irrational.

It's what keeps the TSA, Homeland Defense and NSA in business.

As well as hospitals, chiropractors, and florists.

I'm so lame, I had to google that.

So cool. Maybe one day I'll brave a con of some sort.

Indeed. I was very surprised at my new risk assessment after having a child. I have done a few wild things in the past, things that I won't easily risk today, as my very existence is now in service to someone else. It's much more drastic than the slight shift I had after getting in a long term relationship...

I acquired bling. It is shiny and includes a diamond.

Ohhh! Sounds like some very special bling! Congrats.

Congratulations Prudence!

Very nice, Pru!

Congrats Pru!

You should! It was a blast. And people had made costumes for their kids, too, if you'd rather have the focus on him than on you.

Congratulations! :) :)

It was awesome, CP, you should totally go. Also, they pushed back the ticket sale date to March 21st, so now you have a little extra time to talk yourself into it :)

And the reason this isn't a thread of its own is ...?

(It might just be a diamond tooth stud)

Uh....I don't know? It's not my first time at the rodeo, but it's the first time I've had an engagement ring. It's shiny!

Well, you didn't say that! Congrats for sure!!

I thought maybe you got a new cell phone case or something.....

;)

What LA postcards should really say (from Thrillist)
Here are some highlights:

#2 is not even close to true. The Dodgers have one of the most consistent crowds in baseball.

Attendance history

In 2005 they finished 20 games under .500 and saw an average of >44,000 per game, a total of 1.1 Million higher attendance than the league average.



It should really read, "We're only here for the middle innings".

Is that counting sold seats or people through the turnstiles? It certainly possible (and i have no idea) that the Dodgers could have spectacular season ticket sales but they're bought by people who readily skip games when they're not winning.

I know that the Giants regularly had lots of empty seats at sold out games after the initial glow of the new ballpark wore off.

It is paid tickets, not turnstile attendance. But Dodger ticket holders regularly show up. Definitely not one of those stadiums that's 2/3 empty on weekday games.

I took it to read in reference to all sporting events, not the Dodgers in particular. But I don't know if that's what was meant or not.

And if being picky, can Disneyland really be claimed as the most expensive place on earth? I bet we can find examples of more expensive places somewhere on earth. And looked at per hour of entertainment, I bet going to the movies is more expensive.

My Premier Annual Pass cost $1,000 essentially. On a per-ride-rideen basis over the year that is probably no better than $50/ride. So it's up there. For me anyway.

The Disneyland joke is a hyperbole with some basis in reality and a play on their slogan. The Dodger crack is pretty baseless and even if it was somehow aimed at ALL sports attendance, putting over Dodger Stadium shows that someone really doesn't know what they're talking about as they are one of the most well attended franchises in sports history.

Sometimes Facebook reminds me why I never kept up with certain individuals.

Often

When you say 'orphan', do you mean:
Orphan - a person who has lost his parents, or
orphan - frequently?

Orphan - a person who has lost his parents

Got a "warning" from the ref at Headliners soccer game today. Apparently some parent complained about my new chant:

"Bend it like Fox News"

For those who remember MammaSilva, she suddenly passed away:

http://mousepad.mouseplanet.com/show...ilva&p=1847417

So sad! Words cannot express! :(

RIP, MammaSilva. You will be missed.

Oh, sadness. I can't read MP, but, she was so lovely and kind when the lashpair were visiting. I only met her then, but, a lovely lady. Sad cheese.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed by some of the things my relatives believe (and post on FB). Case in point: chemtrails.

Just saying.

I have similar relatives, under close cross examination it usually becomes clear they don't really believe in the woo, but generally just like to argue and will take whatever side promotes that goal.


Or.... You could offer to sell them the latest homeopathic remedy for chemtrails at say $40 per bottle?

Had to google that. I must do a better job of keeping up.

No matter. Tuesday we close on our house in Madison and then hellllllllooo Costco and food trucks and movie theaters that show something besides action films!

Morrigoon, if you're seeing your relatives this weekend for Easter, wind 'em up and let 'em talk. Should be entertaining.

So much woo, so little time.

I was sitting near a woman on BART the other day who was promoting and handing out literature for this site:

http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/

Lots of chemtrail goodness there.

She would be a good one to hand literature discussing the dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide.

Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

• Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
• Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
• Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
• DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
• Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
• Contributes to soil erosion.
• Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
• Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
• Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
• Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
• Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
• Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Some of the well-known uses of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

• as an industrial solvent and coolant,
• in nuclear power plants,
• by the U.S. Navy in the propulsion systems of some older vessels,
• by elite athletes to improve performance,
• in the production of Styrofoam,
• in biological and chemical weapons manufacture,
• in the development of genetically engineering crops and animals,
• as a spray-on fire suppressant and retardant,
• in so-called "family planning" or "reproductive health" clinics,
• as a major ingredient in many home-brewed bombs,
• as a byproduct of hydrocarbon combustion in furnaces and air conditioning compressor operation,
• in cult rituals,
• by the Church of Scientology on their members and their members' families (although surprisingly, many members recently have contacted DHMO.org to vehemently deny such use),
• by both the KKK and the NAACP during rallies and marches,
• by members of Congress who are under investigation for financial corruption and inappropriate IM behavior,
• by kids who play Beyblades,
• by the clientele at a number of bath houses in New York City and San Francisco,
• historically, in Hitler's death camps in Nazi Germany, and in prisons in Turkey, Serbia, Croatia, Libya, Iraq and Iran,
• in World War II prison camps in Japan, and in prisons in China, for various forms of torture,
• during many recent religious and ethnic wars in the Middle East,
• by many terrorist organizations including al Qaeda,
• in community swimming pools to maintain chemical balance,
• in day care centers, purportedly for sanitary purposes,
• by software engineers, including those producing DICOM software and other DICOM software tools,
• by popular computer science professors,
• by aspiring young adult fiction writers,
• by international travel bloggers,
• by the semi-divine King Bhumibol of Thailand and his many devoted young working girls in Bangkok,
• by the British Chiropractic Association and the purveyors of the bogus treatments that the BCA promotes,
• by commodities giant Trafigura in their well-publicized and widely-known toxic-waste dumping activities in Ivory Coast,
• in animal research laboratories, and
• in pesticide production and distribution.

These costumes from Wondercon this weekend made me smile:

That got a chuckle

WOOT!

Enjoy the move and the new adventures!!!!!

I always suspected this was how it happened.

Ha! The Pug Gun!!

Brach's has made 'Mercan candy corn

Is it red? If so, don't stand on top of it naked on PCH

Sorry; crossover from a minor Facebook conversation.

What? How? What?

Damn my parents for never taking me there.

So this is a thing?

Disney Water Art.

Sure, I've seen it at Disneyland a few times.

What is the instrument they're using to "paint" with?

From what I saw, I believe it was just a sweep broom with the bristles tied together - that way it can hold a reserve of water.

If not an actual broom, it looks like it could be a broom: it fits in with the theme of the artists looking like janitors since their water supply is the thing used to sweep small articles into.

I love it because it's not some production; it's not announced or anything, they just wander up and start painting the street seemingly randomly (at least that was how it was done when we last went to Disneyland over a year ago). Just some fun random thing thrown in.

Today I learned I'm not qualified to be a Disneyland janitor.

Really? May I ask why, or whay they need for qualifications?

Because this is me drawing Simba.

Attention Rocky Horror Fans
 

Check out the Twitter feed for @DrFNFurter
Pay close attention to the dates of his posts.

Well played.

Is there some significance to that specific date in the movie? If so then very well played.

Not that I'm aware of.

The movie took place on August 8, 1974.

Duh.

Granted, B&J are listening to Nixon resign on the radio, but the Criminologist says it was a "late November evening", so who knows.

Damn time warps.

I bow to your superior scholarship.

We all saw this coming
 

No sh!t.

Hmm. What will get people to drive to have Chinese food in the City of Industry? I know . . . .

I went to high school in the City of Industry, and also worked at the Kmart there. And I still didn't eat Chinese food there. Though I did sit on a toilet in the City of Industry (perhaps contimplating Chinese food while doing so, who knows). ;)

29 uses for sex toys as everyday items around the house (NSFW)

So Kevy, when ya booking your trip to Taiwan?
NSFW Deep Inside Taiwan’s First Sex-Themed Restaurant

"Deep inside" <-- I see what they did there.

Our local water commission wants to stop charging by the gallon used and instead start charging a flat monthly fee based on how large your meter is.

A flat fee for water. No extra charge based on how much you use.

What could go wrong with that?

How large your "meter" is? I assume you meant to type "peter." In that scenario, the customers all lie, and the town makes more money.

If I can save money... Toothpick.

I thought you were going to say that instead of charging by the gallon, they were going to charge by the teaspoon!

Not charging buy use seems pretty stupid. And unfair to those who conserve. As the saying goes "It's not the size of the meter that counts, it's how you use it!" That could be the new campaign slogan for the opposition.

It's still far from clear, but what they might be saying (or at least would seem to make some small amount of sense) is that rather than everyone from apartment dwellers to large factories paying the same cost per/gallon rate the amount you pay per/gallon will vary with the size of your meter, use more water pay more per gallon.

Still weird. Why would the size of the meter matter? Why not just have a tiered pricing scale based on usage?

0 to X gallons = A¢/gal
X+1 to Y gallons = B¢/gal
etc.

That's (sort of, ignoring the whole peak hours complication) how Edison handles electricity.

Otherwise someone who is in a small apartment with a small meter that leaves their shower running 24/7 would pay less than someone in a large house that conservatively uses the same amount of water.

Most apartments don't have individual meters. We're dealing with water usage issues at my HOA. The complex has one meter so there is no way to monitor individual usage. Putting in individual meters has been looked into but it's quite expensive.

Hey most of the city of Sacramento doesn't even have water meters at all. http://www.npr.org/2014/06/26/325760...ave-more-water

I don't either and it is ridiculous the amount of money I am charged per month on my water bill.

Our complex divvies the water bill up based on # of bedrooms. Which kind of isn't fair since Lani and I have a two bedroom with two people (and we do 50% of our showering at the gym) while the family across the hall has two bedroom and four people.

I don't care enough to complain about it but it seems an odd way to do it.

Oddly, at work, our electric rate is determined by the spike demand level each day. So when we start up our large press and it happens to occur at the same time the AC system kicks on, that is considered our power use rate for the day and that is what we are charged on (the whole day is charged at the usage rate of the spike).

Still shaking my head over that one

Seems like a good way to encourage better distribution of power usage to avoid peak-load on the infrastructure.

Not practical. It would be akin to telling a taxi driver to only drive when the traffic is the lightest.

The press runs 24 hours a day and by nature is regularly starting and stopping (it has to stop to change jobs, which can be from 3X to 20X or more per day).

Besides, it wouldn't make a difference when we put the peak load on: even if it was 3:00 in the morning, that spike would still be the rate our entire day would be based on.

The power company's would argue that, they must generate enough electricity to meet the spikes in your usage otherwise the local grid would come down whenever you hit one of your spikes which would probably be unacceptable to you and your neighbors. It's still difficult to store electricity with the current grid architecture.

Sooo...

We dropped Headliner off at College last weekend. So far this week, she has setup her Dorm room, written her first essay, picked up all her text books, made a dozen new friends, went through formal rush (which apparently is a really big deal in Texas), oh and got a paying intern job in her field of study. Girl is tearing it up and classes don't start for another week.

If she really picked up all of her books she's off to a bad start. Never buy your books before week 5 only after a class has proven it will actually make use of them and you haven't found a readily available alternative.

You end up never buying 80% of the books and the rest goes towards what college is really for: Spending all your excess money on stupid stuff.

Very nice, Moonie! Headliner is just embarking on a new and exciting portion of life that most look fondly upon for the rest of their lives! And may it go exceptionally well!!
:snap:

She is a freshman, she will figure that one out soon enough.

Go Headliner! Mine started today. So far she's made a new friend on facebook during class time so yea off to a good start. Oye.

But have you fulfilled your parental duty to guide her to this by saying "You should absolutely be buying every book and not saving the money and then spending it on stupid stuff! I forbid that!"

So why the heck is Labor Day a good time to buy a car or matress??? It seems every store and buisness is having a Labor Day sale.....:mad:

It makes not sense to me....:confused:

In the case of cars, the new model year (in this case, 2015) comes out soon (some have started already) and they want to clear out the previous model year before no one is interested and they lose more value.

Also, aren't mattresses ALWAYS on sale?

The boy starts in a month. So far he has picked the clubs he wants to join! Not so serious yet, I have hopes though!

I have also picked up another teenage son. oh well, the more the merrier! This one wants to be a chef. It is fun and a little frustrating sharing my kitchen for the first time.

I need a new mattress but am unsure which to go with....air, memory foam or good old box spring.

I have memory foam, and really like it. However, my wife like a firmer mattress than I do, and am considering a the Sleep Number for next time. I think they even offer it with a memory foam top if I'm not mistaken. The best of both worlds, perhaps. I have read some unpleasant reviews online (face it- only bad reviews make uit online 90% of the time) about water condisation on the outide of the mattress causing mold growth in humid areas of the country. So I'm not sure about that part...

To the swanky moms and dads of new college students, many hugs. And I never do hugs. Only for you.

To the swanky frosh, Facebook and alcohol do not mix.

On my unrealistically red hair (okay let's be honest, it's basically fuscia this time around)... I get quite a few compliments, but have received only two complaints. Neither complainant is under 70. That's probably a pretty solid record, yeah?

My stepmother was #2, today. Not too pleased about the backhanded dig she took. It was along the lines of "So are you going to change it before the CAR (organization my dad is involved with) dinner?"

You know, I was very seriously considering going brown soon, but suddenly I feel a lot less motivated to do so :evil:

That's like my dad asking me this (after not seeing him for several years as he lived in Oregon:

Dad "So when did you gain weight?"

Me "About the same time you lost your hair."

I didn't see him again for seven years.

Because he thought you'd eaten his hair?

You always were good at connecting the dots, Alex!