Anxiety Attacks.
 

I've been peppered by anxiety attacks this week (unusual for me) because I've given my roommate notice and will be moving into my own place this November. Without going into detail, we're friends, but we have to part ways as roommates.

Anyhoo, I've managed to overlap the time I must move with the time I'll be away back east on vacation. The timing stinks all around. On top of all of this, I need to save quite a lot of money over the next couple of months in order to cover first mont's rent, deposit, etc., and still have a little spending case for my trip.

I'm not asking for solutions to the problem, so much as I'm wondering what y'all do to calm yourself down if ever you've suffered from similar attacks of anxiety. Tea? Naps? Cry? Exercise? Therapy? I know it's temporary, but I'm certain I'll experience this on and off until I'm settled into my own place. I need to figure out a way to keep the anxiety at bay. I'm sure that a game plan will help, but I can't really sit down to work out the logistics until the weekend.

In the meantime, I feel it bubbling up again. Friggin' A, I don't know how people who get anxiety attacks all the time can function at all. It's completely freaking me out.

I wish I could give you a good answer. The only things that seem to help me are time, and being distracted by something else (i.e. staying busy). Hang in there.

Lately, I've been doing everything I can NOT to take another Klonopin.

Strangely enough, holding my breath has been giving me some relief.

Why? I have no idea.

I plan. And create solutions for my problem. Even if there is nothing I can do about it now, planning helps me. X amount away for this and put x amount away for that. I need to get wxy and z taken care of. I need to call these people and change these addresses. Etc...

Then I exercise. And zone out. Watching brain numbing TV or some mindless movie really helps me relax too.

Writing as a release is one of my ways. I think we've experianced anxiety in one way or another and I think if we're creative people, doing what we like to do helps alot. There are days when I just sit in my chair and listen to classical music or a film soundtrack and just ride the wave. Sometimes a good cry helps.

Plus you can always talk to someone. You've got lots o pals here. Give me a shout if you need to. :)

It depends on the particular variety of anxiety. For something sharp and intense and more panic-like sometimes a particular fidget item (like a rubber band) or repetitive motion of some sort helps get through the acute stage. For frustration-based anxiety, I like the treadmill because it combines the soothing repetitive motion with the endorphins. Blasting peppy music through the headphones while on the treadmill is particularly effective if you're trying to get your brain to stop thinking already. For more depression-based anxiety - hot shower. As hot as I can stand. Until there's no more hot water. Baths are okay, but the percussion of the shower on my back is more soothing. And for coping and actually doing what needs to be done I make lists. Lots of lists. With entries like "eat lunch" so that I know some things will get crossed off and it's not just a list full of hard stuff.

Bleh.

You know, as our proposed move date creeps ever closer, I think back to the last time we moved. We too managed to overlap moving and travel times. The result was a maddening sequence of events: I graduated, we had a week to pack everything, then we went to Italy for 2 weeks, came back, had 2 days to move, and I started a new job on day 3.

Here I am 5 years later...and I have absolutely no frigging clue how we did it. I must have blocked the horror from my mind, because I have no recollection of the events leading up to move day. I recall the actual move going relatively smoothly, so that must mean we worked our butts off in that preceding week and go everything ready to go...but I sure as hell don't remember it.

So, um, I guess I'm saying that I deal with the anxiety by completely forgetting about it afterwards. I suppose that doesn't help when it's still in front of you, as I'm learning myself right now as I feel totally unprepared for this move.

I know you didn't ask for solutions, but as a man and an attorney, that's really all I know how to give. The solution is that unless you are going to forfeit a lot of money by doing so, postpone/cancel your vacation. Why, I have many pleasant memories of vacations/weekends that I've put off due to unexpected work explosions, the not-quite-so-unexpected death of my father, etc. You need time, and you need to save money to have a roof over your head (or so it seems from your tone). It's rare that one can actually remove a cause of anxiety. Here you can.

There's been a lot of great responses so far, so I don't really have anything else to add.

But, one thing I usually do when I feel anxious, or angry, or just plain stressed out, is put on some of the most upbeat music that I can find (it could be anything from The Killers to...ahem...Jessica Simpson), and just jump around, work up a sweat and let the music drown out your anxiety. It works for me, because I usually move so much, I flop down on a nearby chair or bed and veg out in a calm state.

I drive and listen to fun upbeat music. Treadmill helps as well. And lists, even thought I hate them it does somehow seem to make it all more manageable if you write it all down. Long bath with the latest edition of People.

I *will* be busy, so maybe that's a plus. No time to panic, at least. Angst, yes. Panic, no. Thanks!

Regulating my breathing is all I need to get over an oncoming panick attack. By just paying attention to it, you tend to breath more deeply, more slowly ... this slows the heart rate, calms the nerves.

For more persistent anxiety .... I simply suffer it. No cure known to me.


BTW, if you're upcoming vacation is going to be your general life anxiety-reliever, I don't see how you could give it up. Postponement might be a neet idea though. (and if it's really going "back east," um, yeah, giving it up might be all the stress relief you need.)

I think exercise might help. The problem is the attacks are sort of hitting at times when I'm either supposed to be getting ready for work, or while I'm at work. Bah.

I think lists and exercise are going to be the way to go. It's mostly manifesting itself as bowel discomfort, heart palpitations and slight breathlessness. So maybe some deep breaths are in order, as well.

I know I can handle what needs to be handled, and the lists should help me figure out HOW. Thanks!

Can't, for mental reasons and fiscal ones. If I understand correctly, the flight (a birthday gift) isn't refundable. Also, I haven't had a vacation in two years, and part of this anxiety is the result of really needing to getaway. My parents can always help me in a pinch (I can bunk with them for a couple of weeks if I can't secure the place in the time planned). I'm sure some of this, in addition to the planning, is simply having to deal with the roommate situation while I'm figuring this all out. It's a sticky, sad situation, though it's not as terrible as I was expecting after breaking the news of my leaving to her.

Anyway, thanks. I do appreciate the advice. I'm sure that would be the easiest resolution, but it's not gonna happen.

Coping with moves is supposed to be right below coping with death on the stress scale. I've had some close-call (how will I get packed in time?!?!?!) moves. I'll just have to plan a head and be packed well in advance. Good thing I've already started that phase.

Okay, I seem to be calming down a bit. You guys have been great. Really.

I'm going to be staying in rural New Jersey, by a lake, peeping at leaves and reading books. One Halloween party gathering weekend with a bunch of friends, and then just my good friend R and I being lazy and doing not a whole heck of a lot. Not a stress to the wallet or the mind. And totally needed.

In the meantime, deep, deep breaths.

Yes, deep deep breaths! Also envisioning yourself in your bucolic New Jersey lake vacation can also help you relax and get a grip on the anxiety.

I agree (BtD?) with lists, they help a lot. I know all about needing a vacation and since I just crossed the great continental divide, moves can be stressful too. But, this is also where you call in your chits with friends to help you out, those you are comfy with, like help packing, etc. One box at a time and my big advice is, purge whatever you can! I found 3 boxes that I moved from CA to VA 7 years ago, still unpacked in a closet. Those got pitched pronto!

In the meantime, deep breaths and visualization lolling by the lake!:cool:

True that. I feel like since I survived the move from hell (in which the house that we would be moving to wasn't available in time and the house we were in had already been given notice on) while nine months pregnant and planning a homebirth, there isn't anything short of death that could possibly be worse.

There were definitely anxiety attacks in that situation. I handled it mainly by freaking out a lot, crying, vomitting and pacing. Oh, then I made a plan. The plan helped probably the most. :p

A good escape from anxiety? Loud, rip your clothes off, head-board-banging, sweaty, waking up the neighbors, breaking furniture, make the cat freak out, pass out afterwards because you are hyperventilating, monkey sex.

I'm more used to causing anxiety than dealing with it :)

That almost describes my Monday morning. And, yeah, it helped. But sadly it wasn't a cure.

I know other people have suggested something similar to this - here's what I do:
1. Separate all of your anxieties into two lists: manageable (things you have the ability to do something about), and unmanageable (things that you don't). 2. Throw out list #2.

I probably picked up the habit in some anonymous group about 20 years ago... Works pretty good for me. That, and a hot cup of tea.

Fortunately, I've already done that mentally. And List #1 is freaking me out less, now that I know I can go home for a month before securing my own place. Phew, phew, phew!

I just need to remind myself that moving back into my parent's house, only for a month, is a step back so that I may vault much further ahead.

It's not a step back, it's a step forward that will enable you to fly further :)

Game plan!

Definitely going to move home right before I go on my vacation, October 25th. Have spoken to the madre and padre, and I'm going to rent a very cheap storage unit to store all my stuff, and then I'm going to come back from vacation, find an apartment (since I won't be paying rent, I'll have all the money I'll need) and enlist the help of my friends to move my stuff into the new place.

The only drawback is that I will have a very long commute to work from my parent's house, but that's hold hat.

I may even try to get my driver's license, since they have an extra car right now (a junker) that I can use as practice.

We shall see. I'm now feeling more hopeful and happy. Should I have another freak out, I will take heed of all your wonderful advice. Thank you guys so much!

It always feels so much better once you get a game plan going.

I got here a bit late and I see LOADS of great advice! I do what MP does. I think we got the same toolbox. ;)

Exactly. You need to pull the rubber band back before it can fling you forward.

You have had much great and apparently useful advice here, to which I will only add that you should remember that you have many loving friends here who are ready to help you, if needed.

Ditto on the breathing - but I might further suggest taking a few really deep breaths, by which I mean start by trying to expell as much air out of your lungs as possible and the then holding for a three-count, then take that deep breath and hold it for a three count as well. A couple of these can really ground you.

I'd also add you might want to try some relaxation/meditation exercises. An easy one I do is focusing on different muscle groups in your body, tensing the muscles (with an inhale) and then relaxing them (on the exhale). Ideally, you'd have a dark room, and a clean floor to lie down on. Start at your toes and work your way slowly up your body to your forhead. It's important to visualize each part of your body (some guided meditation might also work) as this keeps your mind focused on something else, and not on what it is that stresses you.

As you work through your body you may be surprised at the places you hold your stress. In the future, you can sit in your desk and think of those areas as you do a couple deep breaths. I don't know about anxiety attacks but this really helps to keep me grounded as work stress hits me during the day.

Oh I can so relate to poorly timed moves. When I moved a few months ago, my schedule went like this: The weekend before I moved I was away at a four day conference. Then I moved on a Friday. The next day I had to attended an 8 hour class (and turn in two papers.) That Monday I left for my annual 6 day mission trip. None of these things could be changed. It definitely caused me a lot of stress and anxiety....and tears....

Moving in with your parents for a month sounds like a good plan. My parents were a huge help when I moved. I didn't move in with them, but the Sunday after I moved (when I was at work) they came down and completely unpacked my kitchen & bedroom. Thank God for them, because it's possible that to this day neither room would be unpacked if they hadn't.

I just really want to ditto using breathing techniques to deal with anxiety attacks. I used to get them a lot, and the best way for me to deal with them was to close my eyes, concentrate on slowing down my breathing, then when I was feeling calmer, find something that I could work on in my immediate control, & work on that.

And if that didn't work, I'd start drinking until I forgot what I was stressing about. ;)

Poorly timed moves?

We had that happen - POURING rain - 2 inches of rain in less than 48 hours

Take it from an expert (who is responding too late)... it takes sacrifices (and this is one of independence) to get yourself forward. I think you've made a wise choice.

E