Shït My Dad Says
 

This is, hands down, the funniest Twitter feed I've read*.
Unfortunately, because there's a "naughty" word in the URL, you're going to have to tweak it manually. Copy this:
http://twitter.com/shïtmydadsays
and change the "ï" to an "i".





*never mind that it's the only I read, it's still funny dammit!

Here are a few of my faves:

"Nobody is that important. They eat, shït, and screw, just like you. Maybe not shït like you, you got those stomach problems."

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fück it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fücking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fücking."

"You're gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shït comes out of it."

"I think the baby shït....Well, I'm smelling shït right now, so if it ain't the baby, one of you has a big fücking problem."

"Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shïtty."

"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."

"It's just a fücking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shïts in something, you own it. Remember that."

Justin, you worthless piece of sh!t.


Awesome.

"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."

Im lovin this guy

and my current fave, just for LoT

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."

Now I know it's fake. Nobody says they cooked too much bacon.

It's definitely my favorite Twitter feed. :)

WTG Justin!

I see, so it'll turn out that "Justin" is the guy playing the character in the TV show and this has all just been a viral marketing campaign to garner interest in the show.

God, I can be cynical sometimes...

Oh man. I feel so used now...

Anyone who spends their time writing the tweets that this guy's been writing (while I don't doubt his dad says some funny sh!t, I also don't doubt that he's been consciously rephrasing/paraphrasing/fabricating to make it funnier) is obviously a wannabe writer. He got noticed.

I doubt the show existed as a CBS property before Justin started tweeting. I don't know if "TV show" was in his plans the whole time, but I never assumed it was anything other than a guy writing funny stuff in an effort to gain attention for himself. If that's "just" a "viral marketing campaign"...whatever. Was it funny? Yes. Was I entertained by it? Yes. That's all I really care about.

Dude, I love this. Followed and recommended to fellow Twits.

The best kind of "ad" morphs from "ad" to "entertainment". :snap:

Now don't get me wrong - I think the tweets are funny, and I can see them adapted to a TV show very easily (and one I would most likely watch, too), but my discontent basically comes from the fact that we are now being manipulated so much by things claiming to be something innocent (ie an amateur broadcast/tweet/etc) when in fact they're trying to make us watch something - why the masquerade? If they said - "here's some clips / dialogue from the upcoming show '**** my dad says'" I'd still find it just as funny. (case in point - Balloon Boy being an attempt to get that family on another reality show or that girl who did the youtube blogs and everyone was really entranced by her, and it turned out she was a NZ actress and it was all scripted - I've forgotten her name already, so that one didn't work.)

That's assuming that this was a pre-show campaign, which there's no proof of as yet. So I'll hop off my vegemite crate for now. :D

BTW: I'm working on a YouTube cooking channel for myself, so watch this space. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.