sorrow and despair
 

i have been walking around in circles, can't eat, can't sleep and thought perhaps reaching out to my LoT family and putting some feelings in writing might help... at least try to release the deep sorrow i have tonight.

i was called at work and informed that my dog, Kaila, had become very ill within the past 24 hours and was unresponsive and struggling to breath, etc. she was fine/normal through tuesday... no sign of illness.

i rushed from work and took her to the ER.

the progosis was so grim, with any treatment likely to result in only prolonging her agony, i made the most difficult decision in my life so far.

oh my God, it hurts so bad right now writing about it.

Kaila passed away in my arms at 8:20 pm tonight.

Brett is still working and not able to leave work so i am just completely filled with grief - and alone until he gets home.

i just needed to share this pain.

it hurts so bad.

Aww, MickeyLumbo. :( so, so, sorry for the loss of your sweet Kaila. How tragic to go from healthy to gone in such a shockingly short span ... as if our beloved animal friends don't pass on soon enough.

i have had a cherished pet die in my arms, and the memory is grim. Besides the loss of Peyote, it was the only time i've actually seen a living creature die. It was a double dose of intense emotional trauma.

i hope you will recall only the fond memories, and that your grief is as brief and as ultimately healing as may be.

My deepest condolences.

- steve

So sorry for your loss, my friend. :(

Sweetie!

I just tried to call you.

I'm so sorry! It hurts more than anything. I know what you're going through and it makes me hurt.

If i was with you, I'd give you the biggest, longest hung know to mankind. I hope Brett can get home soon.

Call me if you want to talk.

I love you.

:( *hugs* losing a furkid is one of the hardest things in the universe I think.
You made a very rough decision, and put Kaila's wellbeing in front of your own desires, which is the very best thing that a responsible person can do.
I've had to make that decision three times now, and it totally sucked all three times. My thoughts are with you, and George the cat is purring for you.
I know that Kaila is up at the Rainbow Bridge, happy and healthy and running around with my childhood dogs waiting for you for a happy reunion someday.

:( /superduperbighugs.

My condolences. <<HUGS>>

Two things:

1.) Our friends here beat me to my own thoughts, so I won't just say the same thing - just know I mean them, too.

2.) I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that Brett will be home soon, and hope that you can feel my most sincere of condolences, as well as the others posted here. If I could be there right now, you'd be getting the biggest hug I have to give. Cherish the love you shared with Kaila and know she cherished them, too.

Our beloved pets are wonderful gifts that come with a high price. It is a sad day, and I am sorry for your unexpected loss.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, MickeyLumbo.
:(
Hang in there.
If there's anything you need, just call.

So sorry to hear this terrible news.
Take care, MickeyLumbo.

Oh wow. What terrible news. For so many of us, our pets are our children. I don't want to sound trite, but the fact that it was so sudden might be a blessing. You did the right thing. You're a good daddy.

Please don't hesitate to call us if you need anything. We've been there. It sucks, but the sting goes away.

I'm so sorry for your loss, MickeyLumbo. :( Like so many others here, call if we can do anything and know that we love you and share your pain.

:(

aww hunnie I am so sorry- we lost our kitty last week so I know well how it feels.

*HUGS*

Oh MickeyLumbo, how terrible. :(


My condolences, buddy. I'll tell the kids when they get up. You'll be in our thoughts today.

I am so sorry.

Oh, my thoughts are with you today - I am so sorry for your loss. Please let us know if you need anything at all, even if it's just distraction.

What everybody else said. Losing such a good friend and family member is inexpressibly sad. Hang in there, and know that lots of people are thinking of you.

I am sorry for your loss. This helped me. Maybe it will help you, even just a little, MickeyLumbo.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Mickey Lumbo.
No words I can offer can dull the pain of loss of your beautiful Kalia.
Our animals are such good and loyal friends and it is so very hard to say goodbye. You difficult decision freed her from pain and suffering, and I know whereever she is, she's thankfully grateful you did what you had to do.

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry ML. I know how much you loved her, and I know how much it hurts. I'm sorry I never got to meet her.

Hang in there.

My dear friend - my heart breaks for. I comfort in knowing that Brett is with you now. Susan is available today for when you need to talk. I will call to check on you shortly.

I can't add much other than know that I've shed a tear for you, said a prayer and send all the good waves I can. Take care and remember that she still loves you and feels your love.

:(

I'm so sorry, Mickey. Like many others here, I have also gone through what you are experiencing and just knowing how you must be feeling right now makes me very sad. Like MP said, you are a good daddy and Kaila was a lucky puppy to have someone who loved her so very much. Big hugs to you and Brett.

I'm sorry ML. I went through a similar situation in August. It was the hardest decision of my life. I think I know how you feel.

It's a sad thing that our animal friends will likely pass before we do. My friends Rick and Ricky lost their little chihuahua Dinky on Christmas day. Tuff stuff. And you'll get through it. Keep your friends close, you've got some great people here.
((hugs))

it has been a difficult night/morning...with little sleep. reading through this thread, although sobbing, i have been so deeply comforted by your care and concern.

the feelings are still so raw.

there is/was no way i could perform "on stage" and do my job properly, and gratefully, my boss has given me the day off.

Brett stayed up with me until 2am and has already left for work. that is probably a good thing because he must feel helpless hearing my agony.

my mind tells me i did the right thing.

my heart feels like i betrayed her trust - the trust that she had that i would always be her protector and best friend.

IsM - your post was considerably comforting, and i thank you so much.
3894 - rainbow ridge is amazing and i can only pray that it is true. difficult to watch this morning, but, i am indeed grateful you directed me to that site.

it has been eye opening to hear of how many of you have "been there" and know this feeling. this was a first for me and i can't bear the thought of experiencing that moment of decision again.

fvck.

thank you all for taking the time to post and making me feel so loved.

You absolutely did not betray her trust. You saved her suffering. You are still her protector and best friend. You were there holding her when she said goodbye to you. She loves you, she thanks you.

I am so sorry for your loss. I have also been through it and it is horrible. I'm sorry you had a bad night last night and hope you are able to sleep soon. Glad you have today off. Take care of yourself.

i have run out of mojo for the day -

thanks again all for your phone calls, care and concern.

and God bless LoT.

ML, you didn't betray her trust, you fulfilled it by making what was ultimately the kindest decision a person could make.

*hugs*

And yet you would not be the good person you are if you did not have doubts about your awesomely too potent decision-making of life and death consequences.

I know you will come to know, if you don't already, that you chose wisely and compassionately and with love and protection at the forefront of your excellent being.

True too.

The decision was completely unselfish. You put Kaila's needs ahead of your own. You could have dragged it out a day or two to have more time to say goodbye, which would have been nice for you to have, but painful and harder for Kaila.

As iSm said, doubts make sense. But as sad as it is, you did the best thing for her.

sorrow and despair
 

MickeyLumbo sorry to hear of your loss. Our pets are like our children. It's tough. Been there various times and each time it does hurt awhole lot (more than i thought when it was my beloved Max) but knowning he was is in a much better place running around getting birds and what not and is happy makes me feel a bit better. For me the missing him is still there but his memory lives on. If you need anything just let me know. So glad you have the day off my friend. Just take care of yourself now. Rainbow Ridge is a great place full of animals having the time of their lives. :) Take comfort in knowing you did do the right thing and she suffers no more. (I never got to say goodbye to Max my parents put him to sleep while i was down here in the valley living my life) so i never got that "final goodbye" which hurt more i think of it. And my mom didn't even tell me for awhole month. That hurt even more so. Know if you need anything don't hesitate.

It's probably too soon for this, but this thread made me think of this song by the band Klaatu. I always cry when I hear it...

I'm so sorry. I know how much she meant to you.

I hadn't seen the Rainbow Bridge thing before, but I followed the link and was suddenly in tears. Losing someone you love, human or not, is extremely difficult and we're all in pain with you. Much love.

*hugs*

I'm so sorry, and have been through it too many times myself.

Always remember the good times, and she will always be there.

You were her protector and guardian, and now she's yours. :)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

You are a wonderful person who helps everyone around you and you did what had to be done. It's never easy to say goodbye to a beloved fur-bearing family member but I think the trade-off for their too short lives is the total and unconditional love they give us and bring to our lives.

My thoughts and well-wishes are with you and yours today.

So sorry. Nothing worse than loving something irreplacable and losing it.

Henry David Thoreau, from Walden -
"I long ago lost a hound, a bay horse, and a turtle-dove, and am still on their trail."

((hugs)). I'm so sorry for your loss.

((Hugs))
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It is one of the hardest things you'll ever do but you did the right thing. I know exactly how you feel but know you did the right thing for your beloved. Take care and lean on your friends in this time of sorrow.

I'm so sorry ML *hugs*

Sorry I was AFK and didn't see this til 'now' but my deepest condolences for your loss ML. Everyone else has offered words of support and encouragement that would have been ones I'd have offered earlier, now I just want to add that you are in my prayers as you deal with this loss in your life. Remember the good times, allow yourself the freedom to grieve the loss and know you have a lot of good people who care.

Susan and I spent some time with ML this evening. He expressed how grateful he was to be able to come to the LoT and share his feelings with everyone.

He is doing okay and has a couple of days to recover.

We all wish you the best ML!

I'm so sorry for your loss - and I admire your strength and compasion for making the decision to end her suffering.