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For Men Only Part 2: More Adventures At The Urinal
Summer is here, and that means short pants. And that means getting my legs splashed every time I use a public urinal. It seems like this has only happened for about the last ten years. I don't know whether to attribute this relatively recent development to new designs in urinals, e.g., not as deep, less front lip, lower mounting on the wall, etc. or to some change in my arc or stance.
How do you all handle this? |
Urine is sterile. Don't worry about it.
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Urine is sterile when fresh. It won't stay that way.
But I can't say as this is a frequent problem I've encountered. I suggest standing farther back (say four feet) and then slowly sliding forward as stream diminishes. |
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But, seriously, I doubt I've seen anyone stand four feet back from a urinal (or other target) since grade school. The width of the average urinal partition suggests that such an approach is not common. |
It's all about angles. Ideally, you want to hit the urinal surface at an obtuse angle. The closer you get to 180° the lower chance you'll be hit. So if possible, don't stand directly in front of the urinal (I know dividers can make this impossible) or at least aim your stream as much as possible to the side. I've seem some urinals whose back wall is designed to facilitate this effect. I like those!
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Or just pee in the sink.
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I'm starting to realize why Eric's bathroom (IE toilet) is so disgusting.
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You don't even want to go into the time when direction of aim and destination are mysteriously divergent things.
Or the dreaded split stream. |
Or you could sit while you pee like I do. In fact, I sit side saddle.
:D I'm kidding, of course. |
Absolutely fascinating!
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<necromantic powers activate>
I have recently discovered the joy of using the kiddie urinal. The main loo I use at work has urinals that are relatively rectangular and a drain that is about six inches below my babalones. I.e., they're spatter-riffic. But one day not too long ago I was "forced" to use the kiddy urinal because the other one was in use and I needed to "go". Because it is the same size as the standard configuration, just mounted lower on the wall (in fact the top is below my junk), I quickly realized this gave be a huge advantage when it came to creating obtuse angles. Now I use it all the time and my legs don't get golden showered. |
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I'm still just happy if none goes up my nose. I'll consider avoiding leg splash to be an advanced peeing skill.
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The splash factor is the main reason I avoid urinals.
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It not being proper to check out other guy's junk is my main reason.
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'Cause if they're not discrete then it's just missing wall.
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I suggest major universities adopt a "urinal sciences" program to study such issues.
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And for the shy guys, special bonus information - Can't get Willie to relax and make with the yellow when there are folks about? Scratch inside your navel and brace for the roaring stream. Which reminds me... Hi, Wendy!! Quote:
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LOl!!!!!!! Geeze, Scrooge- that should make people wonder.......:D
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Btw, and totally off topic- we're booked at the Grand Villas (two bedroom) from 6/16/10 through 6/22/10. There are three bathrooms, so when we have our Swank Villa gathering, you guys can whiz to your hearts content.
(So you'd better plan on being there, Sam!) |
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Learning old wives tales about old man's stuff. Not worth the internet it's printed on, I daresay. Scratch inside the naval! Who makes this stuff up?
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Probably a guy about to play a horrible joke on his boy's school roommate.
"ok, yeah, that's a good grip. Now look at it closely....now, stick your finger in my bellybutton...ha ha ha ha ha...you fell for it, you're so gay!" |
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Learned that trick as a wee lad. Works. Every. Time. |
was that a pun?
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I always go for the "short" urinal - for similar reasons SM describes. I've never tried the navel thing - but being a bit pee-shy I wonder if going through the motions of a navel scratch might make me even more self-conscious.
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I think I've identified the problem....
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<necromantic powers reactivate>
Four physicists at Brigham Young University study the problem of backsplash while peeing standing up. The angle suggestion was nothing new, but I had never factored in proximity. |
Interesting article. I love the film clips also. The funny thing was that an article on urinating backsplash caused a nextag ad for kitchen backsplash! A very unfortunate and gross connection...
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