almost liked it better when I didnt know the price

Lazy Boy Crucifix

Maybe this will only appeal to geeks like me, but I think these are brilliant!
Bluetooth Handset Gloves

That seems like a horribly uncomfortable way to actually talk on the phone. Though amusing.

This is great. How about Uhura gloves, where the speaker is in the middle finger tip and the mic in lower palm? Or better, actual implants.

I don't want implants for that kind of thing.

I'll accept nanobots that hover around me and move into position when necessary.

I've always suspected that you were just a large nano-bot cluster.

That would explain a lot.