Caution: Girl Stuff
 

Guys - you've been warned. I'm going to get a bit detailed.





Late last summer I decided to try something with my birth control pills. I had heard that if you skip the placebo week and just start your new pills pack, your periods either cease or happen rarely. I believe someone from this group had done this before (I think they wrote about it on Fab's board?) and I've heard from other people that recommended it. Like every other woman on earth, I am annoyed by my monthly BS and thought it was worth a shot.

At first it was great. No periods. No mood swings, no cramps, no gastrointestinal distress, no accidents, no tampons. Nothing. It was so freeing. I also noticed that instead of waxing and waning as they usually did, my boobs were staying big and getting bigger. I had the biggest breasts I've ever had - a solid B cup.

But after a few months I started getting discharge problems that lingered. Instead of an actual period I had weeks of not-really-a-period-but-requires-pantiliners. It would go away a bit and then come back, far more often than my period. It was enough to annoy me into going back to the old way.

In December I went in for my pap. I admitted to my (new, due to moving) doctor that I had manipulated my pill schedule. He was immediately dismissive and gave me a ton of scare stories about too much estrogen, and that the body needed to clean out the uterus, yadda yadda. He said the opposite of everything I'd heard around on the topic. I asked about other alternatives but again, everything he mentioned had dire warnings about side effects and bad reactions. No, he recommended I stick to the old school pill with the old school schedule, saying it was the safest, best way.

So, I have. Going back to having a period wasn't as annoying as I thought it would be. I guess I'm just used to having it, so it's no big deal. The other side of it has been more interesting for me though.

In the last couple weeks I've really noticed the difference in my breasts. We've been hitting the hot tub most evenings and my bikini top just isn't what it was two months ago. I think my bras have stretched out as well...or at least my expectations for my bras have changed. The realization that I'll never have those boobs again has affected me far more than I thought it would, hell, far more than I hoped it would. I know I'll get over it but it's kind of odd to confront it.

So - I checked WebMD.

I'm thinking of looking for a new doctor who will actually talk to me about this instead of being dismissive. Thing is, I am totally aware that the main reason I would do so is because of the breasts, not the periods. And that is enough to make me think I shouldn't do it.

Sigh.

The best way to get boobs is to get pregnant. I was a B before pregnancy and was a whopping D afterwards - and they never went away.

The second best way is augmentation.

You couldn't pay me to mess with my hormones now - not after what's happened to my body as it has gotten older.

But, I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on the internet. Talk to a second gyncologist and weigh ALL of the risks - not just the immediate gratification of it.

Seriously, though, boob surgery is not that difficult.

That's my reaction, too.

CP, interesting that you've brought this up.

While I'm lucky (read: blessed beyond belief) that, aside from maybe a little crankiness a week or so before my period, I have few issues with my period. For that reason, I go ahead and do "the period."

However, once upon a time, a few years ago, I decided to get on the Nuvaring. Virtually eliminating user error seemed like a great plan for me. I loved it. Additionally, it was good for 4-week dosage, according to my doctor, so that should I want to go "period-less" I could do so very easily. Once my insurance changed my coverage for the non-generic brand, I switched back to the pill. Happy enough, though not as happy as not having to think about the pill, I kept on with it.

A couple of years ago, I lost my insurance entirely, and realized that even the generic wasn't exactly cheap, either. I kept on with the pill, since I didn't want to pay for another appointment right out of my pocket, but once I was due for another pap, I decided it was time to get back on the more-expensive Nuvaring. (trust me, it's awesome!) I went to the clinic, since I'd heard great things about them, and talked with the doctor who was treating me. She re-affirmed what the previous doctor said about "not needing to have my period" - almost to the point of promoting it since many women have major issues with that time of the month. Heck, I've gone "period-less" just because I have stuff going on that weekend, and I didn't want my period. It's worked out nicely!

To be noted, both doctors who said it was okay were women. Nothing against male doctors, but oftentimes they literally can't understand how problematic a period can be for some women, and archaically suggest that the period is all-important.

On the other hand, I'm surprised that he didn't look into alternate reasons you could be having the discharge. From my own experience, I would suggest stress (you did just recently move and started a new job), or any number of alternate causes.

Anyway, let me know what happens. And yeah - get a new doctor.

I've done the back to back pills before, but not for more than a few months. Maybe you could ask about the one that gives you only 4 periods a year.

The fact that both of you say this catches my attention. I've talked to many women with menopause and other things going on and I do wonder if this would affect that.

I have to say that I would never, ever get breast augmentation, barring a replacement for a mastectomy. The idea of inserting bags of liquid in my body to make me look prettier repulses me. I'm not judging anyone else's decision - I just know it's not for me.

That's why this is such a weird thing for me. If it didn't mean the end of my periods, I wouldn't be pursuing the concept at all. It'll be interesting to see how I react when I start going gray... ;)

Erica - thanks for the detail on your experience. The Nuvaring is inserted and left inside, right? That weirds me out big time. I would love to hear more about that from someone that's experienced it - perhaps it would be a good option for me, if I can get past my initial reaction.

I didn't even think of that. Good point.

I don't think I spoke to him about the discharge. As soon as I mentioned what I had done, he turned on the condescending attitude and began lecturing me with a half-smile on his face. I could almost hear him thinking about how stupid I was. I think I get more discharge than most women do on a daily basis anyway, on the normal pills. The discharge I got during my no-period phase was reddish, thinner than usual, and totally required a pantiliner or light tampon.

I think I will. I may wait until my next pap for a change. We'll see.

Jen, I'd be looking for a Woman MD if I were you - I think they might have a more understanding point of view, and slightly more insight than just reading about the issue - they've been there, done that, so to speak.

Not being Mys-bloke-gynist (what is the opposite of mysogynist ??), but I think a female would be a better source of advice.

I know that the women who get the shot only have 4 periods a year. And the medical community has no problem with it.

You also get fuller and more lustrous hair.

Women doctors? Depends. My wife went to a female OB practice. As the babies grew larger and larger inside her, she broached the subject of C-sections. No one would have a serious discussion with her, presumably because vaginal births are more positive outcomes for any practice. Like many men, these women also subsequently abandoned their OB practice as their insurance premiums skyrocketed, so they were not Mother Theresas, nor should they have been.

I have heard of the non-period from taking the bc pills but, yes, I worried about what it would do to me. I've been regular {even with the all of the crap that comes with it} and don't want to jack it up.

But, I am older {I don't know when the women in our family hit menopause, no one is quite chatty about it...I guess it makes them feel old? So wrong...} and finished having kids. I don't have to use anything at this point. The Hubster took care of that. So, like your issue of the boobage my reason would solely be for ending the monthlies. And, is that enough to mess with my body? Especially when I've had no problems with it and really waiting to see what will happen. {and, I'm probably too old anyways? Especially if I've never been on the pill?}

Does anyone use Deprovera? I know someone who did and found out, after a few years, it wasn't good.

Ugh. I found my first gray hairs when I was 22. I had just gone through a bout of pneumonia with my son who was only about 5 months at the time. One of the most scary times of my life.

I was never one of those {like my sisters} who colored their hair for fun. Too much trouble. So, it really does have to get to me to make me color my hair. I let it go...until I look at myself and say 'Oh my gawd, do not leave the house again until you fix that!!!!' It really makes a difference to fix the roots. When you finally do it {after having gray} you'll feel great. So, to me, it does make a difference to do it. Even though I hate it.

So true. The most incompetent, negligent ob/gyn I ever had the displeasure of dealing with is a woman. The two most competent, most compassionate ob/gyns I have ever had were men. Get the best you can find, regardless of whether the doctor is male or female.

I'm not menopausel. I'm not even pre-menopausel. I probably have another 10 years of this. My body does what ever other woman'tbody does every 28 days - like clockwork. And, since I haven't been taking ANY hormones for about 10 years now, my periods are easier and less problem-imposing than they've ver been. With a few month of bandess when I was taking tamoxifen and also before the thyroid dosage was adjested - one is a hormone one effect hormone production.)

The fact that I got breast cancer at a young age probably has to do with 4 things:
-I messed with my hormones by taking the pill for a very long time
-I drank heavily for a good 10 years
-I have a family history of POST-menopausel breast cancer
-I got pregnant late (at 32) and I wasn't only pregnant for 5 1/2 months, so it didn't really cancel out the other bd hormone abuse.



So, inserting a bag of liquid repulses you, but ingesting hormones daily to augment your breasts does not? I don't see what the difference is.

Augementation is probably a LOT safer.

Oh, and the most wonderful gyno I ever had was a male and the 3 horrid ones were all female. Today, I just go with good regardless of gender.

As I've said, the women in my family aren't very talkative about this. I guess it makes them feel older? They are all older than I am and damnit, it would be nice to have some advice. But, also, 3 of my 6 older sisters are from my mother, not my father. So, whatever they tell me could be hit or miss.

NA, we are about the same age. Are you going by family history or general cases?

Hit or miss with the OB/Gyn also. Some times it seems the female ones expect me to know things I don't and then sometimes the males figure I don't know what I do.

Family history. I have 2 older sisters and my Mom to go by. All three were over 55 when they stopped having regular periods. My one sister even got pregnant naturally at 49 (but miscarried). I haven't had ANY signs of menopause yet as 44 wanes. Yes, folks, I could still get preggers. God help us.

Hey, well I'm in menopause. Had a little perimenopause and then a hysterectomy and both ovaries removed. My mother died when I was in my mid-30s so I never asked her about this stage of life.

But would you call the child €urofraid or Notmeinke ?

You doctor is giving you a load of horse-hooey. And if he does this now, about this issue, what's going to happen when you have a serious health issue and have to make a difficult health issue between unpleasant options? Are you going to get all the options or just the ones he likes?

Oh God. My mother can't remember if she had breakfast........

Aw, NA, you wouldn't need any help. :snap:

That concerns me, as well. Are the options he is offering up based on his beliefs? Only on what he knows? His religious background? Well, he or any doctor for that matter.

Oo, I was always concerned when I'd go to the pediatrician. I read a lot of magazines and I know they are updated frequently. Possibly more frequently than doctors are updated on what is new. I would question the doctor about things and he wouldn't know.

And after, all that new hair falls out. Then, every three years (the length of a hair cycle) your hair thins again. I love it. :rolleyes:

CP, when I was younger I was put on BC pills continuously for endometriosis. I didn't get a period for several years. After my endometriosis went into remission, I stayed on BC pills full time for several years thereafter (I would say in the neighborhood of 10 years in total). It wasn't even because my periods were bad (they have always been like clockwork and only last 2 days), just for the convenience. My gyno at the time (early 80s) told me then that endometriosis had been treated in that way for years and it was perfectly safe.

I haven't been on BC pills for about 8 years, but after I stopped taking them full time, I would still manipulate my period just for convienience sake, say taking an extra week because I was going on vacation.

IMO, the hormones in BC pills have been used safely for decades. Some people do have problems with them but if you want bigger breasts, the pill seems the easiest and safest (elective surgery is by no means "safe") route.

Just my $.02.

I skip periods all the time for vacations etc. I haven't done it for more than two months in a row though. And I agree with everyone else. Find a new doctor.

I'm with the find a new doc crowd.


I can't take the Pill, or any hormones. I have a problem with the ones my own body produces- so much so that my doc offered to give me a shot that would send me into early menopause. (I declined, as I am in no hurry to deal with that situation). If I could have used the Pill to skip periods I would have done so in a heartbeat, but now that I'm older I probably would be worrying about the possible side effects. What's safe this decade will be deemed deadly next, or so it seems. I guess you just have to weigh the pros and cons and decide if the risk is worth it, but it helps to have a doc who is well versed in hormone therapies and wants to give you the best care and advice they can.

Well, I think the point is you were going to an OB/Gyn. We do not know if CP was going to one, or just a family physician. If you think about it, an OB/GYN is constantly in contact with this information, where as a family physician has to keep up to date on an even wider variety of topics. And we haven't even breached the discussion of age or backgrounds and beliefs of any doctor, all of which can affect the approach taken.

Oops, came in here by mistake.
Uh...
I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.
:closes door quietly:

I consider this thread a learning experience for me. Much like the "multiple stream" thread from last year must have been for the ladies.

Thanks for sharing and good luck, CP.

Given the subject: is that a setup?

My daily search of the keywoord 'boobs' led me in here.

Big mistake.

Wow, pretty loaded names those turn out to be. The first would start the jewish mother ball-of-guilt and fears rolling from the get go, and the latter would consign the child to bastardry straight from the womb! No wonder the two of you didn't have kids!

I'm in that crowd, too. The worst doctor I ever saw regularly was female, the best male. Just find one that respects your intelligence and that you feel comfortable with.

When I read this, trans-fat came immediately to mind.

I've been lucky, though I'm now 2 years past where my Mom was when she was 'done' with the monthly 'stuff'. I'd be willing (yea, like I have a choice) to go through menopause now (at 42) if I have as easy a time as she did with it. When we asked her about it, she couldn't remember when she started dealing with menopause, because it was so unmemorable.

This is based on my own personal experience (and I've had my share of medical fun) but most surgery now is such a piece of cake and had so few side effects that I don't see it as being unsafe at all. But, I've also had some pretty terrible experiences with hormone manipulation, so give me a one time surgery over a something that has caused some awful effects to my body.

But, I also come from a place where boobs are not enough for me to choose any of the options CP has brought up. I had a partial mastectomy 3 years ago and haven't done a damn thing to "correct it". There are parts of my body I'm not especially thrilled with, but I can deal with whatever the boobage gods have to dole out - as I can deal with the rest of my body.

And, regarding the doctor - if you're NOT seeing an ON/GYN then don't even make a decision until you do.

Considering all of the potential side effects of hormone therapy, especially all of the various cancers, I wouldn't take birth control just to get bigger breasts.

I get to have my annual exam this week. My current gyn is a man, the first I've had, and I'm actually fine with it. I always picked women before, but this time around I just went with geographical convenience -- he's in my current physician network. The only thing that was new to me was that there's always a nurse in the room during the exam.

There is a pill that gives you 3 periods a year. I forget what it is called.

I tried skipping the placebo for the week and going back to back with pills but I had an adverse reaction (bloating, weight gain, serious crankiness).

I vote for finding a new doc. Any doc that dismisses you like he did isn't worth your time.

I am just in awe of anyone who can take BC pills. With my chemical imbalances being on The Pill just made it that much worse. Instead of being on an emotional rollercoaster I was on an emotional drop ride with multiple bounces.

Right now I am already pre-menopausal. It is lovely (NOT!). My older sister laughs at me and was not believing me until she witnessed me in the midst of a hot flash.

I've been on the pill continuously since I was 18. I used to have really painful cramps, so I'm not looking forward to going off the pill and going through that again.

I've experienced the joys of hot flashes during my period...whee!
:eek:

Somehow I thought it would be an either/or situation.

What's with the big fear about hormone treatments? Newsflash, everyone ... by the time you're forty, most of your hormones have long gone, and the rest are on the fast track to nowhere-to-be-found. Once your hormones go, old age is fast-tracked.

Hormone replacement therapy is a godsend. Bioidentical stuff is the best, and it's going to be the Ponce de Leon for those who are smart enough and rich enough to do it wisely ... but DO IT.

At least for the menopausal HRT, the National Cancert Institute disagrees with you iSm, with significant increases in breast cancer risk, heart disease, and blot clots.

It may not generalize to all hormone replacement therapies (including bioidentical) and the studies aren't published yet, but I think there's valid reason to be concerned.

I don't have hormones? Well then WTF is my problem???? :p

But, really, while I have considered doing it for convenience sake, I hear the warnings about how if you have not taken bc pills before {along with warnings about smoking, etc.} you probably should not start. That must mean something.

I don't know what....

I was (finally) diagnosed with estrogen intolerance a few years back, which explained why I had such a horrid time with the Pill and PMS. I still (at 43) get severe PMS symptoms, but the doc prescribed appropriate meds (not hormones) to help and I haven't killed anyone- yet.

Hormones may be a godsend to some, but to me they're my worst nightmare. I know menopause will probably be a relief, but for now I'm sticking with the devil I know.

I am not a good candidate for HRT. My mom had a double masectomy at 46. I have already dealt with cervical cancer. It is just something that, with my family history, no sane Dr would ever want to prescribe.

So much to respond to! Thanks to everyone who's posted here.

My own history with the pill is that I had absolutely debilitating periods before I started taking the pill. Being in the fetal position once a month was not fun. On the pill, My mom said she had the same experience and I was kinda pissed she didn't recommend it to me earlier (though I totally understand why she didn't).

Regarding surgery vs hormones...I have never had surgery of any kind, and I don't intend to break that streak for elective surgery. I've also never had a piercing of any kind, no tatoos, and I don't dye my hair. But the hormones have been a part of my daily life for many years now and have not affected me badly. I have changed my pill type probably 4 times over the years due to insurance coverage changes and have never had a problem with any of them.

Erica is right - My doc is a family physician who does a pap. I have had probably something like 12 different doctors over the years, because of moving, switches in coverage, and I've ditched a few as well. Some were men and I've never felt that it was a problem. Perhaps seeing a real obgyn for this is a good idea, though.

Don't have time for more this morning! Back later.

Put me in the go to an OB/Gyn camp as well.

I have the equal number of crappy GYN's, both male and female. My old GP was the best, PAPs were like rolling off a log, my last GYN in VA, it was torture. Looking for a new one now as my old GP has now retired.

So much good advice here, I can't really add to it CP

It was a blessing to me for sure-

I had cancer at 30- treatment caused menopause. I went through over a year of hotflash misery before getting on HRT and I am SO much happier.

The Dr told me that I had to- because of my age if I had gone all those years without replacing those hormones I would do horrible damage to my bones, my body--not good.

Oddly enough being on HRT REDUCES my chances of getting the very cancer that caused the problem in the first place.

Coming into the convo a bit late, but put me in the go see a OB/Gyn and discuss it with someone who 'specializes' in the field. I don't have to worry/deal with the issue but I have to make the decisions for Brandy and right now we have her on Depo, she's one of the really lucky ones that she has no period, none, I schedule her shot exactly 12 weeks apart to the day and she doesn't even have a mild discharge, she still PMS's a bit each month and it's more noticible the month she is due to get her shot. As for the no period issue, the three specialists we consulted over her all agreed. There really is no "need" for any of us to cycle and bleed unless we're actively attempting to get pregnant. The b/c of choice be it pill or shot or novo ring all create a balance that eliminates the 'need'. Having said that, I also know that the docs were very agressive in checking Brandys total chem pannels and blood levels the first couple of years we put her on the shot due to the potential interaction with her other medications.

Yeah. This is what one side of my inner conversation keeps saying. Avoiding having a period would be fantastic though. I got over my ban on men rather quickly, mostly because I never really cared to visit the same doctor twice, and it was more like "give me whoever's available on this day at this time because that's when I have time for an appointment."

My last doctor, who I actually saw more than twice, was a really weird looking older man. When I first saw him I kinda freaked. His eyes are nearly shut all the time, and sometimes he does close his eyes while he's talking to you. Weird. But the pap itself was quick and no prob. Next time I needed an appointment, I discovered that this guy was much more readily available than any other doctor I'd seen. Having a homely man for a doctor has it's perks. ;)

Another out of the blue squeamish question - sex during your period? ;)

I don't know a lot about this as my daughter is older and I wasn't privy to chosing her BC.

She had been on it for a few years, gosh, maybe 4 or 5. {not sure} Well, she happened to switch ob/gyn and when they found out how long she'd been on it they immediately told her to stop taking it. According to this new doctor, Depro {gosh, you said Depo, is it the same thing? Or not?} can only be taken for a short time. Well, to them that is a couple of years. They made her have a bone density test because they said it could effect your bones.

Just thought I'd share it but then I might have the name wrong....are there two types with similar names????

She also loved it, by the way. Either no periods or very very light ones.

I also think it helped her with PMS but I'm not going to say THAT out loud. :D

CP~I've been married 24 years...I say, give me a break!! :p {oh, but if for BC, that is another matter....}

Damn, I hope my kids don't read this thread....

I agree that surgery itself is so much better now. My husband is a med-mal defense lawyer, mostly dealing with hospital infection cases. Unfortunately, these days, the infections you get in hospitals can be, and more often than you would expect are, extremely deadly. So that is more where I'm coming from.

I know there are a lot of people out there who have horrible experiences with hormones; that aside I totally applaude your acceptance of your body as it is. I like to think I would be that brave, but I honestly don't know if I could.

LOL! I suspect if they do, and get to your post, they will quickly exit. ;)

Yes, hospitals can be nasty places, however, who does surgery in a hospital anymore? How old fashioned! ;) My partial mastectomy and my appendectomy were both "drive-thru" surgeries. I wasn't even in a hospital but in an outpatient surgery center and was home within 4 hours. If I chose to have reconstruction/augmentation/reduction that would be done in the same setting.

I first thought that was unreasonable, but I see the benefits of "drive thru" surgery now.


On another note, I sure as hell hope I stay within my family tradition of easy menopause because I cannot take estrogen because the cancer I had thrives on it. Sigh.

Time for Greg to earn his Red Wings...

Wow. CM said it.

Eww, but mad props for it.

There was some damn pheromone that always got me incredibly horny when my last girlfriend was on her period.



The ik factor would take a back seat more often than not. :evil:

No ick factor, just a mess factor that frequently isn't worth the trouble.

But then that's why showers are generally large enough for two.

As he was about to dig in for my vasectomy, my urologist said, "Relax. They do this on street corners in China." La, la, la.

I'll post for MS - Brandy is a special needs sweetie. :)
Funny, just say the word sex and all the men show up. Why they were reading this thread, I'll never guess. ;)

Anyway - What Alex said is right on the money.
You've never had sex during a woman's period? I'm surprised.
Actually, the same thing happens to me. Another good reason to not have periods...though I don't know if I actually retained the drive while ditching the period...hmm.

Oh, I know Brandy!!! I know ~MS~ put a lot in to choosing what she did but I wasn't as fortunate to participate {have a clue?} in what mine did. I just wanted to share what I now know from what she has experienced. It was rather scary. Luckily her tests came back safe.

I do believe it is the same kind and I am curious~ was my daughters doctor misinformed?

At least as I use the term*, "red wings" are more specific than sex during a period. Different level of ick factor for many people. At least as we used it, it was performing oral sex on a woman during her period.




*Glad to know the phrase has some general currency. I've never heard it used outside of the people I went to junior high with so I had decided it was a regionalism.

"Red wings" is a Hell's Angels reference.

From Hunter S. Thompson's Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga

...and now you know the rest of the story.

It's good to know that us poor suburban kids were hip to the Hell's Angels lingo.

For a while, the "why is pubic hair curly" joke and the meaning of "red wings" was the extend of my conception of oral sex.

Okay, so where are the Wiccans, please?
 

In matrifocal cultures, menstruation is powerful and sacred. In our patriarchal society, menstruation is disempowered and chemically suppressed. Menstruation is not "the curse".

Sex during menstruation... Not really for me. It's the clean-up factor, to begin with. I have had sex during, but.. meh.. I'd rather do "other things" during that time.

Sex during, no. I concur, the mess and ick factor. The mess and the ick factor are quite enough on their own.

A few days before, absolutely yes.:evil:

So where does this fit in?

http://www.mikvahproject.com/infoabout2.html

http://www.pass.to/newsletter/take_me_to_the_mikveh.htm

The second article answers your question really well. Fun fact: I actually knew a woman in college whose last name was Mikvah, although it might have been spelled with a "c".

Are there women here who practice mikveh?

Well, it answers it, but does it answer it in a good way or in an internalized victimization way: "I like being a prostitute; it's empowering." "I put the boot on my own throat." Etc.

Interesting. So they do it for different reasons, in different ways, on different occasions and still call it the same thing?

Why not just give it a new name and remove any controversy?

Did anyone say "the curse"? Not me. I'm not offended by the term though. We are all bound by our bodily requirements, part of the reason we drink caffeine, eat large meals, and use toilet paper.

I may sound crazy to you, but I will say very easily that I don't want my menstration "empowered". I don't want to be respected for a body function. I would like to "suppress" it. In Jr. High I was let out from school for horrific cramps on multiple occasions. I would go home and lay in the fetal position in bed, or do the knees on my chest thing, just wishing I could pass out from the pain. I have memories of entire outings (Magic Mountain, for one) ruined for me due to surprise periods and crippling cramps. Only after I disempowered and chemically suppressed my sacred blessing from Mother Earth's womb was I ever really free of it.

I know that my period is a monthly reminder that I can give birth, and that's a wonderful thing. But the reminder itself can fvck off. I understand what you are trying to say about womanhood, but I've given myself one too many cotton injections and ruined too many pairs of pants to forget that having my period sucks, regardless of whether we're a matriarchal or patriarchal society. (How come you used "patriarchal" but not "matriarchal"?)

I don't have much experience with Mikveh. I find it very similar to the ritual washing of hands before meals, and the laws against "unclean" animals. These were great ideas to help keep things healthy before scientific inquiry was invented. As far as ancient traditions go, us Jews were the cleanest, I guess.

Been there, believe me. And I have even been told by another woman that my hysterectomy was due to me buying into the patriarchy. I am not kidding.

A large part of me is thinking menstrual/physical suppression equals emotional suppression of yet another generation of women. Let's personalize this. I'm thinking of my two daughters, ages 17 and 14. I want things to be different for them than they were for me. I hope my two daughters can resist the constant bombardment of messages that teach women to dread menstruation, to conform to media-driven images of beauty, to become a silent, smiling, nodding people-pleaser. There has to be a correlation between our society's menstrual taboo and rampant low self-esteem expressed by eating disorders (and other things).

Media-driven images to dread menstruation??!!? Pardon me, but WTF?

First of all, since when has the media been necessary for women to dread the bad moods, nasty pain, and bloody inconvenience of a cycle that affects a third of their existence?

Secondly, please point me to more than one of these purported media images. Perhaps I'm not as attuned to it as a women, but aside from tampon commercials - I've not witnessed any advertising, any movies, tv shows, music or fashion that in any way even addresses the menstrual cycle. Perhaps the taboo of the subject in our society is not the best thing ... but it hardly makes for lots of media-driven images.

Any Midol or "feminine hygiene spray" commercial is a good place to start.

ETA: I love this parody of a Midol commercial. Actually, it's the exact script of the commercial, only the women are played by young men.

Oh how I miss those Massengill commercials...

"Do you ever have that not-so-fresh feeling?"

"Mom, do you douche?"

There are a lot of commercials that lament the female 'time'. They've had some that poke fun at it 'Is she pmsing'? while the girl in question is wearing a bikini and in a good mood.

They talk about bloating, fatigue, etc. The latest commercial I say had the women all miserably flailing about, some trying to zip up their pants.

As always there is the question of to what degree media is simply reflecting the way women (as a composite average, huge variation in individuals) feel about their period or whether media is creating (as a composite average, huge variation in individuals) how women feel about their periods.

There's a huge difference between "that's a god sign that you are unclean, inferior, and generally despicable" and "wouldn't you rather not go through monthly discomfort." We control our bodies in so many other unnatural ways (including procreatively) that I don't see why menstruation would be some sacred inviolable area.

I'm not sure why there has to be a correlation between menstrual taboo and low self esteem, but if there is I'm sure it would be readily discoverable since the populations are pretty well self-defining and do a fair job of crossing socioeconomic lines. Do you know if anybody has done research into this?

Pretty much everything that come out of the human body is considered somewhat taboo (except, maybe, breast milk) so it isn't really surprising that there'd be some simliar attachment to mentruation.

Just don't breast feed it in public!

I have to admit, I have not had the time to read up on the links, so, I hadn't realized the 'unclean' 'low self esteem' issues.

I've never had either feelings. It has always just been something to have and be done with. I know a lot of moms who put their daughters on it {the pill} to help them with painful periods or to help regulate them. So, I've always looked at it as something we can/should have control over. Not it having control over us.

I think if it is possible to not have it for convenience sake, what a great opportunity. It isn't so nice to have to work and deal with it, that's for sure.

But, playing with my hormones does concern me. Personally. My body is on a nice even keel and while it would have helped me greatly when I was younger {although no one ever explained that it could do more than just prevent pregnancy} as I suffered greatly as it sounds like you did, CP.

Now, I have control over it not vice versa.

I even bought nice crisp white sheets. :p

Everything I learned, I learned from Disney.

well, not really.

I got too bored to watch it all the way through ;)

Midol was my savior for years until I developed reactions to strong painkillers. I now only use Midol for really bad times, which don't happen much anymore. I have nothing against Midol and other wonderful products that reduce pain.

Regarding commercials - commercials are commercials and will always say anything to sell their products. Talking about women being bitchy or bloated doesn't offend me - I've been both, have seen women being both, and know that both are wonderful things to avoid. I'm much more offended by the commercials for surface disinfectants. The idea that they are frighting the already OCD populace into believing that the whole house needs to be sanitized before touching it is pretty evil, especially in light of our already over use of antibiotics.

What he said.

Douching has had lots of bad press lately and IMHO rightfully so. Blech.

White sheets, Mousewife? Now that's freedom. ;)

I agree completely and would further add, "wouldn't you rather avoid the inconvienience?"

I am one of the lucky ones, my period causes no symptoms (other than the bleeding, of course), it's short, light and occurs like clockwork. Having said that, I would prefer to avoid it...not to the extent that I'm anxious for menopause or anything, but just because, well, because it's inconvienient.

And at least in my case, feelings of inconvienience are wholly different from feelings of dread or emotional suppression.

And I have to say that, while I'm sure it exists, I just don't believe that I've ever experienced society's "menstrual taboo".

See, I'm in a different position. My periods are irregular to the point of being wholly unpredictable, they last for a full week (hey, used to be 8 days!), and the pain can be unbearable. Something akin to having a knife drawn across my uterus. I'm seriously NOT kidding.

Thank god for Aleve, or I'd not be able to function in the "real world" Find a job that would tolerate you suddenly and unpredictably needing to go home due to being in screaming pain.

The general ickiness is a minor inconvenience next to that of never knowing when or if the cramps are suddenly going to take you down in a matter of seconds.

If you want to see a wonderful film on the period - Check out "The Pink Slip- A Period Film" - It was a bonus clip on the Dinah Shore Portal to Hell DVD - what's wrong with that girl's forehead?

Ooo, Morri. Your doctor hasn't offered you anything? Sounds like me in the beginning. 8 days was the norm. But, gradually it has gone down to only 3 maybe 4. Some other symptoms but nothing that I want to mess with. I can tolerate it. I don't even take pain meds because I am concerned it will only make my flow heavier? Not sure.

And, yes, it was quite exhilarating to buy those white sheets. Decadent even.

Yeah, he offered me Anaprox in 500mg pills, of which I could take up to three.

Anaprox was the prescription form before Naproxen Sodium became available over the counter as Aleve. So now I buy Aleve, and amazingly, can get away with far less now that I've learned "how" to take it. Hit the pain early and you can take less. Wait till the pain is bad, and you have to hit it with a lot and it will take a while to kick in.

But if you translate my 1500mg dosage allowance into the 220mg Aleve pills... I can take about 7. Luckily I usually keep it down to 2-4. But if I've taken 4 pills, you can be damn sure I'm not going anywhere without another 2 in my pocket just in case. Then again, if I've taken 4, I've probably started to head home.

I used Anaprox and Naproxen frequently until I got ulcer pains. Now I'm too sensitive to use it. Just one dose will come back to haunt me. I miss that stuff. :(

Only on LoT can a discussion about periods and boobs turn into feminism and matriarchal rituals. I fvcking love this place.

Well, here and the dinner table at my house. We try not to do it when the kids have guests. Don't always succeed.

Why does that surprise you?

And yes, I have.

Well, then it doesn't surprise me. :) I thought it fairly common.

One month later, Blueerica rezzes a thread...

So yeah, due to a few good reasons, I decided to skip a period while on the Nuvaring last month.

Now that I'm a couple of days before my period I have been experiencing the worst cramps of my 16 years of "womanhood." I felt like I was being stabbed from all directions and could barely move. The pain subsided, but occasionally comes back. I've been frustrated all day, which I partly attribute to PMS, and I just wanted to cry for no apparent reason by the days end.

Mind you, I'm not at ALL like this during my normal cycle... maybe a tiny bit weepy and just a bit frustrated. No cramps or nausea, thankfully, on a regular basis.

Could this be the result of not having my period? Amongst us, do we have an experience in this for my curious mind?

No experience but I do have sympathy. Here, take a freshly-baked chocolate chip cookie. Take two. You need them. I hope today is a better one for you.

Also, I loved your phrase "15 years of womanhood", even if it made me calculate my own at 39 years. :)

Well, as for me, if I skip one or more cycles, the next cycle or two is h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. Everything is intensified twice over.

Of course, for me, once I turned 40, everything changed anyway and I'm playing in a whole new ball game. And I've not hit the change yet, either.

So that's my experience. Eveyone else's mileage may vary

Well, I have to say things seem better today. I'm wary and considering stopping by the store to pick up some PMS/cramps style pills to pop. I've have never, ever, ever in my life had anything like that happen... I have so much sympathy now for people who say that's what their normal periods are like. How lucky I have had it.

If I'm anything like my mom and my aunt, perimenopause should be awesome. Not!

I get the same thing if I skip. More cramping etc than usual.

You know, I had really awful periods when I was young. It wasn't until after I had kids I realized this pain was like contractions. Not the severe the kid is about to pop out kind but still. Or, even more comparable to the cramping you get after you deliver, the uterus contracting. So f'ing painful.

Sort of like my early periods. I don't understand why they were so painful. But, they were irregular.

I would think {not know} that yes, messing with the hormones may have played a part in how you feel.

Mmmm....coookies.......

Feel better, chickie. :)

I never had cramps when I skipped a period. But I had them for each period, so there you go.

Feel better, babe. Sleep always helps me a lot, and if you take the painkillers as the pain is beginning to build, you have a better chance of heading it off before it cripples you.

And chocolate, lots of chocolate. :)

Yes, chocolate is good stuff. Oh, and red meat :)

BE - I agree with you assesment. Yes, if I skip, I have massive issues the next cycle. I just want to curl up in bed.

I have never heard anyone else cite red meat, thank you for validating me!

This is exactly what it made me do too. 28 years was a scary number.

Nice to know I'm not the only one who gets a little iron-deficient ;) My appetite gets ALL wacky around that time. Sometimes I'm ravenous, and other times I can hardly eat (usually the bad cramp periods). Mostly, right before and during the first few days, I'm all about the red meat :)

Just calculated mine at 24 - beeing a late bloomer isn't a bad thing.

<3 Thank you - all of you!

So far, so good today. I can see it now - talking with a rep from some amazing company at the expo today... <insert nastiest cramp ever right here>.

Honestly, I can't wait to have my period. Get this sucker OVER with!

Or watch, I'll start it while talking to Mr. or Ms. Amazing Recruiter.

Another red meat gal here...

I'm currently in the first month off the pill since I was 18. That's a lot of year on the pill, and I never missed a month. I feel all kinds of weird this month. Weird back pains and aches that I don't remember. I'm not looking forward to the actual bleeding thing. I remember that they used to be pretty awful.