You People
 

What is WRONG with You People?

Yes, you know who I’m talking about: The You People. The Those People!

The People who do things which you find unfathomable? Their behavior defies logic. There is no need for them to do as they do but for the sake of rudeness, perhaps.

For instance:

When I ride the bus, and there’s an empty seat by the window, I take the window seat. It’s not because I want to stare out the window and enjoy the scenery, though sometimes that’s nice. I chose the window seat so that the seat next to me is free, and someone can easily plop down beside me without having to pass over me. You see, if you take the aisle seat (usually so you can make a hasty exit), next to an empty window seat, there’s no way to get to the window seat unless you scoot past the person seated in an aisle, or they politely stand up to let you pass. And here’s my issue: What is WRONG with you people who do not stand up to let someone pass, whether it’s to get to the seat next to you, or to exit the bus? Why must you do that thing where you slide your legs into the aisle, as if that’s really giving us enough room to pass by you. Sure, you’re legs aren’t in the way, but this is a tight fit, and I still have to press into your flesh with my a$$ or vagina as I pass. And these are two areas of my body I only want certain people touching, and NONE of these select few have EVER been YOU people.

And, no, this is not a case of a lady protesting too much. I really do hate it.

And in case you are reading this, allow me to point out just who YOU people are. You are this and that a$$hole! You're that fvcking guy and girl I can't stand, even if you are the nicest person ever and take care of dying lymphoma babies. Even if you are the person who makes it possible for me to buy honey at the grocery store, so that I do not have to pilfer dangerous bee hives to enjoy my favorite sweet treat, I think you’re a piece of corn poop!

I realize that it’s a very funny scene in Fight Club when Brad Pitt makes his remark about whether it’s more polite to give someone the a$$ or crotch. Hah-hah, Brad Pitt! And, because it’s Brad Pitt, many of us wouldn’t mind having either his a$$ or his crotch shoved up against us. In fact, some of us might even like it if he were naked, his wiry pubey bits tickling our arms as he goes by, the musk smell of manhood lingering in his wake….

Some of us.

But I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to know that it doesn’t matter whether it’s the a$$ or the crotch. They are BOTH rude and they are BOTH precious, private areas, and the only contact I want them to have (aside from with my underwear) is with the negative space you kindly leave behind when you’ve stood up and moved out of my way.

STAND UP! Just stand up, people. I’m not asking for your seat. I’m not asking for you to pave my exit with rose petals, nor do I expect you to pour me a gin and tonic if I take a seat next to you, but I DO expect you to let me take my seat without having to molest you with my ass flab. That’s doing neither of us any favors, so please, You People, use your manners.

Now, another thing that really bugs me You People. How HARD is it to do your dishes after you use them? Why, WHY, must you leave them in the sink for 7 days? Is it a religious thing? Is it because the drying rack is full of last week’s dishes? Why not just put those away?!

Well, it’s because I’m lazy.

Oh, God. Audra – myself – are you ONE of Those People?!

Yeah. I’m no better than the rest of mankind when it really comes down to it. All kinds of people do things that are rude and annoying, and in certain areas of my life, I’m no exception.

Well, try. Try to be exceptional!

Okay.

Phft, some people...


:D

EH1812,
I love your rants. You're like a composed female George Carlin.
:)

Point taken. If I ever ride a bus again, I'm set. :p

As for the dishes: Screw off. :evil:

I'm a total domestic screw off. I desire to be otherwise, but I was raised by nannies and housekeepers so I'm a lazy effin' bastard.

My Mother used to always say....."That's what THEY are wearing this year". It used to drive me insane until I started responding "That's so nice for them". Heh, it made me feel better at least.

Yes, definitely a polite reason to take a window sit. (I usually give the crotch shot over the butt shot when scooting down an aisle at ballgames, concerts, etc. It's smaller - takes up less space.)

Another good reason to grab a window seat: It seems that many folks who use public transportation either forget to bathe and/or use antiperspirant-deodorant.

I'm good about washing the dishes. If you leave yours in the sink, I'll go ahead and wash yours too.

You people. Ya. YOU PEOPLE!

You know who you are. The ones who don't flush the toilet, or make sure everything goes down. What are you?! 4? Are you afraid the toilet monster is going to jump out and swallow you whole?

And what's up with leaving your trash on the floor. Throw it in the trash can! If it falls on the floor, pick it up and throw it in the trash can. And for the love of all things holy wrap up your products and make sure they are all the way in the trash bin!

Do you leave your bathroom at home looking like this? Do you leave your trash on the floor, your toilet unflushed, wipe your snot on the walls? Somehow I doubt it. I see cleaner restrooms at Disneyland, and it's not due to the janitorial staff that's always in there.

Thank you.

Ditto that............

I'll PM you my address.

Nice post. Here's a suggestion, though. Why don't you just take the aisle seat on the bus? Then when a stranger wants the window seat you can just stand up and let him or her pass. You could stand up again when he or she wants to get off. They will never be exposed to your crotch and you get to make the choice whether you're interested in a close encounter with their privates or not. It's a win-win, plus you get all that good standing and sitting exercise that you miss when you skip church (for Sunday brunch).

Here, here! I agree. Hands off my 'gina!

Some people's kids... you give 'em a coloring book, they eat the crayons. :)

What is wrong with eating crayons? How else would we know what raw umber tastes like?

Be that as it may, it will be a sad day on LoT when Eliza stops riding public transportation.

I'll probably start taking aisle seats more often. Though I sometimes assume people who take the aisle seat are seat hogs, like they're doing it so you'll be less inclined to ask to sit next to them. Usually, if someone is in an aisle seat, you have to actually say, "Do you mind if I sit there?" I don't want people to feel inconvenienced. And when I see someone seated in an aisle seat, and I want to sit next to them, my first thought is usually, "Why couldn't they just take the window seat?! That way I could just plop down beside them and not have to bother them."

Also, I'm on the bus almost 1.5 hours every day, and sometimes the window seat offers you the option of sprawling out until someone needs to sit next to you, or there's the corner created between the wall and the seat that sometimes offers more comfort than the right angled seat. So, it's not just out of an intended politeness that I take the window seat. It is often the more comfortable option for longer rides.

Mostly I just don't see why it has to be an issue. The more polite thing to do is to stand up to let someone in or to let someone out. It also bothers me when the bus is super crowded and you try to make an exit out the backdoor but it's wall to wall people. And instead of these people simply stepping outside of the bus to let you off, they often expect you to sardine crawl through them and push your way out, like a nightmare birth.

Are they afraid the bus will zoom off and leave them behind? What fraidy cats!

I hear ya. It reminds me of the years when I lived in NYC. I always took the subway (much faster than traveling overground). During rush hour it was almost impossible to get off a train because so many greedy commuters on the platform would shove their sorry butts into the already packed car the moment the doors opened.

Ah, memories.

cattle prods make subway commute so much fun :evil:

Ah yes. After 4 years of living in NYC, we probably share some of the same memories. Though, after a bad ankle brake, I had to ride the busses there, as well. They smelled better in New York.

I never had a nanny or housekeeper and I am still a lazy effin' bastard. :D

I feel like I just had this very conversation this afternoon, and lo' and behold, I wasn't even on the boards until now.

I was, like, connected or something.

Here's what I've been trying to work out for years. There is the right way to do things, and the wrong; the better, the best, and the worst; most of my friends do what's better, best, right, common sense, for the most part right? Who the feck are the YOU PEOPLE that are are screwing it all up? If everyone I know seems to be on the right page, then either 1.) I have great tastes in friends and acquaintances, or 2.) my friends and acquaintances have been deceiving me.

Or 3.) I'm overly exhausted right now, and make no sense.

Thanks for listening.

YOU PEOPLE.

Who? ME?

BE,

Right page, same page. No page. Or no and then!

You people!

Who are they? Them? They say? What makes them right?

They aren't right. They left.

I have this same rant.....except the person responsible IS 4 and she's quite afraid of the very real toilet monster and since she's so damn cute, I'm sure he would swallow her whole. Sometimes I like to nibble on her cheeks (facial, although her butt cheeks are the sweetest damn things you ever did see), she's so flipping precious. Chloe is a dollbaby. I think I'll go kiss her sweaty forehead right now.

You know who I don't appreciate? People who don't take care of their kids. Come on, people. WASH your children. Clean their Kool-Aid stained faces, and brush their rotten ass teeth. Wash their dogcrap smeared clothing (oh, that's NOT dogcrap? Um, suuuure smells like it!!!!!!). Buy them new shoes. And while you're at it, run a comb through their hair once a month or so. God, I hope to never go to a McDonald's ever again....I just ran in to use the bathroom today. Never again. Barf. I hate people.

But oh my GOD, do I love my children. They are gorgeous....they just are....and good and kindhearted and gorgeous and bathed regularly and loved and cuddled and clean and good. Maybe I'll go kiss them all.

This probably makes me more sad than angry.

Okay, a good mixture of both, actually.

You're a great mom, Claire.

Didja ever see a friend of yours do something not-so-nice, right in front of you, in public?

The kind of thing that had you seen a stranger do it, you'd want to scream "YOU PEOPLE!" in their face?

I hate when that happens. What's even worse is when you do something and a friend looks at YOU as if you are one of those people. Sometimes my driving habits are less than perfect, and I always feel bad when friends have to witness it.