OMG, you guys, look at these awesome Fraggle costumes an acquaintance and her hubby wore!

This might seem harsh on my part, and I'll fully admit that my feelings have been hurt from not being invited to certain things in the past, even though I understand that only so many people can fit in a place, etc. However, I do not make a point to voice my hurt feelings to the host(s), simply because I know how they feel, from having hosted my own parties where I couldn't invite everyone. The feeling of guilt is already there. There's no reason to wrap it in neon lights and make them feel worse.

And, I also wouldn't want the host(s) and party invitees to not share pictures and talk about the fun, because I still enjoy hearing about the good times, even when I wasn't there.

Eh... if you weren't invited, there was probably a reason. And that reason had nothing to do with how much space was available.

Just accept that no one likes you.

OMG, those are AWESOME.

I just want to go from party to party, hugging people in Muppet costumes. Hugging the 4 Muppets in attendance had such a warm, fuzzy nostalgia to it.

I haven't made much of a secret that my feelings were hurt a lot. On the one hand, I'm glad it was a splendid party that was enjoyed by all who attended. On the other hand, it also feels like so many LoT folks were invited that it was a de facto LoT swanking - only there were just a very few local "regulars" who were not invited. I'm trying to be grown up about it and recognize that much of my emotional response stems from facing down my first set of birthday/winter holidays as a transplant - without my mommy - and I'm already feeling very lonely. But, it still feels an awful lot like deliberate exclusion. I'm trying to control those feelings, but I'm generally less successful than I'd like.

Maybe I'm just backwards, but never expcect to be invited to anything. When it happens I'm thrilled.

And like Disneyphile I love to see all the photos and reports on all the shennanigans.

I'm used to not being included. I've never been part of the "in" crowd, anywhere.

My feelings are never hurt, I live too far to be invited to any thing. And I only visit the folks down south once or twice a year. I love it when everyone shares pictures.

Prudence, I have to tell you I felt it was in part incumbent upon me to invite you and your very nice bf as a welcoming gesture. I'm glad you guys live here, I look forward to seeing you at many events and perhaps becoming friends.

BUT ... i could not see how I could invite you while at the same time not being able to invite a good many people I have friendships with, feel true affection for, and have spent a whole lot more time with developing those friendships and that affection.

In the end, I decided such a friendly gesture could not be managed without hurting other people's feelings who thus would have been excluded on the basis that they did not just move to Los Angeles.


As Morrigoon pointed out, deference was given to people who have attended this event in the past (albeit only once) and then, yes, to people I feel particularly close to. There had to be some kind of fuzzy cut-off line. A few of the LoT folk I invited were unable to make it.


If I did not invite you, it most certainly doesn't mean I don't like you. But I hope you know whether or not we hang out together or have a deepish connection. Since the guest list was limited, those are the people I invited.


I can only hope such choices become even harder for me in the future, because I have become closer to more and more of my friends. I should only have such problems!


In the meanwhile, my regrets for any slights, or hurt feelings. I know emotions are what they are, and they sometimes sting. My sorry.

Some times you have to make your own "in" crowd. I was invited to this one so maybe my opinion doesn't count, but I much prefer the public acknowledgment of an event than to have it be covered up.

The unfortunate reality is that whether by restricted guest list, economics, geography, or the physics of time and space, we're all going to miss out on stuff. I love hearing about what everyone does - unless it's staying home a moping. Make your own fun and people will want to join you.