What to wear for a wedding?
 

We're attending a wedding in Boston in mid-September. (Not summer weather, not freezing either.) GD is a groomsman so he's wearing a tux. I'm not in the wedding party. It's an afternoon wedding. This friend of ours isn't usually about formality, so I know it won't be super uptight, but nice.

I bought a dress but I'm having second thoughts. Here's a bad photo of me in it while in the fitting room. Spoilered for size.


While the pattern seems dressy enough to me, the fabric and shape are still on the casual side. I'm beginning to worry it won't look nice enough next to a tux.

What do you guys think? It's easy enough to dress for an evening wedding but afternoon ones throw me for a loop. Any other dress advice?

No piccy. Or is this one of those "can't be seen by fools" deals?

Will the afternoon wedding lead into an evening reception? If so, dress as you would for an evening wedding. Of course, I'm not all that fashion savvy, so, grain of salt and all.

I can't see the picture either. But I understand East Coast weddings are much more formal than West Coast so I'd err on the side of formal.

Its the Emperor's New Dress

Sorry about that, here's the pic.

you could easily dress it up with acessories and maybe a jacket.

Hard to tell from the picture.

But since it inspired a heartfelt "huh!?" reaction, I'm going to question the premise of the question: that any of you--but especially you, newish mom--should fly cross country to attend the wedding of someone who, jumping to conclusions, I will guess is some serial monogamist in his thirties.

Now if this guy is like, say, Marty, never had a date in high school or college, seemed doomed to be alone, but ultimately fell in love with some wallflower at the dance hall, then, yes, it's a joyous occasion and spare no expense. But otherwise--send a gift and a telegram.

Personally (and I may be dating myself), any New England wedding after Labor Day, even in the afternoon, calls for something a bit formal - and that's not even counting that your escort is wearing a tuxedo.

You're young, so you don't have to go stodgy. But Boston is not L.A.

It's a cute dress (why can't I see it in FF... only in IE...) for cocktails but I'm thinking not really east coast wedding appropriate especially if GD will be in a tux.

Do you have a black structured jacket you could wear with it? The dress is nice, would have fit in perfectly at the wedding I just came from. And the jacket might make the difference between a California wedding and an East Coast one. Especially paired with heels.

How about some sort of fun retro styled dress or something like this:

I love these shoes

I am with Betty, patterns are not much worn for social occasions in the east, I would say knee length or longer, soft color silk or the like, no bare arms, stockings and heels. You have such a lovely figure, something constructed would be charming on you!. And remember you can always hire a gown if it is not your kind of thing.

I love your dress. Then again, I am totally Californian.

I have heard, though, some comments from some Easterners at a wedding here in Coronado. Some 22 years ago. Anyways, they were totally like, I think BTD was saying, 'It is *blah blah* time of the year, you wouldn't see people on the East Coast wearing that this time of year'. So.....I don't know what 'so'. :0)

Is this the situation where the little black dress would work? But, what material? Geesh, does it matter what type of jewelry? Is black not doable?

Jen, I hope you have a great trip, the wedding is just a part of it. :0)

Oh, I love the clothes you've posted, Betty!!!

Go Skyclad.

I've no opinion but wouldn't the easiest option, compared to us guessing be to email a link to that photo to the bride and say "I'm not entirely sure how formal you want to be and don't have Greg to match levels with, do you think this is nice or are you expecting something more formal?"

Well as long as we're posting fashions, this would look lovely on you. And that site offers custom sizing if you prefer (extra fee)

Morrigoon, that is lovely! What, though, about the bare arms? Do shawls/wraps still work?

Alex. That is just way too simple. But, I am not sure, I think that part of the fun is surprising everyone there with what you are wearing. And, carrying it off as if 'Oh, this? ' and have it look like it is no big deal.

Am I way off base?

I'm pretty sure that traditionally it is only the bridesmaids who are seeking to surprise the bride with what they wear to the wedding.

Mousewife: Well, I'm no east-coaster, but I would think it would be fine. That, or a simple bolero?

I'm sure the bride would say "whatever you wear is fine" since they are laid-back people (and they'd know I wouldn't dress like a total slob).

I don't want to wear a little black dress. I feel it wouldn't be good for an afternoon wedding (even east coast). Besides, I like color.

After looking at these suggestions and thinking about having to shop for structured jacket or other accessories I'm thinking I want a more formal look.

Hmm, this really might be a good time to try out eShakti - thanks for the link, Morrigoon. :)

Nope, not for the afternoon, agreed.

Alex, you are too funny! Now, that would be a really brave bride to let her bridesmaids show up in whatever they wanted. ;0) Or some mean bridesmaids.

Morri, good idea. :0)

Susan is a bridesmaid in a wedding this weekend and she gets to wear whatever she wants.

But it is a renewal of vows (for the couple's anniversary). In Las Vegas. At the Elvis Wedding Chapel. So I don't think she is all that worried about what Susan is wearing.

Ah, I'd read your question as the OP as essentially "do you think this will be dressy enough for the bride and groom." But if it was more "do you think this will be dressy enough for the other guests" then I fall back to having no opinion. I have one suit. That is what gets worn if I am in a dress nice environment, and I hardly never notice what anybody else is wearing. For my and Lani's wedding the three guests were wearing dirty clothes since they'd just come in off the playa doing prep work for Burning Man.

Just because we live on the east coast doesn't mean we dress like Amish people.

The dress you selected would be fine I think, but you'll need some kind of cardigan or something to keep from getting too chilly in the evening.

Afternoon wedding = evening party, really.

You could pull off your dress with a striking black wrap and some dazzling jewelry, I'm sure. Don't worry about overthinking it. But if your impulses are telling you strongly that you should be more dressed up, go more dressed up. :)

Actually it doesn't seem like it will be an evening party at all (no meal, hors d'oeuvres only). Then there will be an afterparty elsewhere which will more than likely be very much informal/dance party as the bride and groom are into that "rave music" the kids seem to like.

So I feel that means definitely err on the side afternoon vs. evening, though that doesn't preclude dressed up.

I totally think the dress will work perfectly with a simple black wrap/shawl and some nice shoes. :)

Well, if it is a rave then nude, strung out, and a pacifier lollipop seems the way to go.

Or is that only Burning Man rave?

What the hell are you doing in this thread??

I'm considering this again because I didn't know it was just hors d'oeuvers, and a dance party afterwards.

Hmm, the dress has brown tones, so I'm not sure black would work well with it...

If I hadn't misunderstood the specific angle of your original question I assure you I wouldn't have been in here.

maybe then a dark brown wrap/shoes?

There's a vast difference between a bit more formal and Amish.

I just find it amusing that everyone is making such a big deal about how they don't know if it will work on the east coast.

Go for a nice dress in a more neutral tone. I would suggest something with a sleeve.

I say go with your gut. If you feel under-dressy, you'll be under-dressy just because that's how you feel, even if you're totally fine.

Most weddings I've been to are attended by a mixture of people wearing casual pretty and ridiculously dressy. I mean, ball gown dressy at a wedding that isn't listed as black tie. I've worn conservative looking grey frocks and a very lively multi-colored dress with bare arms. The only rule I know is "don't wear white". Heh.

I've seen no difference in the way people dress at east coast vs west coast weddings. Most people blend in, some people should have set aside their flip flops and some shouldn't have tried to compete with the bride. And I've seen lovely strapless and no-sleeve dresses/tops that looked great and were not at all a problem.

Everyone is looking at the wedding party folk, anyway. I say wear what you think is flattering, comfortable, and stylish.

..

I asked my bridesmaids to wear something green, their discretion.

OOooohhhh!!!! We need to do that.

*Which* Elvis wedding chapel? :)

I should probably find out before Saturday, dontcha think?

Psh, Amish east coasters. ;)

If I do stick to the dress it was my plan all along to wear a wrap/jacket, but it turned out that the ones I have at home aren't nice enough.

See, that's the complication, because I'll be there with a wedding party person, being seen with them.

hmmmmmm

Then by all means Ball Gown ... hoop skirt, of course.

I still say just wear the dress with a nice wrap.

People are going to remember the wedding as, "Wow. The bride looked so lovely! Such a happy couple" and not "OMG! Did you see the groomsman's wife? A printed sleeveless style under a wrap? What was she thinking?"

Pretty much, unless you come dressed in white or wearing hooker attire, no one is even going to give a rat's ass about what you're wearing.

Seriously. If you like it, wear it.

In fact, wear a rat's ass!

Do you have one? I can give you mine.

:snap:
:D

When I screwed up the timing on something else I wanted to do today, I decided to hit the mall instead to find either a wrap or another dress. Before I could nail anything down my Theo countdown timer expired and we had to head home.

I think I'll stick to internet shopping.

I think Theo is telling you that you look gorgeous in that dress. ;)

Well, she does...

I guess I don't consider that being a member. I've been a groomsman's date and never dressed as formal as him.

I keep drooling over their stuff, but haven't bought from them yet. However, my friend (PrincessDala on here) raves about them, especially the custom sizing service.

Wear that print dress, CP. It's divine.

Ok....so I did more shopping and the more I wore that dress to try with jackets and wraps the less I liked the dress. The pic doesn't really show it, but the top just isn't made for someone with my bust and it is not flattering at all. I love the print but the shape really isn't for me.

Instead I ended up at Nordstrom Rack and found a more formal look that fit perfectly, flattered me in all the right places, was a good deal AND came with a sleeved shrug. Guess I should get a picture.

BTW, to everyone who thinks that because I'm skinny I can wear anything...my list has been shortened significantly by childbearing. :p

Don't give up, there's still time to get a new bust!

Hey, did your feet grow? It's only now - which is 18 years later - that mine are almost back to pre-baby 8 1/2.

Bigger bust or bust?

Nope, my feet didn't grow. I just have a little poochy belly that doesn't work in sheath dresses anymore.

Guess I should be working out, but I have never been good at keeping that up.