Dear Moonliner,

I think you are mistaken. She wasn't calling me Pookie. I know this because it wasn't my belly I was showing her this morning.

Dear Leo,

Ohhh baby!

Swoon,

Lisa

Dear Mr. Cricket,

I have no idea who you are and if you do not stop impersonating me, I will be forced to contact my lawyers.

If they fail to persuade you, SM and I will personally pay you a visit and teach you some respect. Remember, individually, SM and I are both a lot bigger than you. Our combined efforts would be devastating.

Signed,
The Actual Wally Szczerbiak

Dear cow-orkers:

Isn't it wonderful that our small-but-growing-fast Silicon Valley start-up provides free snacks? Wouldn't it be even more wonderful if most of you didn't have the manners of two-year-olds and actually cleaned up after yourselves, and closed or sealed the packages of the aforementioned snacks after removing the bits you want to eat? While we're at it, wouldn't it be still wonderfuller if you could understand that the doubly-aforementioned snacks are here for oll to enjoy, not just you (and you know who you are), and for you to refrain from taking every single one of the FunSize™ Twix and KitKat bars as soon as they come in?

Your annoyed co-worker,

Andrew

Dear LoT:

Anyone have an update on how our little Snowflake is doing?

Dear Zapppop,

Have you made preparations for the big day? Do you expect that it'll be a squeaker, or perhaps a silent one, or will that be a surprise even to you? Will you be using any performance enchancing substances, such as beans, egg salad, or chili?

I wish you luck in this, your latest venture.

Signed,
GD

Dear Scaeagles,
(And anyone else who happens to be 37)
I dont know about you, but I am not ready to be called middle aged. I have a hard enough time convincing people of my age, esp that it stretches past 30.

Please speak for yourself. :p

(Though I understand your argument. How's about we just say the median age is 90?)

~Ponine

Dear GD,

I have it on good authority that Zapppop is planning a 'run for the Border' in the very near future. I suspect this will greatly influence the outcome of his ......production. For the first time, I do not mind being in Spokane during a LoT event.

Yours, etc,
Wendy

Dear Ponine,

I have it on good authority that the median age for women is 110.

Love,

9 more years.

Dear Telemarketer,

No I don't want to know anything about a dentist in my area. And since I've hung up on you, oh say 100 times in the last week perhaps you would get the point that I don't want to.

And to the automated recording that has been calling every line in my office for months saying "Oh I'm sorry I dialed the wrong number" what the freck is your purpose? You don't even try to sell me anything. You do nothing but annoy the crap out of me.

Signed,
Annoyed Assistant