Wifey still in the hospital
 

I thought it might be time to start a thread for this.

Teresa (we call her T) is still in ICU, intubated. She has broncitis and a fungal infection in her lungs that is keeping her airways tight and fragil, so they aren't removing the breathing tubes. They will test daily to see if the swelling goes down enough to remove the tubes.

When I took her in on mother's day, she had renal failure, was badly dehydrated, her Co2 levels were way high & o2 levels low (hence the intubation) and her liver function was slightly bad. But now all of that is good, we are just waiting on the broncial swelling to go down.

But if removing the tubes doesn't happen on Monday or Tuesday, she will not be able to attend our daughter's wedding. This day is extremely important to her. She is being treated for depression and anxiety, and I'm very afraid of what this will do to her if she misses it.

There will be films and pictures, but it's not the same. We thought about taking her to the vinue Grand Tradition Estate after she is better, so she could see it for herself in person, and get pictures with our daughter in her gown there. This may ease the pain a bit. Maybe....

Also, if she is off the ventilator, but unable to leave the hospital, I was considering if she would be able to watch it live, like on skype or something. I have no idea how that works, though. Also, I'm not sure if that will only make her more sad that she's not there. But I think if she is awake it's the best idea. Any great tech ideas on how to make this work? She has a laptop, but I'm not sure how to get it online from her room.

Any other ideas?

I'm still holding out hope, but at this point it's not looking good. And I'm worried it may cast a dark shadow over my daughter's happy day, she is already freaking about it. I need to try to salvage this the best I can....

I also want to thank you all for your support thus far. It's been a true blessing to me!

I would say Skyping is better than missing. But practice the setup before the big day so you have all the kinks ironed out

You'll need internet on both ends, course. Someone at the wedding will need a laptop or smart phone and will need to be responsible for making sure it's pointed in the right direction.

Is it possible her photographer is a videographer that can stream it live?

Google + is another way to stream video. You should try both and see which one gives you a better picture and sound.

Make lots of preperations so you won't need to use them. (because it's a sort of talisman - like when I off roading with the family and bring water and food for days and an extra pair of shoes if I wear sandals, etc. If I don't do those things, I'll need them for sure.)

I assume this has been considered, but I'll put it out there anyway: postpone the wedding.

I truly hope your wife gets better.

I really hope they can get that infection under control so she doesn't have to miss the wedding. Definitely do trial runs with skype or whatever so you are confident it will run smoothly.
**hugs** and good mojo for all of you until she's better.

I'm not sure how far the venue is from the hospital but could the bride and groom (and close family or whoever you want) come to her room and get married there. Then go onto the actual wedding? That way she is a part of it.

I'd definitely test the skype thing. You need a pretty clear signal. We tried to set it up for our class reunion and had all kinds of issues getting enough signal for it to work.

I'm so sorry this is happening. I hope she recovers enough to make it, even for a short time if she gets tired.

Great idea!

Thank you for the suggestions. The venue is near San Diego, and the hospital is in Orange, and the wedding is at 10 in the morning. The rehearsal is Friday afternoon and we will be staying down there. There is no way to make a 5 hour round trip before 10 am. And postponing the wedding would cost 5 figures, not to mention people flying in from out of state in a few days. We are struggling to put this together, and it just would not be possible.

We have a professional photographer, but we are doing the video recording ourselves.

I will talk to Grand Traditon Estate, the hospital, and even the photographer (maybe he done this before). I'm sure this sort of thing has come up before at these places. The problems are the internet connections. Grand Tradition is so far out in the boonies that they don't even get mail delivery. The wedding will be outdoors, at the lakeside gazeebo, pretty far from the buildings. The Medical ICU rooms at the hospital may not have WiFi or any kind of internet hook ups, but St. Joseph Hospital does have a computer room downstairs with internet if she is off the ventilator and has a hospital escort, so that might be an idea. And I'm sure I can get someone to point the camera for us to stream it. And I'm just talking about the main part of the wedding, so it won't be very long.

My wife and I don't have a smart phone, but if they have a good signal at the location, we might be able to use someones phones. The picture is kind of small, but if that's all we can do, it will do.

We could possibly run through a test durring rehearsal. This tech stuff seems so complicated to do last minute, but with everything that's happening it's hard to plan. She may be able to go, she may be awake but not able to go, or she may still be sedated. We just don't know.....

Could she be transferred to a closer hospital for a couple days?

Here's hoping she is able to attend in person, but if not we WILL MAKE this work for her.

I can FedEx you a Laptop with a 4G Verizon MiFi (a portable hot spot) for use the hospital end. Can anyone work out the equipment for the wedding end?

I was with Katiesue on this - no possibility of getting the bride and groom to mom's room at any point before the ceremony and justice of the peacing it? I wish I had tech skillz and could help, but I have none. Good luck!

I can use my daughter's laptop with built in camera & wifi at the wedding, and my wife can use her laptop at the hospital. I just don't know about what kind of wifi service will be avail, and how to do a skype or which ever method we use. I'm still working on that stuff. In my spare time.....

Today she failed the leak test again. So now we wait until tomorrow to try it again. As of today I put her odds of making the wedding at 60%. Tomorrow would be 50%, and so on until she get's off of the ventilator. If she isn't off the ventilator on thur. then it's 0%. :(

Thanks, Moonie!

I'm not technical either but happy to help where I can. I'm hoping she gets off the ventilator.

I hope she can make the wedding and if not that you can work something out for her. I'm still hoping for the best!

Star, prayrrs for you and your wife. Moonie, you rock.

The webcam on most Laptops sucks rocks, primarily because they are designed as close focus face chat devices. You would be better off with an Android cell phone with Google+ video chat on the wedding side.

I hadn't thought about the webcam quality. It would be so jearky looking, too. I'm not sure which smart phones people have (I don't have one yet, but I'm considering it soon after the wedding), but I'll check.

Thanks again!

Oh, RStar. I am sorry this is happening to your family.

Keep this as simple and zen as you can.

If T can't make the actual wedding, have a second, smaller celebration when she is able to enjoy it.

Breathe. It's going to be okay. In a few years, it's going to make a great family story.

Oh, boy. My thoughts are with you on this big day. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.

I'm hoping T can enjoy a big slice of wedding cake very soon.

Your pal,
Helen

Thanks Helen.

I just talked to the nurse, they did the leak test again, and found no improvement. There has been no improvement the past few days, so this looks pretty bad. Not only because she will most likely not make the wedding now unless there is a sudden miracle, but also because after a few more days they will be putting her on a conection through her trachia. While some people can still heal and get off the ventilator after this, most do not. She is now facing the possibility of being on a ventilator the rest of her life. I don't know what I'm going to do if that happends! :( :(

I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you, T and the rest of your family.

:( :( :( :( plus prayers, hope, love vibes, healing vibes, and peace vibes.

I'll second that.

Strength RStar - I send you all mine and hope everything improves.

Prayers and Positive Vibes are on their way.

For the video feed any old video camera connected to the laptop will work and give you better video feed

A big bouquet of hugs to you and your family, Keep us posted?

Oh man, I'm sorry to read this. More vibes, prayers and mojo heading your way RStar. HUGS

You're in our thoughts and prayers, RStar. :Hugs:

Thanks guys. :snap:

Best of luck to you, RStar.

Thinking of you guys. Hoping a miracle happens.

Simple - you will do the same as you are doing now - be a loving and supporting partner, with the support of your friends here on LoT. :snap:

Amazing how one finds inner strength when one needs to. But know you're not alone.

Hugs from the LashPair.

Best thoughts!!!

After talking to the Doctors last night, they say they are scratching their collective heads over this one. They have no idea why the swelling isn't going down. They fact that they don't know what it is worries me, but the fact that all of the signs point to the fact that there is nothing seriously wrong and there should be no reason that she can't eventually get off the ventilator is encouraging. But it's a given that she will not be able to attend the wedding. I feel like I'm living a Greek tragedy.

At this point, we don't know if she will be off of the ventilator, but I have someone lined up to help her be able to watch it live via skype if she is. I hope so, because if she wakes up to find that she missed the whole thing, it's going to be even worse. She will be absolutely devastated. So hopefully, she'll at least be able to watch it.

I'm waiting for word on her leak test this morning. They started another round of steroids yesterday, even more aggressive than the last. Maybe that will do it. If not, the doctor will contact an ENT (ears, nose, & throat) specialist today to see if he can help figure this out.

Thank you all again!

Sending good thoughts your way. I hope they figure it out quickly.

Ok, the leak test finally showed inprovements today. They will be putting the ventilator on test mode so she breathes on her own for a while, and she is half awake so they can eval her neurological state. It's a step in the right direction! :)

Also, I checked with the wedding venue, and the wifi won't reach to the gazebo. Any ideas how to stream a video live with out wifi?

I think you can use a mobile hot spot.

Good mojo to you that things keep moving in the right direction.
:)

Well, okey-dokey!

Guess what? Go ahead, guess!









That's right, she's off of the ventilator! She's awake, telling jokes, and eating ice chips! Just this morning they were saying she's looking better, butnot enough. After 11 days in ICU on intubation the doctor pretty much ruled out anything major, so some improvevment and decided to take the window to try it. After 14 days they figure the chance of getting someone off of it starts rapidly declining. They say there's even a small chance she could make the wedding. Yesterday I was thinking there was no chance at all. The nice thing is, if she keeps this up, and even if she doesn't make the wedding, the festivities will be much more festive. :D

LoT vibes do work! Thank you all!

WOOHOO!!!!! That's fantastic news!

As for wifi in the gazebo, if they get Verizon data service out there Moonie said he'd hook you up with a MiFi. It works as a portable hotspot.

This is a wonderful update!

So happy to see some good news here!

Awesome!!! The power of LoT. Smiles all around and general rejoicing Star. :D

Yay!

Lot vibes DO work!

I'm so happy for you and your family... Chills of joy!! ... just thrilled!

She did great through the night. She spent a good part of it crying because she is worried that she will miss the wedding. She is so weak that she can't even touch her head, so I don't think she will be able to go. And again, with the emotional problems she has been dealing with the past 6 years, missing it will devastate her.

But as we have seen things can change in an instant. We were going to go down tomorrow and stay at a hotel there because it's a 2-hour drive. If she stays in the hospital tomorrow, that gives her 2 days to start eating and be able to walk on her own. And because the wedding is at 10:00, she would need to be released from the hospital at 7:00 am on Saturday to make the 2-hour drive, and what are the chances of that happening? Not to mention what it will do to the proceedings if something happens to her at the wedding.

So I've only got today and until 11:00 am tomorrow to get everything in order, because I have to go down for the rehearsal at 3:00. I got so far behind because I have spent so much time in the hospital these past 2 weeks. And I want to spend as much time today helping Teresa get better so she has that small chance. I know if I wasn't there all day yesterday, she might not be this far along.

Good vibes!

If you do need to stream, a 4G cell phone would still be your best bet. Since it has it's own Internet connection it does not need the WiFi. Otherwise you would need to try a better WiFi Antenna but I don't think you have the time to futz with that.

Oh, thanks for the advice! I know so litte about this stuff, and I wondered if it was possible with a cell phone with out WiFi.

It has to be a phone that supports either wifi hotspot or tethering.

Why? I would use the phone to run a Google+ video chat (or similar app) using the phones own connection. No laptop needed.

Well yes there's that. I was basing it off earlier recommendations of using a higher quality external camera. Though if it's going to be running on 4G, there are diminishing returns with camera quality anyway, so you're right, the built in is good enough.

That is great news!

Sorry for jumping in so late here. Wishing nothing but the best ahead for both of you.

I'm so relieved at the better health news that I find I can't be too broken up about seeing the wedding streamed live - assuming the tech gods exist to make that happen.


When my sister was married, my mom was too ill to make it. We actually had two weddings.


Continued good vibes for healing and joyous nuptials.

RStar, whatever happens, she needs to know that the BEST possible wedding gift she could give would be to get better. She may have to watch via Skype, but the kids could include her by putting some pretty flowers on her chair (not a rose, that symbolizes someone who has passed) and to make reference to her during the ceremony. Just let her know that the greatest gift would be to get better, and to be there for all the future anniversary's, births, and all those life events that really, in the long run, are so much more important.

Yes, my daughter has arranged with the florest to have a small flower arrangement on her chair.

And that is great advice, I'll pass that along to my daughter. Thanks!

So, today's the day. The rehearsal is tonight, and tomorrow is the wedding. I think we have all resigned to the fact that Teresa won't be there. She is out of ICU and improving every day, but she still can't get out of bed or stand. I think I have it all set up to skype the wedding so she can see it and feel like a part of it in some way. She keeps saying it's not the same while crying, but it's the best we can do. :(

Warmest regards to the bride and groom, and best hopes for 'T' to make a complete/speedy/peppermint recovery.





Yes, Auto-correct changed 'permanent' to 'peppermint' but I decided I like the way it sounded... :)

A peppermint recovery sounds quite tasty.

Here's to the best for the bride and groom, and for you and Teresa as well.

Raise Your Peppermint Recoveries in a Toast to the RStars, LoTers!
 

To health and much happiness! :cheers:

Rstar, to long and continued good health so T can share all the joys that are yet to come. Wendy is right, that's most important.

VWBM for being so damned wise!

I'm guessing she's not well enough to make it in a wheelchair?

I'm so glad to hear how much better she's doing. I missed one day in this thread and wow! So much change.

Congratulations on the wedding too! :)

Great news! As you plan, I would not count on the hospital being able to discharge her at 7:00 a.m. on the day of the wedding. I think they'd discharge her the day before if they thought she was well enough to make the wedding. If she stayed that extra night, she'd probably be in hospital limbo waiting for doctors to sign off on her and other wheels to creak into place. That's one more discussion you need to have.

:cheers: I'll raise my glass, Rumpleminz, to a peppermint recovery. Best wishes to the bride and groom!

Starlight mint, here!

Thanks for all of the well wishes!

I can't even believe how this all went. I'm driving down to Fallbrook for the rehearsal Friday afternoon, and I get a call from the nurse.

"Ok, the doctor said he will release her now." the nurse said.

"Now?" I asked in dismay.

"Yes, in about an hour. How soon can you get her?"

"I'll have someone there in about three hours" I said with a gleem on my face.

The morning before she was unable to lift her hand to her face, and the doctor and nurses said it was highly unlikely to be able to attend the wedding. I had given up, even though the doctor said he'd try on Friday morning. But I packed her stuff just in case.

So I get to Fallbrook, and sent my son's GF (who was in the car with us) back to pick her up and bring her to the hotel in Fallbrook. It was about 5 hours of driving. T still couldn't walk and needed to be lifted from the bed to the wheelchair and fed, but she was there!

We went to the wedding the next morning, and it was wonderful! The Grand Tradition Estate is beautiful, the staff wonderful and ran everything great, and the facility fully ready to do anything you want. The wedding was lakeside at the gazebo, and a great path around the lake made for the most wonderful entrance as she and I came in on a horse drawn carridge! It was a fairy tale wedding ant 1/4 the price of a Disney wedding of the same caliber. I highly reccomend it!

And wifey was there. We all teared up and cried through it all. It was nearly the happiest day of our lifes!

We came home last night. T is doing a little better every day. She can feed herself today, and can even walk a short distance. Her voice is almost back. A nurse came to the house to see her, and everything looks good so far.

Wonderful news, RStar! :D

OMG! She made it! It made me cry reading it. I'm so happy she was able to be there.

OH I'm so happy for you. So gosh darn happy. Wonderful news.

WOW! Fairy-tale wedding indeed! What a fantastic end to such a moving story. Best recovery wishes from here on out!

I'm not crying, it's just very humid here today....

Hurray for a happy ending. Hope she keeps getting better.

SNIFFLE, and truly happily ever after. awesome:D

I haven't contributed to this thread, but I followed all of your updates with increasing anxiety. I'm so glad that it worked out and she was able to make the wedding. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. The happy ending really made my weekend.

Damn... got something in my eye. Both of them.

That is the most fantastical, amazing news I've read in a while. I am SO glad she made it!!!

Best. News. Ever.

I'll admit it. I cried more than a few tears of joy reading this latest update. RStar, that is such wonderful news. Very happy for you!

Who the hell is cutting onions right next to me.

Wonderful news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations too!

That is such fantastic news! Fairy-tale ending, indeed!

Such happy news, wonderful, fantastic. Mazel-tov to all.

Beautiful news!

That is amazing!

I had to reread this cause it just made me so damned happy. How's she doing today? I hope it's onward and upward every day.

She is doing so much better. Her voice is back (after intubation it sounds like you have laryngitis), and she is walking with the aid of a walker. She is able to eat on her own, and her numbers still look good. Tomorrow is the last dose of steroids, and two more days of antibiotics. I still need to help her with showering and dressing.

She has had home care vistits of phtsical therapy and a nurse. They are all amazed at how well she is doing! Tomorrow I will be taking her to her transitional care appointment (they make sure she doesn't end up back in the hospital).

I will be going back to work half day tomorrow, then back full time after that. I have only worked 2 days since this started on the 13th. I'm just so relieved that things are getting back to normal.

And my daughter and hubby (damn, it's gonna take some getting use to) is on her honeymoon on the island of Curacoa, off the coast of Venezuella in the Caribbean. I hope she watches out for Captain Jack and Barbosa! ;)

I'm glad to hear she's doing better and better. Some good news is nice.

Hooray for good news!!!!
:) :) :)

Glad to hear things are going well.

Thank you all so much for your kind words!

She is still getting better all of the time. The PT is working with her, but it's a slow, painful process.

I'm so glad everything worked out and she's on the mend! Still sending healing vibes your way. :)

I just happened to find this thread...Oh my! I did not know any of this was going on!

So glad to hear, after all of that, she is home AND she went to the wedding!

{{hugs}} and tissues to everyone!!!

Ok, here are some pictures from the wedding:


Entrance to the venue


The gazebo just before the guests arrived.



I pick up my daughter from the mansion, and take her to the horse drawn carrige.


My daughter and I on the horse drawn carrige.



Wifey watching the wedding.



The new bride & groom leaving in the horse drawn carrige.

Feh, can't see the pics

Ditto - no pics

Click this link, select the first photo and then click "Slideshow"

Thanks Kevy.

I checked the links and they are all there from what I can tell. I don't know why they aren't showing up. Strange.

OMG, what a beautiful wedding! It looks like your daughter definitely had a dream wedding. I am so glad your wife was able to attend, what a spectacular event. your daughter looked beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

Your family is lovely. Neat location for the wedding. Also - I love the detail on the edge of her veil.

Beautiful. I'm so glad it worked out and she's feeling better.

Beautiful!!! Your wife looks so happy! I am happy it worked out.

Thanks for the link, kevy. Great pictures! Thank you for sharing and I'm so glad your wife is well enough she could attend!

Yes, thanks for sharing those. So glad things worked out and that she is feeling better.

Wonderful!

Oh, everyone looks so happy! I'm getting misty just thinking of where you all were just a few days before that. We're so happy she's doing better, and congrats on a beautiful wedding.

What an absolutely beautiful bride! Incredible venue, Star family.

Thank you so much for sharing your day with us. :snap:

I want to thank you all for your support. It was such a big help to me!

She is still improving, and is almost back to herself. In fact, better than she has been in a long time. :D

So, now I'll close with this last thought:


The hospital bill was just short of $160,000! Yikes!!! :eek:

Glad I have insurance!!

Glad she's on the mend, RStar! :-) Btw, when my mom had acute pancreatitis about nine years ago, she maxed out the million top on her insurance.....:eek:

I am so glad to hear that T is doing -so well, hope it's a continuing trend for her.