Live from EMT class
 

:cool:

Body Substance Isolation and sceen safty as read.

Baby I wan't to get you in the trandelenburge position, give you some high flow O2 via non-rebreather...

trauma naked and in need of a detailed phisical exam... umbilicus to paranetrium got a thrombosis that will stimulate your VAGUS responce... you will have accessory mussle use for sure.... damn that's acute angina! gotta go will edit.... work in progress baby.... submit

Hi Steve.

I'm coming to you live from CS 111!!

didn't know you could browse LOT on your phone.

man I need to edit above post..... damn test inturupted me....

lucky it was not the nationals barely made it.

Memory from Industrial First Aid, circa 1985:

Red, raise the head...
Pale, raise the tail.

(We also got to see some really cool gory pictures and stuff).

Oooh yeah, I love it when you talk about your thrombosis!

I love making anything sound sexy. :snap:

Random Shunts and Fistulas
 

~Just in the bathroom with the aspirin~
I’m not cyanotic baby just cool pale and diaphoretic. I got nitro in my pocket…. yeah it will sooth your ischemia (baby that’s acute angina!) It will probably give you a headache but that’s ok I got my priapism all covered in Acetylsalicylic acid.

~From the heart~
Its too much for most to handle when they experience a massive pulmonary embolus. But
I think that you might have tachypnea (increased tidal volume) and be able to take it in “stridor”

~funk & airway adjuncts~
I’ll maintain your airway and do some oro-pharyngeal action (unless you gag on it) but that’s ok baby I’ll just lube up a nasal-pharyngeal or have a more qualified responder give full on visualized intubation but you might not be able to take it all without me helping by using the sellick maneuver that’s right sweet thing: direct cricoid pressure. (if you can handle it)

~Placenta abruptia or I got a package fo ya~
I’m the kinda guy who will encourage suckling vigorously massage your fundus till you shunt off and I always have a clean towel waiting for after. (it’s bound to get messy)

~Just taking spine precautions mam~
If you like things rough I can always whip out a C-collar and bust out the long board sandwich and get some soft restraints. I'll take you in nice and slow code 2. But I'm gonna need a 5150. Can always have the man ride along if you don't behave. Who don't like a double team now and again anyhow? Hell your ridding ta the nut house anyhow.


~Pounding one out~
Things very well might get so intense while groaning in semi fowlers and working that ischium that your vasovagal response might cause you to syncope (that’s right baby) you might just pass right out!


~Down a half a liter~
Your gonna need to check me for signs of hypervolimic shock after I’m done sweet thing cause the fluid loss will definitely be substantial.

Bravo! :snap: :snap: :snap: :cheers:

Yeah, baby!! For a good time, call 911!! :snap: :cheers:

And, it's covered by insurance! Yeah, baby!:snap:

LOL!

This is why I love him, gals.. This is why I love him! Hehehehe...