THE WICKER MAN - a remake to avoid
 

I'm a big fan of THE WICKER MAN, the hard to categorize not-really-horror film from 1973. I have the CD soundtrack in frequent rotation on my iPod, and I watch the DVD once a year, on May Day of course.

I knew that the new Neil LaBute remake, starring Nicholas Cage, was unlikely to live up to its predecessor, but I am amazed by just how far short it falls. It serves as a great example of how a good story does not improve by punching it up with flashy editing, shock dream sequences, jittery flashbacks and SUDDEN LOUD NOISES on the soundtrack. As the film rolled around to its would-be shocking conclusion, I was distressed to find that I had absolutely zero investment in the characters or in what was going on. Alas.

I'll give LaBute credit for taking a risk. This was almost as futile an effort as Gus Van Sant's shot for shot PSYCHO remake. Labute brings some creativity to the table. Instead of the first film's carefree pagan island community, this film posits a dour and depressing matriarchal village. Interesting choice, but the old film made its setting colorful and attractive, its inhabitants sensual and gleefully amoral. This place is joyless, music-free and oppressive. (There's no nudity either, which is a bummer.) I couldn't see why anyone would want to stay there, nor why they would feel any particular loyalty to their leader, a surprisingly un-charismatic Ellen Burstyn. This isn't a bad notion, but the film would have gained a lot by making this alternative society appealing. As it stands, it makes an easy target for chauvinists in the audience to point and say "Y'see? That's why we don't want you in charge!"

The men on the island are not just second class citizens,

There are no songs here, not even when the May Day celebration gets underway. Some girls are seen playing flutes and such, but you can barely hear them behind the film score by Angelo Badalamenti. There was no effort made to give this island authenticity through its folk music, a real disappointment. There are a few interesting design motifs amid the sets, but I didn't for a moment buy this as a real place.

How would this play to someone who has no experience of the first film? I fear it would probably be boring until the last reel, at which point it would be laughable. (Nicholas Cage running around the forest in a bear suit was a really bad idea!)

Rent or buy the original, and check out the fantastic soundtrack CD. Give this woeful remake a wide berth.

Must see the original again...

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the new version of All the King's Men coming out later this fall will be high on the list of remakes to avoid as well.

I've never seen the original The Wicker Man because I simply am not a big fan of horror movies. But I was thinking about seeing this new version at the drive-in in Sacramento this weekend. Maybe I'll picke something else.

Was it really marketed as a horror movie? It's so not.

The Wicker Man is NOT a horror film. I'm not sure how I would catigorize it - maybe just the catch-all "Cult" descriptor would be best. But, it is worth seeing - and Britt Eckland has a nude scene. (I'm not sure anyone even knows who Britt Eckland is anymore.)

I had a feeling a new version would be bad. I just didn't see how they would make it good.

I do not "do" horror moives and The Wicker Man (original version) is not a horror movie. Disturbing, yes. Horrific? In a way, not not gory, not a scary man is going to come kill me in my sleep sort of way.

I think you would enjoy it Alex. Give it a shot.

Without naked heathens, I hardly see the point

Watch it with Kevy. Not that he's a heathen, but I'm sure he'd be willing to go naked.

Well, I use the term pretty broadly. Such that it includes things like The Village of the Damned or The Bad Seed. Supernatural suspense thrillers and whatnot (or films that want you to think supernatural suspense even if it turns out not). Scary movies never scare me and supernatural suspense movies almost never suspend me. So I have a limited history with them.

I was just looking around at some lists of "top 100 horror films" and see that such things tend to define it pretty broadly and The Wicker Man is frequently categorized as horror.

But it's not important. I'm probably not going to see the new version now (when I go to the drive-in I only watch movies I would otherwise never see in the theater since the picture quality and sound tend to suck, so The Wicker Man was a good candidate) and unless someone else is watching I'm probably not going to see the old version.

Would you regard The Sixth Sense as a supernatural suspense movie?

Not really, as there wasn't really much suspense involved. But I'm willing to accept that most probably would think of it as such and it would be one of the very few that work for me.

That's why I was willing to say movies never scare me but suspense almost never works for me. I haven't been scared by a movie in a very long time (though that doesn't necessarily mean the movie is bad, just that it isn't scary). But sometimes suspense movies catch me up.

But I'm not going to get hepped up on defending a categorization of The Wicker Man. I haven't seen it so I have no problem assuming I'm wrong. That said, what little I know of it has little appeal to me based on experience with similar things. Someday, if I see it, I may think it the best thing in the world but I'm not going to put any emphasis on getting around to it.

Whew for this review thread. I was really wondering about it, and was sorta planning on seeing it.


Now, I'll just rent the original - - which I've only seen bits and pieces of.

I need to Netflix the original. I've seen it once and barely remember it, though i know I liked it. We keep seeing the ads for the new one and my fiance is confused and curious. I want to make her watch the original way more than i would want to take her to the new one.

If it's any help, Alex, there's nothing supernatural about The Wicker Man. I hope it ends up in your netflix queue someday. It's unique and worthwhile.

Another note on this new one. If you've seen the previews, you know that this version adds a car/truck crash sequence, one completely foreign to the original, and which I spent this whole movie wondering how it would tie in. I will only say that as a plot thread, it ended up making no sense whatsoever! The occupants of that crash mysteriously disappear from the wreck and turn up much later in the proceedings with no explanation of how they managed it. What's more, I don't think anyone in the audience wondered about this unexplained point or even cared, it was so irrelevant.

No, it's an "every normal person I know is going to come and kill me" sort of movie. One body is enough for a horror film, and the ending of that movie was one of the more horrifying--and, at the time, surprising--things I've ever seen.

I skip Saw, Hostel and the current breed. I'm turning into my father, whose constant refrain was "That's not entertainment."

Yes, we've reached that prime age where we start doing things our parents did. I yell at kids to stay off the lawn. Chris can'r hear. I like orange suddenly. How far must we go?

Suddenly? What about Fred the rose?

You named the rose Fred? I don't remember naming the rose Fred. That must've been a K name.

Oh, at that was more apricot. ;)


Now I'm thinking about how that jerklandlord pulled out all of those roses and put in a dumb palm tree. :mad:

Palm trees suck. I propose a ban on all palm trees.

Saw 2 scared the everloving daylights out of me. I bawled for about 2 hours after I saw it and didn't sleep for 2 weeks. Probably because JigSaw looks like clown and I hate clowns. "every normal person I know is going to come and kill me" is something I've come to accept ;)

I think when I saw it the ending really bothered me. It was very disturbing and horrifying. I guess I saw horror I mean gore, which this is not.

I was wondering if I forgot about the car crash or not. Thanks Flippy.

Your rose, your name, I say.

Apricot, huh? I say it's spinach . . .

Is that building still standing? I remember some years back it had been declared unfit for human habitation. And then next time I drove by it wasn't.

Wow, talk about a thread I started becoming totally incomprehensible to me...

Still, whatever you are talking about, it has put a tune in my head, from Alice In Wonderland:

We're naming the roses Fred
We're naming the roses Fred

It's still there. They divided our living room in half to make it a 2 bedroom. Stupid stupid people.