I like my toilet seats...
 

Hard.

There's nothing worse than sitting down to pee on a warm, squishy, comfort-molds-to-your-butt foam toilet seat. Especially if it's dyed some god-awful pastel color.

I'm entirely unconvinced that one can properly clean those things. I'll green clean my entire house, but you better believe that my toilet is cleaned with the most abrasive, earth killing, bleachiest smelling cleaner I that I can get my rubber gloved hands on. But I don't even think that those can get in the miniscule pepto-bismol toned grooves in the foam.

Why does one's butt need to be squishy comfortable whilst doing nature's business? Are we really that lazy? It's as if one needs to go from a squishy couch to a squishy toilet seat with no break in the comfort level. I mean really, perhaps we should take the cool hardness of the seat as a wake up call to our derrieres. If you notice the comfort level change, than perhaps you are spending too much time on your rump. Or perhaps they are meant as a respite for the constipated? I suppose if one was spending oodles of time on the pot than one would appreciate the foamy commode.

Have you ever sat on a foam seat right after someone else has used the toilet? <<shudder>> Why anyone would choose a toilet seat that retains body heat is well beyond my level of comprehension.

[quote=tracilicious]Hard.

Have you ever sat on a foam seat right after someone else has used the toilet? <<shudder>> QUOTE]

OMG! :snap: I'm totally grossed out yet laughing at the same time!

Well it depends on what kind of foam.

If it is a flexible polyurathane foam it is most difficult to clean(an upholstery steam cleaner would be your best bet) but if it is a polyetheylene foam those are quite easy to clean as they have no sponge type qualities.....the problem with the P.E. foam is that it tends to be quite firm(almost as firm as a hard seat) unless you get one of very low weight and quality(say a 1.2# - 1.7#)versions....anything above a 2.2# will just be way too firm for a seat that's supposed to be soft.

Another option would be to use flexible extruded vinyl accatate(EVA). This foam is somewhat spongy in feel but still what they call a closed cell foam(will not absorb moisture)...in fact, this stuff is used in life vests for floatation. Be carefull when choosing this stuff though because it also can come in a very firm ILD....you will want to get something soft so ask for a "Y-20 EVA soft". The biggest problem with EVA is that it costs nearly 3 times as much as the other two foams.

For the Cadillac of foams choose CONFOR foam. This stuff is a memory foam but nothing like the memory foams they sell for beds....it is super dense and conforms to ones posterior using the science of NASA. It is an open cell foam so it will be difficult to clean, but man is it comfortable.....this is the stuff Jet fighter pilots sit on when pulling 4+ gs.

----------------------

What?

So how many Gs does one pull after say, having a bowl of chili for lunch?

With or without the beano?


:D

Why do you think so many people die sitting on their toilets? :evil:

The wife prefers soft seat, so I get soft seat. We replace them regularly because of the cleaning issue.

It's not an issue of laziness (not sure where that would play into the occassion), but rather comfort.

There are foam toilet seats? Do you mean the kind with the vynil coating over it? The ones that you can hear the air hissing out of when you sit down on them?

I hate those.

Sorry, Kevy. I meant no personal offense to anyone that owns one. It's just a pet peeve of mine. The laziness was purely for comic effect (not that there actually was any) and not born of accuracy. I don't personally need my butt to be super comfortable whilst pottying, but if you do, then more power to ya.

Yes! I totally forgot about the air hissing!!! That is the most hilarious part about them! :snap:

Haha! Guess what I just did? I changed my downstairs bathroom's toilet seat!

I bought it a couple of weeks ago and it's been sitting there propped up against the tub. I wiped the toilet and seat down with clorox wipes and installed that baby in less than 5 minutes. It's hard as a rock too! "High Gloss, Multi-Coat Enamel Finish: Molded wood toilet seat with superior finish that resists chipping and and scratching."

It's beeeyoooteeeful and hard!!

There's also the lovely "ass imprint" left when somebody's just used a soft seat... :D

Hooray! Are all toilet seats made of wood? I thought mine was the same sort of ceramicish material that my toilet is. Perhaps I'm wrong...

Most of you would have a hard time in Japan. Either there is no toilet seat or they are fancy smancy heated and squishy. They also have front and rear bidet functions as well as post-washing blowdryers and noise buttons (to mask "embarassing" noises).

Hi-tech!

I prefer dry toilet seats.

Hard or soft is not an issue.

I do not even like sitting on a seat that is still warm from someone elses butt, so the colder, the better.

What? How can there not be a seat? Where does one sit? The high tech options sound cool if only for the wow factor.

They have "Squat" toilets.

Ever wish your toilet seat was filled with dried flowers? Or maybe you'd prefer razor blades? (Guaranteed to make your guests feel welcome!)

Well, here is the link for you.

What a great site! (but horribly designed!) I like "the crap's table."

That is some of the worst webdesign I've ever seen, and that includes the personal webpages of the late 90s! :eek:

As for the seats on that site, blech! My parents have a similar seat and lid that are mostly see-through. Blue with bubbles in it. Part of the reason for the lid is so you don't have to see the inside of the bowl, right? :rolleyes:

As a kid I secretly longed for a squishy toilet seat, plus matching shag rug/tank cover/lid cover. Everyone cool had those!

But now I dont' want any of that. I just thank my lucky stars we don't have seats like those in Italy - way too wide of a hole and too thin a seat! I always feared I'd fall in.

Growing up, not only did we have the squishy toilet seat, it was BRICK RED and had the logo for my dad's alma mater on it!

...Wow... squishy and toilet, two words you NEVER want to see together....

My mom, on the other hand, favors those damn wooden ones. Which would be fine except that until recently, her guest one (eg: mine) was cracked in one part, right where you'd want the back of one of your thighs. So you had to sit kinda sideways, thus defeating the comfortable oval design of the seat.

I think my favorite seats were on the extra-long toilets we used to have. No short bowls there!

If no one's done it already, does someone want to send the link to that site to somethingawful.com?

It's been submitted

I think this toilet seat is my new favorite.

The description of that one has me cracking up!

Lords and varlets will want to leave the seat down!! No castle should be without one!!

Varlets?

Harlots?
Varmits?
Starlets?

??????

An attendant or servant.
A knight's page.
A rascal; a knave.

Yeah, I was NOT a medievalist in a former life.

Well, why not? C'mon, all the cool kids are medievalists.

Join . . . us . . . .

I think you mean "All the cool kids WERE medievalists".

What is it about medievalists that necessitates the past tense?

Or maybe "medievalist" a mandatory step on the way to coolness? If so, I guess I'm not cool yet. And you need to change the little mojo captions so that somewhere in there people have the title of "medievalist"--before they reach swankness.

Either I'm not cool yet or I'm living in the past.

Because I said:

Then it's not too late for you to be a medievalist in *this* life! I'd say you're one snazzy toilet seat away from a swell start.

Anyone who owns a copy of the Heimskringla is at the least an aspiring medievalist.

HA! You got me there.

You know, we've been neglecting the gents. But we do so no longer!

OMG I hate those seats. (the foam ones, not those unique ones from above...LOL) One time when my BF's Mother was visiting she changed the toilet seat when I was at work. She also changed the shower curtain...*sigh*...anyway, i got home and went to use it. I came off that seat so fast...I was like WTF!! I hated it!! My BF siad I had to keep it for her....yeah, whatever....anyway, it ended up cracking. Now that was fun....so now I ahve a normal seat ont he toilet again...:)

Prudence, those are awesome! I especially like the shell one.

Ok, if someone, anyone, changed my decor while I was out, I'd be MOST pissed off. WTF??

yes, i was not happy...she also rearranged the kitchen....I put that back after she left...LOL...my BF also let her pick out the colors to paint the house. It did turn out really nice, but she kept saying renters would like the color...WTF!! RENTERS!! I thought they were planning on renting the house and I was the last to know...or to be more exact over hear in a conversaion. My BF and I had words over that, but that was over 8 years ago and the house has never been rented out so I don't know what she was smokin...LOL...

Oh, so they own the place. That makes at least some semblence of sense. She's still annoying though. ;)

well, he owns the place, but he picks his wars with his mother....I've not actually seen a war though, just a couple of minor skirmishes...:)

Hmm, I posted on this thread yesterday but today it's gone.... :confused:

Those Moderators must've been busy! (Right!)

Maybe it didn't "take" and you moved on before it posted.