No day but today...
 

A couple of years after coming out of the closet, I felt really, really alone. You know, alone? After leaving the safety zone of college and the comfort it provided, I had a tight group of friends, but I wasn't close with anyone who was gay. And a boyfriend was about two years in the future for me.

I lost my virginity in college after shooting a stage show fund raiser at a hotel in Anaheim. He and I finished our camera work for the stage show and fvcked each other's brains out in one of the hotel rooms. It was exhilarating.
But I guess I still felt empty afterwards.

The media was pounding everyone with images of people dying of AIDS and I felt like I was in constant mourning about acquaintances dying left and right. I lost someone who had helped me come out of the closet and felt helpless and damaged.

But a change was coming.

Being the freak I was about Steven Spielberg, I devoured anything that had his name attached. And when one of Dreamworks' first CDs came out I grabbed it without knowing anything about it.

It was the soundtrack for a new Broadway musical called "Rent".


I was absolutely blown the fvck out of the water. For once in my life I heard a love song between two men ("I'll Cover You) and a sort-of love song between two women ("Take Me of Leave Me"). It held strength in its words and felt empowered listening to it.

In the musical, people were celebrating themselves while the world seemed to be falling apart around them. I realized instantly that I was one of them. I finally felt okay about me.


When I had a chance to see it on stage at the Ahmanson's Theatre in LA, I was once again blown out of the water. Not the original cast, but a good one. Wilson Cruz was a wonderful Angel. After shaking his hand backstage, he got a call from Broadway that he was going to play Angel there. It was such a cool moment.

Like "Hair" impacted a generation, "Rent" had an impact on mine. It has a very special place in my heart.

The movie wasn't the best, but it was a chance for me to see a majority of the original cast in action. It was nice. (I'm watching it right now.)

A couple of days ago, after a long time not listening to the original soundtrack, I dusted it off and indulged once again. It still holds the same power for me now as it did back then.


Now, every so often, I'm going to take a break at the Life Cafe and enjoy life and everything in general. It's also a wonderful reminder to myself that there's an artist still living in this body somewhere.

So right now, I just wanted to share some of what I'm feeling right now. The positive vibes and the happy I'm experiencing.

Cheers, y'all.

La vie boheme!
:cool:

I wish I'd seen the show. Hated the movie. Love that the piece helped you out.

:snap: :snap: :snap:


Great post GC. I think we all strive for something to identify with - our own Rent in life.

Ditto.

and la vie boheme indeed!

Hazzah to the happy and positive vibes!

Hazzah to releasing the artist within!



I love you, Gemini Cricket!!

:) :) :)

Stories and music that speak to us are invaluable friends. We've all had our moment of finding something powerful in something someone else created. It's a flash of truth that clears away the clouds of self-doubt. We all crave to find others that feel as we do and know an even better way to look at it.

I'm so glad you found that in Rent. :)

Really? I've only seen the movie, and liked it. The play must be wonderful then!

Maybe we could put on our own revival. Gemini Cricket could play one of the leads, and we will cast gay swankers in all the other gay roles.

Thank you GC.


I had friends in L.A. that had told me about the show, how powerful it was... then it went to NY, and they happened to be there.
Being huge Broadway musical fan, and a fruit fly from the word go, I was sent a sweatshirt from Broadway, a CD of my very own, and a video of press footage that included a note, "Tell no one where you got this"

I was in love.

I wanted to be Mimi, all encompassing. Unfortunaltley, there is far too much of me to be a convincing drug addict.
So, I settled for Joanne. But with no one looking, I can still belt the hell out of Mimi.
I learned La Boheme in HS and college, so the story was easy for me to follow. Figuring out the intricacies was the hardest part.

All the men were powerful singers, and for me thats a huge part of loving any musical.

The story of Angel and Collins, thier love, and subsequnetly, thier loss, was very importatnt to me at the time.
I had just found out my dearest friend, and love in the world was HIV positive. I know, its not a death sentance anymore. Still.
It doesnt change the fact that I was upset that he had known for four years, and not told me.

To this day, I cannot hear "I'll Cover You Reprise" with out feeling the pang, and I cannot see that number live without weeping. I fear that someday I will be in that same place, and I do NOT look forward to it.

It had a very different impact and my reasons for loving it are different, but I'm right there with you GC.
I've now seen the show five times. Not enough to make me a true rent-head. But enough to know when its being done right.

love....absolutely love Rent in all its forms.
dug the movie
loved the stage version when it was here in SD

the first time I saw it (the movie version was my first viewing in full although Id heard the soundtrack for quite awhile) the act where Angel lay dying, his lover by his side ripped me to shreds as Id just lived it. still breaks me down like a house of cards to see

yeah, one of my faves to be sure

Why would I want to see a musical about a bunch of homos and other degenerates?

You know, I actually had someone in a theatre once say almost that exact thing.
Her companion turned to her and said, "Oh please stop saying that, its my birthday, and this is what I want to see. If you want to leave, call a cab"

I had to do everything I could to not laugh out loud.

Now, in response to you...... Becuase the girls are TOTALLY CUTE and wear skimpy clothes, and one gets to do a stellar pole/staircase dance. ;)

well.... You have been known to wear a french maid's outfit from time to time....

Ponine,
I totally hear you. I felt like I was transformed by the show. It hit on so many chords of what was going on in my world at the time that I had no choice but to love all of it.
What also hit me recently was a documentary that's on the DVD of the film. It talks about Jonathan Larson and gives such a wonderful picture about who he was. Such an amazing man. One of my heroes.

Lately, I have been on Cloud 9. Not sure why. I guess I'm always looking for a reason, maybe I shouldn't. But I'm so into the 'no day but today' aspect of the show and applying it to my life. Life's short, baby. :)

I'm at total peace with everything right now. I'm 100% cool with my folks, my sisters, my grandma, with my chosen family... All is well. I hope the feeling lasts. If my life was a movie, I'd suddenly be coughing and then in Act 3 I'd be dead. :D Let's hope not for that.

Dark clouds may fall on me sometimes, but I'll work it out....

Nope, I have honestly never done that.

A Playboy Bunny and a Tooth Fairy, yes. But never a French Maid - that would be weird.

You lovely man! A billion snaps up!

And hear, hear to what CP said, too.

(Also, I have a box full of tapes for you that my mother handed over on Christmas Day. A lot of QAF goodness awaits you.)

I stand corrected.

How awesome is Mama Hodgkins? Very. :)

Do I want to know what a "QAF" is?

She's very awesome. You and I will have to arrange for the pick-up. Good thing we live relatively close to each other!

Queer As Folk - a show on Showtime about dem homosexual types

It's about gay people? In that case, I'm afraid I'm going to have to burn those tapes, GC. Sorry!!!!

When my older brother got married, he asked me to sing at his wedding. He and his wife chose "I'll Cover You," not only because they loved it, but because her parents are very fundie Baptists, and this meant that her family would unknowingly be hearing an ode to gay love in the halls of theire very conservative church. I was delighted to help out.

I've seen RENT on stage four times, and for a while, I thought it might be my favorite musical. Sadly, I over-exposed myself to it, and eventually, its songs became unwelcome brainworms for me. (It happens to music that I love from time to time. There are some things that simply wear out their welcome, and others that I seem to be able to revisit indefinitely without negative effects. I was sad to discover that RENT went into the "please, no more" category, as the show does mean a lot to me. Oh, and I thought the movie pretty much bit.)

I know, sometimes it's hard to see one's own life on the big screen. :p

My "Rent" experience was seeing "A Chorus Line" for the first time around 1976. The monologue from the dancer who's parents didn't know he was gay just knocked me over. A couple of years later, it was the movie, "Fame." 10 years later, when the shock of AIDS started turning to anger, we started saying things like, "Fvck you if you don't like the fact that I'm gay. My friends are dying and I've got better things to worry about."

Here we are now. People are still dying of AIDS, though not without a much longer lifespan through various drug treatments. People are still dying of all the things they died of before, drug addiction, suicide, car wrecks, and occasionally, blessedly, plain-old old age. I love my friends, I love you guys, I love my life.

La vie boheme!