Snakes!
 

Sometimes, when you move to a house that's off the beaten path and off a dirt road, you wake up in the middle of the night, all beary eyed and not really paying attention until you SEE A MOTHER FARKING SNAKE in the MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM! !!!!!

OMFG!

And the your husband can't seem to hear you yelling at him from the other room to get the snake... GET THE SNAKE!!!

So - like a strong modern woman, I threw a shoe at it to hold it down briefly, ran to the kitchen to get some tongs, picked up the snake with the tongs, dropped it, picked it up again, ran to the front door in my underwear and a tank top, opened the front door and flung it into the yard as far as I could. In my underwear, that was the best I could do.

Looked it up online this morning and it appears to have been a baby (about 12" long) king snake. It was black with white stripes. I can only wonder where Mom might be.

WTF!!! I don't remember agreeing to snakes in my living room in the middle of the night.


Photo of the snake looked like (not of actual snake I found)

Very brave of you to show that critter whose boss.


That request (especially in the middle of the night) could be easily misinterpreted.

Well thanks - but it wasn't because of bravery. If I didn't get him out, I would know there was a snake loose in the house. I would have never been able to go back to sleep.

Still - I went back to bed and it kept me up for awhile. where is the Mom? How did he get in? What else can get in? How long has it been in the house? What's that feeling near my feet under the sheet? What was that noise?

California Kingsnake. Quite harmless.

I'd have invited him to stay as a pet.

If it really was 12" inches long then it is a young snake but unless it hatched way out of season it has probably been out and about on its own for nine months or so (kingsnakes generally hatch late summer/early fall) so you probably don't need to worry about a mom being around (plus, though I don't know for sure that this is true of kingsnakes, parental care is uncommon among snakes). If it was a recent hatchling you should be more concerned about the fact that there were probably another 5-15 eggs (oops, that probably didn't help).

Do you have a dog?

If so, we've had good luck with rattlesnake training (for the protection of the dog)

We have a Jack Russel. If this had happened in our house my biggest problem would have been scraping snake guts off the floor.

Fvck you!

I know that's rude and all - but come on. That's NOT helpful at all. OMG. 5-15 eggs. WTF!

I suspect this might be because 1. my husband moved some large logs near the back of our yard - found a large, similar looking snake, freaked out, and left them and then 2. we put up an above ground pool yesterday, found it wasn't level enough and had to drain it. it wasn't full - but still - might have disturbed some habitat.

I figured he wasn't harmless or I wouldn't have been so brave. No rattles but I still wasn't picking him up.

We've got 2 chihuahua's. One that sleeps in a box in the living room that's our little princess girl. I think a grown up version of the snake might be big enough to eat her. My bigger chi sleeps with my daughter and would have probably played with the snake all night if he'd have found it.

But seriously, this snake didn't hatch last week. There isn't a colony of them out there. They don't live in clans or hunt in packs.

Unless something unusual has happened, this is an isolated occurrence.

And if you run into another one, unless you are comfortable picking them up safely you probably still shouldn't. Kingsnakes are harmless in that they can't do you any real damage but if you piss them off and give them the opportunity they will bite (I've been bitten several times though the only scar is from a garter snake) and that can hurt like hell (though poses no real risk).


And apologies for teasing. I was unsure of your level of serious paranoia and know better than to make like of it and shouldn't have done so.

A full size kingsnake is not big enough to eat any size of dog. Most top out at around 4 feet long and no more than a couple inches wide (yes, they can expand a surprising amount but not enough for a dog at any size). The one I used to have was on the larger size and wouldn't even eat rats, had to stick to mice.

Why the hell am I reading this thread. I hate snakes more than I hate clowns.

Betty you did better than I would. No way in hell would I go near that thing with tongs.

No worries. I'm actually rather proud of myself for handling it. From what I hear from a guy in the office, king snakes are good to have around. I won't have a rattlesnake problem.

Just stay out of my house thank you very much.

Should I find another one in the future, if I pick him up behind the head he can't get me - right?

I picked up garter snakes as a kid so I know I can do it... just not in underwear perhaps. ;)

Snakes! Agh!
Congrats for taking care of it, Betty.
Yikes. I wouldn't have done that, I think...
I think I would have called the police... or called a SWAT team in...

But the snake would have crawled into my shoes and bed and toilet by then and we'd all be dead or eaten or molested by snakes! ;)

I probably would have gone the route of throwing as large a container as I could find over top of it and either hope to somehow slide a lid underneath or put some books on top and figure out how to deal with it in the morning. Yikes.

True. If it was me, I guess I would have just torched my house. It would surely be killed then.
:D

I say we take off and Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

F*ckin' A!

Yes, if you get a good grip then holding it right behind the head will keep you safe. But you can't freak out when it starts tangling itself around your arm, which it will do (they're constrictors after all); plus once it's wrapped around your arm and you're holding its head letting go isn't all that easy.

Grab a pillow case
Use the tongs again since that worked for you already
Put snake in pillow case
Tie pillow case closed
Transport snake a fair distance from your house (you don't want it just coming right back in)
Pour snake out of pillowcase in area with some cover it can hide in.

Yes, kingsnakes are very good snakes to have around as they pose no danger to pets and people and eat rodents and occasional rattlesnakes (they're immune to rattlesnake venom). But don't rely on them to keep rattlesnakes away, while they will kill and eat them, I don't believe they primarily prey on them.

Yes - I think I'd like to pass on the snake wrapping itself around my arm - thank you.

So - it won't, you know, bite me through the flimsy fabric of the pillow case?

No, in fact once it is encased in the pillow case it'll generally just sit there calmly, especially when it is hanging in the air.

But carry it with outstretched arm by the knotted top if it makes you feel better and it won't be able to bite you even if it wants to.

Again, kingsnakes aren't poisonous so generally they aren't looking to bite anything except as a mechanism to get a good grip for wrapping and strangling. When it can't do the latter, it generally won't do the former.

If I were in the house trying to remove it I would just grab it by the tail and drag it backwards quickly (the snake is going to be busy trying to go in the direction opposite of the pull) outside but if you're afraid of them you're likely to have a mini-freakout once you've got a hold of it.

Napalm solves all problems!

Speaking of snakes....

Did anyone see the recent Selma Hayak snake encounter?

It makes one wonder how she managed to do her famous snake dance.

Note: Second link mildly NSFW

And both links NSFBTD

Technically, the first link is snake free.

True, but those ladies are acting like clowns.

Apparently the snake scene with Salma Hayek took a lot of prep work and cajoling and whatnot.

That said, if you have a fear of snakes there's a big difference between a known encounter in the future you can prep for and knowing a handler is nearby and the snake will be kept cold so it is sedentary vs. one just wandering by as you're sitting there.

I feel bad that was aired. Irrational is irrational, it's not that funny to me.

I think you should put that snake in a box and put that box inside another box and mail that box to yourself and when it arrives you smash it with a hammer!

Pull the lever GC

Technically this entire thread is not safe for BTD. Yet here I am reading it.

God, Salma is HOT!

I think the Salma video shows the appropriate protocol for dealing with a snake you encounter while just wearing your underwear.

OMFG, Betty.

*thud*

LOL. I'm now bragging about the time I battled a snake in my house in the middle of the night in my underwear and came out victorious! ta-da! ;)

I didn't realize the snake was wearing your underwear. :eek:

Eek indeed and I will never wear that pair again! ;)