Snakes!
 

Sometimes, when you move to a house that's off the beaten path and off a dirt road, you wake up in the middle of the night, all beary eyed and not really paying attention until you SEE A MOTHER FARKING SNAKE in the MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM! !!!!!

OMFG!

And the your husband can't seem to hear you yelling at him from the other room to get the snake... GET THE SNAKE!!!

So - like a strong modern woman, I threw a shoe at it to hold it down briefly, ran to the kitchen to get some tongs, picked up the snake with the tongs, dropped it, picked it up again, ran to the front door in my underwear and a tank top, opened the front door and flung it into the yard as far as I could. In my underwear, that was the best I could do.

Looked it up online this morning and it appears to have been a baby (about 12" long) king snake. It was black with white stripes. I can only wonder where Mom might be.

WTF!!! I don't remember agreeing to snakes in my living room in the middle of the night.


Photo of the snake looked like (not of actual snake I found)

Very brave of you to show that critter whose boss.


That request (especially in the middle of the night) could be easily misinterpreted.

Well thanks - but it wasn't because of bravery. If I didn't get him out, I would know there was a snake loose in the house. I would have never been able to go back to sleep.

Still - I went back to bed and it kept me up for awhile. where is the Mom? How did he get in? What else can get in? How long has it been in the house? What's that feeling near my feet under the sheet? What was that noise?

California Kingsnake. Quite harmless.

I'd have invited him to stay as a pet.

If it really was 12" inches long then it is a young snake but unless it hatched way out of season it has probably been out and about on its own for nine months or so (kingsnakes generally hatch late summer/early fall) so you probably don't need to worry about a mom being around (plus, though I don't know for sure that this is true of kingsnakes, parental care is uncommon among snakes). If it was a recent hatchling you should be more concerned about the fact that there were probably another 5-15 eggs (oops, that probably didn't help).

Do you have a dog?

If so, we've had good luck with rattlesnake training (for the protection of the dog)

We have a Jack Russel. If this had happened in our house my biggest problem would have been scraping snake guts off the floor.

Fvck you!

I know that's rude and all - but come on. That's NOT helpful at all. OMG. 5-15 eggs. WTF!

I suspect this might be because 1. my husband moved some large logs near the back of our yard - found a large, similar looking snake, freaked out, and left them and then 2. we put up an above ground pool yesterday, found it wasn't level enough and had to drain it. it wasn't full - but still - might have disturbed some habitat.

I figured he wasn't harmless or I wouldn't have been so brave. No rattles but I still wasn't picking him up.

We've got 2 chihuahua's. One that sleeps in a box in the living room that's our little princess girl. I think a grown up version of the snake might be big enough to eat her. My bigger chi sleeps with my daughter and would have probably played with the snake all night if he'd have found it.

But seriously, this snake didn't hatch last week. There isn't a colony of them out there. They don't live in clans or hunt in packs.

Unless something unusual has happened, this is an isolated occurrence.

And if you run into another one, unless you are comfortable picking them up safely you probably still shouldn't. Kingsnakes are harmless in that they can't do you any real damage but if you piss them off and give them the opportunity they will bite (I've been bitten several times though the only scar is from a garter snake) and that can hurt like hell (though poses no real risk).


And apologies for teasing. I was unsure of your level of serious paranoia and know better than to make like of it and shouldn't have done so.

A full size kingsnake is not big enough to eat any size of dog. Most top out at around 4 feet long and no more than a couple inches wide (yes, they can expand a surprising amount but not enough for a dog at any size). The one I used to have was on the larger size and wouldn't even eat rats, had to stick to mice.