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Gemini Cricket 01-09-2008 12:02 AM

a bittersweet trip
 
I'm leaving tomorrow for Honolulu.
I'm jumping on a plane to be with my grandma.
The woman that raised me is not going to be around very much longer.
She has pneumonia and a collapsed lung.
She's at the hospital and they said she isn't doing well.
I'm dropping everything for now and going home where I feel I can be of some help and comfort.
I had a good 'ol cry with NA earlier but I'm doing much better.
A quick zip of a credit card and I'm off to Hawai'i tomorrow afternoon.
I would rather visit her now instead of at her funeral.
I feel that if I don't go, I'll regret it.

I'm throwing sh!t in a large duffle bag now. I have no idea what I'm packing...
:D

I can't even start to tell you how wonderful my grandmother is.



Aloha, Nana.

innerSpaceman 01-09-2008 12:36 AM

oh, gemini cricket ... i am so sad at hearing this, and yet so pleased that you are doing to right and loving and perfect thing.


love and peace with you, my friend, and with your wonderul grandma.

Bornieo: Fully Loaded 01-09-2008 01:00 AM

All my best thoughts Brad! You do what you feel is right...

Morrigoon 01-09-2008 01:12 AM

I'm so sorry Brad. But glad for you that you're going to get to be with her and she with you :)

Motorboat Cruiser 01-09-2008 01:34 AM

Have a safe trip and much love to you. I think you made the right decision to go be with her.

Disneyphile 01-09-2008 01:42 AM

So sorry. :(

I hope you and Nana share wonderful moments that will last an eternity.

*hugs*

wendybeth 01-09-2008 02:04 AM

Your Nana sounds like a wonderful woman, and if she is the one who raised you she did a terrific job. I'm glad you are going now- you can be there for her while she's still here, and I'm sure she'll be so happy to see you.

Big hugs from us all.

Deebs 01-09-2008 02:55 AM

I have to agree, she helped make you into such a warm and loving person.

I'm so glad you are going home to be with her. If you had not made the choice to zip the credit card, I think you would have always regretted it.

Watching someone you love slip away is so hard. I was with my dad when he died just over a year ago, and it was very painful. But I would not change anything about it, and am so grateful that I was with him in his last moments.

Gah, I am crying for you now. I am just so sorry. You will never regret being there for your Nana. I'm thinking of you and wishing you strength.

DreadPirateRoberts 01-09-2008 05:02 AM

GC, I am so sorry. I think you are doing the right thing.

Strangler Lewis 01-09-2008 05:58 AM

Somehow, have a good trip doesn't cut it. Best wishes to you both.

mousepod 01-09-2008 07:15 AM

I'm sorry to hear this news, but so happy that you're taking action to go and say goodbye. She raised a good kid.

3894 01-09-2008 07:50 AM

Take care of yourself so you can take care of your grandma, Gemini Cricket.

Edited to add: If you're in the hospital waiting room with your laptop, click this.

Moonliner 01-09-2008 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket (Post 184362)
I would rather visit her now instead of at her funeral.
I feel that if I don't go, I'll regret it.

Absolutely.

Best wishes to you and your Grandmother.

Snowflake 01-09-2008 08:13 AM

Oh GC, my condolences and I wish you a safe trip. I think you are 100% good to go and have some quality time to spend with your wonderful Grandmother. I know she will love seeing you and it will be a great opportunity for you to make sure she knows how wonderful and grateful you are to have her in your life, now and forever.

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

LSPoorEeyorick 01-09-2008 08:20 AM

Oh, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

~MS~ 01-09-2008 08:24 AM

Oh Brad, I'm so sorry to open the LoT this morning to this news. Safe travels, don't worry about what makes it in the duffle, they have stores on the island. Your nana won't care what you're wearing just that you loved her enough to be there ... sending up prayers for you both. Remember you have a lot of people (no pun intended) that love and care about you sweetie....big big hugs.

cirquelover 01-09-2008 09:50 AM

I'm so sorry. You are doing the right thing and I'm glad you have the ability to go be with her. So go, tell her how you feel and enjoy your time with her, she sounds like a special lady.

Have a safe trip and take care.

Ghoulish Delight 01-09-2008 09:53 AM

GC, I'm sorry to hear this. Enjoy your remaining time with her, she's lucky to have had a grandkid like you.

BarTopDancer 01-09-2008 09:56 AM

/hugs. Enjoy your time with her - and take care of yourself.

Scrooge McSam 01-09-2008 10:00 AM

All my best to you, GC. Your Nana will be so happy to see you. You're giving her a great gift.

{{{{{Brad}}}}}

libraryvixen 01-09-2008 10:13 AM

Your grandma can only benefit from having you there with her. Safe travels Brad!

Love from me and Boo.

Cadaverous Pallor 01-09-2008 10:18 AM

I am glad you are able to travel there in her last days. We'll be thinking of you.

Not Afraid 01-09-2008 10:21 AM

Have a safe flight and give your Grandma a hug from all of us at loT who love you. Take care of yourself and calle me and let me know how things are.

Kevy Baby 01-09-2008 10:26 AM

{{{{{Brad}}}}}

JWBear 01-09-2008 10:36 AM

<<HUGS>> Brad.

Gemini Cricket 01-09-2008 10:49 AM

Thanks, you guys are so very awesome.
:)


By the way, anyone want to go for me? Big family = heap big drama.
The latest reports are fighting family members and theft.
:D

Oy vey!

wendybeth 01-09-2008 10:54 AM

Yikes, GC- sounds like we may be related! This sort of thing tends to bring out the best and worst in people.

Kevy Baby 01-09-2008 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket (Post 184452)
The latest reports are fighting family members and theft.

Could make for an interesting side show on the trip.

katiesue 01-09-2008 11:05 AM

I'll be thinking about you and your Nana. You're doing the right thing.

madmonkeygirl 01-09-2008 11:14 AM

a bittersweet trip
 
Brad my condolences to you. Glad you made the decision to say your final goodbye now. Know it's rather difficult for you. I was able to do the same thing with both my grandma and grandpa on my mom's side. Oh btw when you come back i need to talk to you about April. Take care of yourself. Prayers go out to you.

NirvanaMan 01-09-2008 11:47 AM

I think your making the right call. Cherish those last moments.

blueerica 01-09-2008 01:22 PM

I echo the above sentiments.

I wish you well on your trip home.

alphabassettgrrl 01-09-2008 03:13 PM

(((hugs))) I think it's wonderful that you can go see her now while she's still here. She did a great job with you, as evidenced again by the fact that you are making that long trip to see her. I don't think you'll regret going, but you'd regret passing up this last chance to see her.

Travel safely.

Your family is already stealing and fighting? Wow. I hope you escape the family drama unscathed.

belleh5 01-09-2008 04:22 PM

GC, I am so sorry! The same thing happened to my family when my grandmother died 6 years ago. Sadly all her money went to court fees and now I only have one uncle. Good luck & have a safe trip! (((((Hugs)))))

Tom 01-09-2008 08:21 PM

Our thoughts and hopes are with you, and please call on us if there is anything we can do or any way we can help.

CoasterMatt 01-09-2008 08:27 PM

{{{GC}}}}

Not Afraid 01-09-2008 08:59 PM

He texted me from the plane. He got an exit row! And....he's got all male flight attendants = gay a picnic baskets.

I love our GC.

Snowflake 01-09-2008 10:50 PM

Oh bless his heart! That's a real plus for the trip!

Cadaverous Pallor 01-09-2008 11:02 PM

Wait, picnic baskets are gay?

Not Afraid 01-10-2008 12:14 AM

Latest text: "The Queen has landed."

wendybeth 01-10-2008 12:20 AM

I love GC. He's such a sweetie, even in the midst of heartache. I hope all goes well for him and his Nana.

NickO'Time 01-10-2008 01:22 AM

Hugs too the Cricket.

Snowflake 01-10-2008 09:17 AM

The Queen has landed and I am sure he looked fetching in his welcome lei. I only hope some hunky surfer boy did the honors!

Morrigoon 01-10-2008 10:56 AM

All male flight attendants and he got lei'd on landing? Special, special boy :)

Chernabog 01-10-2008 11:29 AM

All my love to you Braddock, you're doing the right thing by going. Just hang in there and call me if you need to talk!!! Don't worry about the fishies :P

Snowflake 01-10-2008 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morrigoon (Post 184731)
All male flight attendants and he got lei'd on landing? Special, special boy :)


Well, I am assuming he got lei'd :D

sleepyjeff 01-10-2008 02:22 PM

My Best Wishes GC.

Gemini Cricket 01-12-2008 11:31 AM

A Nana update:

Believe it or not, she's going to be checking out of the hospital today and checking back in to her care home. The fluids cleared up from her chest and she's recovering. Amazing woman.

She's still in a coma-like state where she comes and goes, but she did respond to a couple of her visitors. The hospital has this amplifier headset that she wears so she can hear people. When certain people talk into it, she can hear them. She could hear me and my aunt from Vancouver. It was neat.

I'll update y'all more later.

The family has calmed down. All seems to be okay.

:)

JWBear 01-12-2008 11:35 AM

Glad to hear she's doing better!

Deebs 01-12-2008 11:42 AM

Yay! Go, Nana!

This is just great news. Thank you for letting us know, I have been checking back here and thinking about you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your time there.

~MS~ 01-12-2008 11:53 AM

That is wonderful news Brad, now you get to spend even 'better' quality time with her....she's going to be so happy to have her boy there for a bit.

Not Afraid 01-12-2008 12:35 PM

That's wonderful news!

Bornieo: Fully Loaded 01-12-2008 01:02 PM

Awesome news!!

Motorboat Cruiser 01-12-2008 01:59 PM

Wonderful to hear this news, GC! :)

Snowflake 01-12-2008 03:31 PM

Brad, this is awesome news!
Hug your Nana real hard from your friend here, make sure she knows I think she raised the bees knees!

Maybe you can also enjoy some real Hawaian BBQ! ;)

katiesue 01-12-2008 03:42 PM

Great News!

wendybeth 01-12-2008 07:48 PM

Too cool, Brad- I was hoping to see a post like this! You're Nana sounds like a very resilient lady.:)

alphabassettgrrl 01-12-2008 09:51 PM

That's awesome, Brad!
**hugs**
-k

Cadaverous Pallor 01-13-2008 12:25 AM

Yay! :)

Scrooge McSam 01-13-2008 05:11 AM

That's excellent news to wake up to!

I'm so happy for you. Thanks for the update.

Morrigoon 01-13-2008 10:47 AM

Brad, I'm so glad to hear it. And she must be pretty pleased to see the lengths to which you will go out of love for her. And now you can spend some happy time with her.

Gemini Cricket 01-17-2008 06:14 PM

Back in California.

An interesting week, indeed.

First off, my grandma is doing better. The pneumonia has cleared up and her lungs seem to be fine. She's still in a state where she isn't very responsive, but her condition is much improved. She will be checking back into her home either tonight or tomorrow.

My trip was amazingly enlightening and relaxing.
I got to catch up with my immediate family and my favorite aunt. She lives in Vancouver now and I haven't talked to her in about 5 years or so.

I found out quickly that my role for this trip was going to be comic relief, so I ran with it. There was so much grief, regret and anger that my only choice was to counter it with humor. I think it worked. My feeling was that in hard times like this, you can either let it destroy you or you can endure it and live on.

My grandma was not responding to anyone when I arrived. When she responded to me and my aunt, the family was convinced that visits from us out-of-towners improved her condition. I told them that it was possible that she was just ignoring everyone and really wanted to sleep.

Something I learned is that when a person comes to from a long coma-like state, the person that emerges isn't necessarily a wide-eyed, kind soul. Sometimes, a person will be exactly as curmudgeonly as they were when they were last seen. My grandma was that way. She woke once to tell everyone that she had a headache and someone should do something about it or else. Hysterical. What I also found out is that a person in that state isn't necessarily forgiving either, being so close to knocking on heaven's door. Trying to jog Nana's memory, we listed off family members to see if she remembered them. Her least favorite daughter (a family member who stole from my grandma and was a starring character at my grandfather's funeral fiasco) was intentionally 'forgotten' by my grandma. She said she didn't have a daughter named Vera. But all signs pointed to the fact that she knew her but just didn't acknowledge her. Very, very telling.

Anyway, all seems to be back to normal for now.

I will continue about this trip in another thread. Something stunningly revealing happened to me that I'd like to share. But as it has little to do with Nana, I'll start another discussion about it. And, as I am battling the time change and the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, I'm kinda worn out at the moment.

Thanks for all the kudos and support sent my grandma's way. It worked.

:)

Bornieo: Fully Loaded 01-17-2008 06:21 PM

Welcome Back!! :cheers:

mousepod 01-17-2008 06:24 PM

Welcome home, GC! I'm glad you got to spend some bonus quality time - and that you were the comic relief.

madmonkeygirl 01-17-2008 06:24 PM

a bittersweet trip
 
Brad good to hear about your grandma. Prayers continue. Glad you are back. When you are up to it you have a couple of PM's.

Sohrshah 01-17-2008 06:47 PM

Wow. I just need to say, what an amazing group of people you all are. I'm proud and happy to be part of this!

GC, I don't know if we've ever met, but I wish you and your Nana all the best.

:)

~MS~ 01-17-2008 06:48 PM

Welcome home Brad and glad to hear that your nana is doing ok again.

katiesue 01-17-2008 06:52 PM

Glad you're home safely and your Nana is doing better.

innerSpaceman 01-17-2008 07:58 PM

Pfft, you were practicing your comic-relief talents with text messages from the departing flight before you even got there.

Glad grandma pulled out of it, and I hope she sticks around for quite a while.

Looking forward to hearing all about your trip!

JWBear 01-17-2008 08:13 PM

Welcome back!

Cadaverous Pallor 01-17-2008 08:25 PM

Welcome back, Brad. Hope work doesn't kick your butt for taking off.

alphabassettgrrl 01-17-2008 09:03 PM

Welcome home! Thank goodness for comic relief, eh?

I'm so glad your Nana is doing better and that you got to connect in a good way with family. :)

Gemini Cricket 01-17-2008 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor (Post 186240)
Welcome back, Brad. Hope work doesn't kick your butt for taking off.

Work has been generously supportive of the situation. I am lucky.
My temporary replacement is having a hard time, rumor has it. Which... isn't a bad thang...
:D

wendybeth 01-17-2008 09:27 PM

I'll bet your Nana adores you. She should.:cheers:

(Thanks for the great post- it made me smile).

€uroMeinke 01-17-2008 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman (Post 186232)
Looking forward to hearing all about your trip!

I just want to hear about the naughty bits

Gemini Cricket 01-17-2008 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke (Post 186280)
I just want to hear about the naughty bits

And, believe it or not, there were some.
;)

cirquelover 01-17-2008 10:18 PM

Welcome back! I'm glad to hear Nana has been released and is home again. I'm sure it's a big relief to you too.

Gemini Cricket 06-27-2009 03:57 AM

Well, my grandma gave up her ghost at 11:00pm Friday night Hawn time.

I'm incredibly sad but glad that her pain is over.

I'm glad that I saw her yesterday. She gave me a look yesterday that made me feel like she was letting herself go. It's hard to explain, but there was a lot behind those eyes.

Well, I thought I should let everyone know asap.

Thanks again for your love & support.

Brad

lashbear 06-27-2009 04:43 AM

Big Hugs to you and your family from Downunder.

Drince88 06-27-2009 05:22 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Moonliner 06-27-2009 05:37 AM

It sounds like a lot of her spirit still lives in you GC

MouseWife 06-27-2009 06:18 AM

Oh, Brad.

I am so glad for you that you are in Hawa'ii right now. That you've been there. I think you knew you needed to be there.

My most sincere condolences.

Nephythys 06-27-2009 07:24 AM

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss-:(

Hugs

innerSpaceman 06-27-2009 07:42 AM

:(

Betty 06-27-2009 07:54 AM

So sorry to hear of your loss GC. :(

~MS~ 06-27-2009 07:54 AM

No words will make the loss any easier, but know that you are in all our thoughts and prayers right now Brad. She was an amazing lady and she passes her spirit on to you. May she rest in peace.

LSPoorEeyorick 06-27-2009 08:02 AM

Oh, Brad. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad you were able to see her - I'm familiar with that look of letting go. Deeply sad though it may be, there's a sense of peace for the person who's going. I wish you and your loved ones peace and strength through this difficult time. Do not hesitate to contact us if you need anything.

Strangler Lewis 06-27-2009 08:06 AM

Sincere condolences.

wolfy999 06-27-2009 08:06 AM

Hugs from the Wolfpack, I'm sure glad you were home and near by when you lost your dear Nana. If you need anything at all, we're just a call away!

Aloha Nana

JWBear 06-27-2009 08:13 AM

My heart goes out to you and your family, Brad. <<HUGS>>

Kevy Baby 06-27-2009 08:28 AM

I am sorry for your loss Brad. Know that many here are thinking of you and love you.

blueerica 06-27-2009 08:31 AM

I'm sorry for your loss, Brad.

Cadaverous Pallor 06-27-2009 08:32 AM

So sorry, Brad.

BarTopDancer 06-27-2009 08:38 AM

Very sorry Brad.

Tom 06-27-2009 08:48 AM

My deepest condolences. Our thoughts are with you now.

Snowflake 06-27-2009 08:55 AM

Brad, my condolences to you and your family. Your Gran sounded like a very special person, I wish her godspeed on the next part of her journey and you blessings for being the wonderful guy you are. Hugs

Motorboat Cruiser 06-27-2009 08:59 AM

Our condolences to you and your family.

Not Afraid 06-27-2009 11:08 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss, Brad, but I am very glad you are in HI right now and that you had timw to spend with her during her last year.

Bornieo: Fully Loaded 06-27-2009 12:03 PM

So sorry for your loss GC.

RStar 06-27-2009 12:28 PM

Crap, I missed the whole trip. Brad, I'm also very glad you were able to be there to say good bye.



Oh, and also:



Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid (Post 184697)
Latest text: "The Queen has landed."

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! ;)


{{{{{Brad}}}}}

Take care, my friend.

€uroMeinke 06-27-2009 04:21 PM

So sorry Bred, glad you could be there though

katiesue 06-27-2009 05:22 PM

Brad I'm so sorry. We'll keep you and your family in our thoughts.

Chernabog 06-27-2009 06:03 PM

So sorry to hear about your grandma GC ):3 <---- unhappy rabbit

((BIG HUGS))

Gemini Cricket 06-28-2009 12:07 AM

Thanks again, y'all. :)

Guess who's doing the eulogy... Ugh!

innerSpaceman 06-28-2009 12:28 AM

Don't ugh. It's an honor. You'll be fine. Love you, my friend.

Bornieo: Fully Loaded 06-28-2009 02:16 AM

Yeah, I understand "ugh" but its your chance to shine and to tell the everyone present what she meant to you. Be yourself, use the opportunity, tell what you feel and it will be ok.

IMHO. ;)

cirquelover 06-28-2009 09:40 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure that whatever you say will be beautiful because she sounds like a beautiful woman. Take care.

Gn2Dlnd 06-28-2009 10:08 AM

Love you, Brad.

Mousey Girl 06-28-2009 08:24 PM

I don't think she would have selected anyone else, had the choice been hers.

SzczerbiakManiac 06-29-2009 11:23 AM

Very sorry to hear this GC. :(
{big guy hugs}

Disneyphile 06-29-2009 12:15 PM

Much love to you, Brad! *hugs*

Gemini Cricket 06-29-2009 02:14 PM

I guess I'm ugh-ing because when my grandfather died my dad did the eulogy and one of my cousins tried to punch him in the face.
I think I posted that story a looong time ago at MousePad...

ETA: Oooh! I found the thread.

Gn2Dlnd 06-29-2009 02:23 PM

I hope you don't get punched in the face by one of your cousins.

But, if you do, will there be video?

innerSpaceman 06-29-2009 02:24 PM

oh, I had forgotten about that old story.


So .... you're in the publishing biz now. How's that crazy tell-all about your barely-fictionalized family coming along? Billion-seller if ever there was one. Have your company give you a fat advance.

Prudence 06-29-2009 02:37 PM

I'm sorry to hear the news, GC. :( But I'm sure your words of remembrance will be magnificent.


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