Disneyphile's mom
 

So, I am back from seeing Disneyphile's mom.

For those of you who may have missed the earlier reports, she is in the hospital with a 100% blockage in her colon which has prevented normal digestive movement for 3 weeks. She had had cancer in the area about 2 years ago but had both an operation and Kemo Therapy to treat it.

D is still down there and doesn't know when she is coming back here.

The report:
D's mom is still in SICU and fully sedated. She has been in there now for 6 full days and has not been awake since late Tuesday. She has had 3 surgeries in the last week and is now recovering. She is currently on a ventilator but they are doing their best to ween her off of it and she should be off some time today if all goes well.

The doctor did biopsies on the mass when she first went in and those biopsies came back negative. however, The doctor also did biopsies during the last 2 surgeries which should come back some time today.

At present, no one is sure what the prognosis is, or what D,s family will deside to do once they know the situation. At present D is not sure when she will be back down here are what the news will be.

I just wanted everyone who wanted to know what was going on to know. As more info becomes available either Disneyphile or I will update said info here.

Thanks for the update FP. Please convey good thoughts and vibes to DP. You're all in my thoughts and prayers and hope for a good outcome.

Very sorry to hear this news, FP and DP. Matthew and I will keep your family in our thoughts and send positive vibes and virtual hugs. Stay strong.

I'll be keeping her, you, her family, etc all in my thoughts. Stay strong...

I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts. If there's anything at all I can do please let me know.

Massive <<<HUGS>>>

Thanks for much for the update, FP. We're keeping your entire family in our thoughts.

Thank you for the update.

/hugs

Sending good thoughts and ehugs!

Thank you for the update, FP!
Positive vibes coming your way.

Thank you FP! *hugs*
My thoughts are with you guys.

Hugs to you both from the LashPair. We'll be thinking of you.

Sending prayers from here ....thanks for the update.

Thank you for the update. I checked LoT today just for this reason. I have been thinking about DP and her mom so much. All of you guys, really.

<3

Yes, thank you for the update.

Prayers from this family are on their way.

*hugs* guys

Thinking of all of you.

My thoughts and hopes are with you and your family

Best thoughts!

Thinking of y'all...

Good thoughts and vibes for you, DP and her mom. Thank you for the update.

Our love and prayers are all flowing in your direction.

Of course, my vibraphon is set to you and yours, and adjusted to good and wellness.

Sorry to hear this, all the best hugs and good vibes your way.

Well, I got to watch my mom writhe in pain this evening, and then on the way out, my dad flat-out admitted to me that she wouldn't have wanted to take the treatment "this far", but he doesn't feel she should go yet.

My sister wants to terminate care, but my dad has "big plans" for her speculated 5% chance of partial recovery, and I'm caught in the middle, with both wanting my side.

Her main doc with nearly 30 years of experience has said it's late stage adenocarcinoma, but my father refuses to believe him until the final biopsy results are shown. And, even then, he says that it "doesn't mean anything", because he "researched it on the internet" and there are "alternative treatments in China". :rolleyes:

My mom's initial surgery to install the colostomy tore apart twice, hence the two additional emergency surgeries. Ever since then, she's been on a vent, colostomy, eliostomy, catheter, stomach siphon, and IV nutrition because her plumbing is pretty much gone. (But, my dad keeps saying, "She's getting better! Look! Her color is good!" and other such straw grasps.)

Right now, I'm trying to assure my dad that he won't be alone if he lets her go. (Which is quite the challenge, because my brother and sister are avoiding him, just because he won't take their side.) I'm also trying to be strong for my mom, because I don't want her to stress, so she can let go. She can hear us, but I don't know to what extent, because it's hard to tell when she's actually sleeping, since they're keeping her drugged out. And, it's bad enough that my sister and dad will argue with each other at her bedside.

At some point, I'll get space to deal with my own feelings on the issue, which probably won't happen until this whole mess is done and I can come back home. I don't really get any time to myself, because my dad's being very clingy, understandably so.

The only news I was ever given up to coming out here was my dad's own self-derived "sunshine and rainbows" reports. My sister told me that she wanted to call me last week, but my dad refused to give her my number, because he said, "Mom will be alright. You don't need to alarm your sister. Just leave her alone."

So, yeah. I'm pissed, sad, shocked, and just about everything else.

The docs are going to attempt to wake her up within the next 2 days to see if she'll state what she wants.

Meanwhile, I get to watch my lifelong best friend slowly turn from anything resembling a human being to Darth Mom, with tubes and machines coming out of places I didn't even know existed. I understand that my dad is afraid of being alone after 46 years, and he's feeling abandoned, but good grief.

And, I wish I could just talk to her and tell her how frustrated I am, since she's always been my sounding board for 34 years. And, I can't.

Peace be with you, Disneyphile and family.

Been thinking of you guys all weekend- I wish I could do more.

Hugs-:(

Our thoughts are with you. And whatever else we can offer.

I'm sorry this is happening.

I admire your strength to come here and articulate what's going on. I'm sorry that this process is so ****ed up - but it sounds like your family is strong and you'll be there for each other for a long time.

DP, my thoughts and good vibes are with you and yours right now. You're being your Mom & Dad's rock right now. I believe that your Mom can feel your vibe and hear you right now, so I believe she is feeling that strength coming from you. You take some deep breaths and tell your Mom everything you want to tell her, she'll hear you and take it with her if she decides it is time to go. {{{hugs}}}

I'm sorry.

I'm with Snowflake. Tell her what you need to say. Tell your family members to stop arguing around her like that... she can still hear, even if it's just the negative vibes. They can take it outside.

And while they're out there, tell her how much you love her.

Give her your strength, 'cause DP, you have tons of it. She needs you and she needs love and support, no matter what happens.

{{DP}}

Cancer is horrible, and Adenocarcinoma is one of the nastiest forms of it. (I lost my best friend and another good friend to it, both of them young). I'm so sorry, DP. You are right- your mom can still hear you, although chances are it's mixed up with hallucinations. (When my mom had a very similar experience, at her worst and when we all thought she was dying and couldn't possibly understand us, she did. She later related back to us almost verbatim what we said and who was with us at the time, although she didn't realize she was in a hospital. One time she thought it was a train depot, and another a big party. Still, she did hear and understand us.) I can't think of anything to say that would be of comfort, except that you are truly a wonderful daughter and your dad is lucky to have you through all of this. Big, big hugs.

I'm thinking of you and all your family.

Oh DP I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this and that your dads fears are making this difficult time even more difficult. I agree that she can indeed hear you no matter if it's drug induced or not....having BTDT with the spouse 3 times (in a coma) so far and once with Missy...they can in fact hear us and 'know' we're there even if they can't acknowledge it so share your love and your strength and I have no doubt in your ability to tell the rest of the family take the negative down to the waiting room if they need to but keep it out of her space...and yours for that matter! Hang in there and know a lot of good people are covering you all in prayer and good thoughts ...

I'm so sorry T.

I am so sorry that you are going through this.
The time to be strong is now, DP. It's a very hard time, but you simply must. If you need help and a shoulder to cry on, I'm here. I'm unemployed and can come down if you need.
PM me if you want.

Thanks for updating us, T. I understand the horrible situation very well and there's no easy way out of it. You Dad has to have hope - even if it's the tiniest thread but the reality of the situation seems so grim that is difficult to face that reality. Everyone has said such wise things. You have to be strong, but also remember to take some time for yourself and let those feelings wash over you and begin to process them.

You are always in our thoughts and I hope that there is some sort of resolution or answer soon. Many hugs and lots of love to you and your family.

(((HUGS)))

All my best thoughts and hopes DP.

Oh honey I just saw this thread - I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.
You are such a strong, brave woman to be keeping on the sane path at this time -- we are all here for you no matter what happens so if you need anything, you have only to ask.

My prayers are going out to your mom, you, and your family. Hang in there, we love you!!!

I'm so sorry
 

This is so not what I was hoping for you.

I've been where you are, you know that. I hate that you are there now.

{{{biggest hugs}}}

I don't have anything profound to offer in addition to what's been said. It is a horrible situation. I concur with the suggestions to talk to your mom regardless. If she's been your confidant this long, let her be your confidant now, too. Don't let the sickness deprive her of that privilege, too.

Oh D-phile, hugs to you! You know I'm only a phone call away if you need to vent!

The Wolfpack is thinking of you all the time......We're here for you if you need us!

Be strong....it's a tough road your on, and it won't get any easier, but if anyone can withstand this life trial you can!

I just got this update from DP (via text):
Damnit, now I am crying.

Thanks Kevy.

:(

:(

:(

My heart hurts for them.

I am so sorry.

My heart goes out to you too... :(

Omg, i love, love, love you, T. Send your mom off with some of the LOVE that you are.


ohfuc, can't tuype thru tears.

All any of us can hope for is to be surrounded by such love when our time comes. Our prayers are with you and your family :(

swanie

I'm so sorry T. My heart is with you.

You are in all our thoughts and prayers.

I'm sooo sorry T, hugs to you all :(

Typing thru tears....praying hard that her passing is gentle and the love surrounding her lights her way....

T,
We love you, and send as much love as we can to you through the wind.

Just told Wolfette...she's so sad, but understands. She was glad she got to spend some time with Delores a few weeks ago.

She sends her love to all!

:(

I'm very sad for you and your family. I know it's hard to let go and give up hope. I pray that she will have the strength the let go and be at peace and out of pain. I know how difficult this is and I remember like it was yesterday the feelings that you and your family are feeling. Goodspeed, Delores, you are a much loved woman and you will continue to be so in spirit.

I'm not going to cry. I'm going to put on a strong face and send those strong vibes to DP, FP and DP's dad. Hang in there all.

((((HUGS)))))

May your Mother's journey into the West bring her to the end of suffering and on to the shores of Peace.

I shall light a candle to help light her way there, and another to bring blessings and warmth to you as you need it most. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Ken is flying out this evening to be with Teresa....I'm going to take care of the critters. Keep good thoughts for the DP family coming in!

The last message I got from her was this-

I've been crying for her for much of the evening- but leave it to her to give her mom magic and love as she leaves this world.

May we all be so blessed.

:(

I'll be covering the reptiles. Call me if you need anything.

Will do, thanks Kevy!

You know it.

<3

So sorry to hear these latest updates. I share in all the tears and overwhelming sadness and offer my love and support in this most difficult time. :(

Indeed.

DP -

I wanted to type this earlier, but deleted it out of an uncertainty on what to expect with your mom's health. I won't spit it out exactly the same, but the sentiment is still there.

You mentioned earlier that you're losing your sounding board. While it's not the same, I've come to believe it's not true. I don't believe in a heaven or a hell, so I don't have another side of the rainbow - at least not for me or anyone I love. My grandfather, the man who raised me, was my sounding board. I still talk to him, because he's somewhere within my heart. All the wisdom he imparted is kept lovingly where I can always ask it. It's hard. So, so hard; there's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. But today, I have my grandpa with me at all times, at all moments, at my beck and call.

My thoughts are with you tonight, T and K. May everything go with as much ease as the situation can find.

:(

My thoughts are with you and your families. Snuggle you both.

I'm so sorry.

My prayers are with you and your family DP.

Continued prayers here as well.

And hugs, too.

{{{{{{{DP}}}}}}}}

Oh DP and FP, everyone else has said anything meaningful I think of saying. Godspeed to your Mom DP, may she leave with the full knowledge of a job well done and a whole lotta love. I never had the pleasure of meeting your Mom, but if she's anything like you, she's a fabulous woman. Takle care, I'm sending warm thoughts to you all from far away cause I'm helpless to do anything else. Take care. :(

Any news this morning?

Have not heard anything today-

I am very glad that Ken was able to go back and be with her :( She needs the support.

Nothing here yet. Will post if I hear something.

Ugh, my heart jumps whenever I see new posts in here...

*update*

Spoke with T- her mom is still holding on with them. Originally they thought it would only be a matter of hours but now they say that this process could take 1-2 days.

They are in the process of moving her from the hospital to hospice care so she can be more comfortable. T and her sister are going to the house to get some special things to surround her with things she loves to make her happier. Hospitals are not very happy places to be-

She says they are able to joke around and spend some good time together. Even her mom is maintaining her sense of humor-T is just trying hard to be strong right now for her dad and her mom.

The next couple of days are going to be hard and long for T & K and their family as they go through this- I know they will be on all of our minds. I told her we all send our love- she told me she has been getting supportive messages and they have been helping her.

:( It was good to hear her voice- she is such a wonderful strong and loving person. I know I am blessed beyond belief to have her in my life and I am so thankful to her mom (and dad) for having such a fabulous daughter.

*sigh* She asked me to update LoT- keep those loving and supportive vibes going her way.

Well the one good thing is that T's mom will be made as comfortable as possible in a hospice, that she will be there surrounded by the people that love her and the people and things that she loves. If one had to choose....

Thanks for the update, Neph. I've been thinking about them all day today, and like everyone else my heart sort of does a skip-beat when a new post is added here.

Talked to her half an hour ago. Pretty much what Neph said.

The nice thing about hospice vs. ICU is that they can create a much more comfortable environment; they can surround her with treasured items, no bright lights, and there will be a bed for Disneyphile's dad so he can stay in the room with her. Also hospice has some better drugs available to them which are focused more on preserving the quality of the life remaining, rather than the life itself (eg: can kill the pain better while hopefully allowing her to regain consciousness a bit more to spend some quality time with her family and friends). So they're going to 'party' a bit with her to celebrate her life and brighten up the time she has remaining.

Goonie, thanks for the news. That's awesome, it will be much better than being in ICU. I've been thinking of them all day, and will continue to send the good thoughts.

I reckon all the treasured items I'd ever need is a laptop and a link to you guys.

You are all such a blessing, I'm so glad to be part of this LoT.

Continued thoughts & prayers to T&K and family.

Neph:

Can you get an address to send some flowers for T's mom?

Thanks for the update. I would also like the address, if possible.

I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you both and your family.

Thanks Nephy for posting those beautiful words. Hugs to T and K, some of the best people on earth.

I have gotten a request out for the address. I will pm it as soon as I hear something.

I have the address and details-please PM me for the info.

Finally sleeping peacefully- she was in pain- they now have her on stronger and more effective meds and relieved the pain and now she is finally sleeping. She comes to every now and then and then goes back to sleep.

They took special things from the house- Christmas stuff was still up they brought it to the hospice- she loves Christmas carols- they played a favorite CD for her, Clay Aiken, and every now and then she will wake up and sing along for a moment.

They are working hard to keep her calm and happy- it’s a difficult road right now. They even brought her dresses from home so she feels like she is home- and home is where she is happiest.

T is clearly going through a very hard time- keep her and K and their family in your thoughts and prayers.

One more thing-

Right now they are ok-hospice is keeping them fairly comfortable and fed.

They will need support when they get home-maybe some prepared meals? Certainly keep in touch- there will be times when she needs comfort and company and other times to be alone. Maybe invites to dinner so they can get out of the house? Get away- a day at the park.

Invites out would be great-dinner, over for a movie- something to get them out of the house. Don't need to spend money- they just need support.

:( I wish I could be there-

Neph... You're a dear to keep us informed.

Hugs to you!

I'm so glad I can-I'm in tears at work as we are talking right now.

I expect all of you to give her hugs from me when she gets home since I won't be there for a while.

:(

Ok- edited to add one more update:

Hospice staff has told them that this process is going to take another day or so. This is going to be the hardest part- at least as far as I can imagine. :(

I also have T's dad's name and address if you want to send things to the house after...:( oh god....I just mean if you can't get things to the hospice I can give you the address to send things to the house. I also have T&K's address if you want to send things there.

Ok.....

Thank you so much for keeping us informed, Nephy. My thoughts and prayers are continually with their family. We are definitely on-board to support in any way possible when we get back - but we know that in times of grief it sometimes requires others to be flexible and understanding of the family's needs - it's hard to pinpoint just how someone will feel at any given time, but we are definitely here to give our arms, our ears, and our love to our friends, however they need it.

I echo what LSPE has said. I'm positive she knows that we will be here when she's ready and we'll be armed with Sidecars and Bacon and a lot of support.

Thanks Nephy.

Oh yes- well, it was her idea.

BTD asked me in PM and I happened to be on the phone with T when I got it- so all the ideas of ways they could use support came from her.

She also told me that her sister is in awe of the friendship and community we have-

LoT is a special place with special people- I am so proud to know and be one of you.:)

Thanks Nephy for all you have done, and thanks to all the rest of you more local to DP for what you will be doing.

Sending more virtual hugs, all around.

Thank you so much for keeping us informed.

:(

Hugs, love, strength and positive thoughts from the Bot family.

Where the Atch E double toothpicks have you been?!?

Left a message for T last night....not a word yet....is no news, good news?

Has anyone had any communication with her lately?

I'm thinking the worst, please change that for me if you can!

I think she would probably send some sort of message if there had been a dramatic change.

Spoke with her about an hour ago. Her mom is still lingering, they expect another day or so, but it could happen any time. Hospice has been treating her and her family really well. They've got Dolores on some even stronger drugs now, so she's mostly asleep at this point. They're just waiting for her body to go through its natural process. It's sort of like waiting for the birth of a baby, the body will do things on its own schedule.

Disneyphile asked me to pass along that she's extremely grateful for everything that's been sent, from the flowers and other treats right down to the smallest text message. She says they've been very comforting and they appreciate it.

Thank you for the update. I've been thinking of them all day.

My heart goes out to T and K, but it's so hard to know what to say.

Hugs to you guys.

~Bob

DPh & FP - i am so saddened by this news. I know it is an extremely difficult, painful journey - filled with all emotions.

I would love to help you in any way that i can - just let me know.

I am honored to have met D and will always remember the joyous spirit she had on your wedding day.

Your LoT family is always here for you (God bless LoT!) to help, lean on, and support you through the pain.

keeping you in my thoughts this difficult day and sending you a warm and loving hug.

:(

Oh my gosh, I haven't been on lot for days. What horrible news! My heart goes out to T & K. Take care of yourselves.

:(

Susan spoke with T earlier today. She and K are leaving tonight around 8:00 to come home. They feel that Mom may be hanging on simply because T is there. - that she doesn't want T around at the end. They should be home around 1:00 or 2:00.

We are bringing over some spaghetti sauce tonight and then tomorrow, Susan will be making up some stew to bring over.

Thanks for the update, they have been in my prayers since the news was announced...

Thanks for th update. I know what a difficult decision this must have been for both of them.

I know that when my mother was in hospice the nurses told us that people will hang on as long as friends and family are around.

The night we all went home to get some sleep was the night she passed away.

It is a tough decision but sometimes whether we like it or not we have to leave to let them go.

Letting go is very hard.

It's been 15 months since I watched my dad die, and I still don't think I have let him go entirely. I miss him every day. It's really difficult.

I'm so sorry.

:(

*sigh*

Hey guys, I just wanted to acknowledge what has to be a very difficult time for your family. T, K, you're in my thoughts. I hope you're getting sleep, and I hope your dad's holding up. It was a delight, meeting your parents at your wedding. If I can be of any service at all, let me know.

Jim

:( ty for the update K.

it's so hard to post when you don't know what to say. my heart goes out to T and K. that's so lame when words won't suffice.

I'm so sorry :(

More prayers and thoughts for you all. I've had you on my mind and in my heart all weekend. :(

Take care.

*Hugs*

My aunt was the same way, she stuck around while her sister was there caring for her, and the very day her sister finally had to drive back to Arizona, she passed away peacefully in her sleep that night.

Umm... I hope T is not reading this thread right now. Let's stop discussing the possibilities.

I think the end result is inevitable in this situation. I doubt anyone would want a loved one to hang on to a thread of life while in immense pain and suffering if sweet release was possible.

Again, all I can say/do is ((hugs)).

Kevy: T. was one of my supporters when I went through this with my aunt, I'm not saying anything she didn't know already.

I haven't been posting in this thread because, even though I've gone through a similar situation with my father, I also just don't know what words to say.

Just let me join in the big group LoT hug.

T & K are home.....love and hugs being sent from the Wolfpack to both of them and all the family!

Almost got credit for the Spaghetti sauce that was left for them, but told T....K & S left that.

Thanks to all for the support for the both of them, it's really appreciated!

I just spoke with NA. Dolores passed away a short time ago.DP is currently with NA and they are going to pick up FP from work. Susan is on her way down to be with DP, NA, etc.More details to follow as they come in.

My heart goes out to them both, and glad that some of their friends could be with them now.

Thank God for good friends. You all take care of T.

Thank you for the update. I'll be thinking of T & K and her family.

thank you for the update. My thoughts are with you and very glad you are surrounded by love and support.

my deepest condolences. may they all find peace and comfort in the love that remains always

Our love to you, T and K - we are so sad for your loss. We are here for you however you may need us.

Our deepest sympathy T&K...you're in our thoughts and prayers.

My deepest sympathies, T & K. *hugs*

My condolences T & K, I'm so saddened to hear of Dolores' passing -- just know that you are surrounded by good prayers and friends who care deeply about you. xoxo

((((((T&K)))))))

I have the time and the desire to help. T&K are likely overwhelmed. NA and Susan, Please get in touch so I can assist without getting in the way!

:)

i would also like to assist in any way i can, without being a pest.

And i join in the chorus of condolences and sympathies and hugs and love, and especially love.

*hugs*

Very sorry to hear this. My deepest sympathy to all.

I met her only briefly at your wedding, but she seemed to be a happy person who was very proud of her daughter. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

My condolences also, hugs to you both :(

My deepest condolences for your loss, DP and FP. I'm so very sorry.

If someone could please PM me T&K's current address, I would greatly appreciate it (I just have their older one). Thanks.

Sometimes, in a situation like this, friends (such as us) want to help, but don't what to do. As I have mentioned to a couple of people, at this point, there is not much we can do other than sending our collective positive healing energy to T & K. T is certainly going through a state of mourning and she and her family will handle the details (they probably already have most of it covered).

Thankfully, NA and Susan are available to be with them today. But I am sure they will be returning to the land of Dolores soon. If, in the meantime, they need anything, I am sure that T will reach out: I know them well enough to know that she wouldn't hesitate to ask for help.

As mentioned previously in this thread, where we will be able to do the most good is the time after they return from the services. The day to day life starts settling in and people move on. T will probably have times where she needs to cry on someone's shoulder, or maybe they just want to get out to forget about life for a while.

The outpouring of love by this groups is simply amazing. I think someone mentioned it earlier, but T's sister was blown away by the level of support that the LoT has given. You are a super bunch of people that I am proud to call my friends.

Check your PM.

If anyone else needs it, either I or Nephy (as well as others I am sure) have it.

You know the Wolfpack is here for anything you and Ken might need.....just ask (the hour of the day or night does not matter)!

Got it thanks Kevy :)

Deepest of sympathies from the Utah LoT contingent. I wish I could be there to offer greater support, just know you have an open ear and an open heart here, if you need it - as I'm sure everyone else here has for you.

{{DP & FP}}

My thoughts and prayers are with DP & FP and her family (FP's family too).

Godspeed Delores, rest well.

Thanks to everyone for keeping us in the loop.

:( for her friends and family for the loss and :) cause she's not suffering any longer.

My deepest sympathies to you both.


Wonderful people here at LoT. While I am sad at the reason for this thread, I am so impressed by the strength of the friendships.

'I get by with a little help from my friends.....' :snap:

Small note (especially for those wishing to send flowers):

There is no service. T is going out to LV on Saturday morning to do some cleaning and she is coming back on Sunday. If you want to send flowers, send them to T & K's place.

I knew it was going to happen, but I kept hoping for a miracle. I'm so sorry, T&K, and I wish I could say or do something that could make you feel better, but I can't. Your mom is free from pain and I know she will always be with you- you carry her in your hearts. I never had the honor of meeting her in person, but I know her daughter and anyone who could produce such a wonderful human being had to be a pretty special one herself.

All my love and the very biggest of hugs to you both.

K, if there is an alternative to flowers that T would prefer (such as a donation to the hospice, etc.) when the time comes, I'd love to know.

If I were closer, I'd send food, but I expect they'll be flooded with food, too, thanks to the local LoTers.

My condolences. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

I am truly sorry for your loss. I'm glad you have a great group of LoT friends for all the love and support you need. ((Hugs)) to everyone

I am sorry. I don't know what more to say, but if there is anything I can do, you need not hesitate to ask.

I'm so sorry :(

Kevy - if and when they need anything...please let us know.

swanie

I'm so sorry to read this news. I'm glad that you are all there to provide the in person support as needed and only wish I was close enough to do the same. I'll be thinking of you all.

Small detail clarification:

The second letter of T's name is NOT an "h". I sent addy's to some people earlier with an "h" in her name and that is not correct.

*hugs*

Sympathy & Hugs
 

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Dolores was so kind and sweet talking to me about my dad's cancer. She was warm and friendly and hugged me because we already had this common bond between us. She was lovely.

Through my tears I know that cancer is done hurting her now.

I wish I could help or say something, just as we all wish we could. I know there is nothing that can fix this. I just wish I could hug you, T.

I'm home at the moment. T and I were waiting for our lunch to arrive when Ken called with the news. There were no tears yet, just a relief that she was a peace and no longer in the immense pain she was feeling. I think when her and K left LV they said their goodbyes then and that was a great thing to be able to do.

Delores waited to let go until she was alone as people sometimes do. She knew T & K were safe at home, her other children were safe and her dear husband had just left the hospice to go home for a bit. She probably felt that she could quietly leave without people being there to witness it. She knew she was dearly loved and loved her family back immensly.

When I left, Susan was with her and Ken would be home soon. They are supposed to go see Morri's show tonight. Tomorrow, they have an appointment in the morning and K goes to work at 10:30. Susan may go over in the AM but has to work later in the day. I will be working all day but have invited T to play with puppies all day with me if she'd like. She did mention going to the Park at some point, so if someone is available before the weekend to accompany her, that might be nice.

They will be off to LV on Saturday morning, returning Sunday night.

We spent the day talking about death and all of the funny and tragic things that families do to each other during this incredibly stressful time. I told her my story of my Dad's death and all of the ridiculous (and retrospectively funny) things that happened. We were actually laugh quite a bit. Sometimes, it's all you CAN do.

I'm very glad Delores is no longer suffering and is a peace and enjoying the Disneyland in Heaven.

I'm free. I'd need a sign-in to get into the park, but I'm more than willing if it can be made to work.

Thanks for sending that message along. I know it will be appreciated.

I'm sorry :(

I don't know what else to add to the chorus other than my voice of support and sympathy to T and the family. I am here should you need me.

I hope when we all meet as a group we have the opportunity to raise our glasses to the memory of a wonderful person.

I'm so sorry. Love to you both.

I sent you all the addresses I had- I had not read yet that her mom had passed away :(.

OH my- I am so sorry. Even when knowing the outcome it does not take away the sting.

Sending lots of love and sympathies.

:(

My deepest sympathies to DP and FP.

I got to meet her parents once at the Park and have a great lunch with them. Such outstanding people.

I'm glad they have such close, incredible friends like the ones here to be a comfort and support in this time of sadness. My best wishes go out to you all.

*hugs*

There will be the Friday night Leap Day swanking, if you guys are up for a group thing...

I haven't been over here to the LoT in a while, but when I heard I had to come send a bit of love to DP and her family. You're in my thoughts as you deal with your loss. *HUG*

Sorry for your loss DP :( . My thoughts to you and your family

Just hearing about this whole thing now, and very sorry indeed. Not much one can say that helps in this situation, especially since we don't really know each other very well, but my thoughts are with you.

Little in life is harder than losing a parent. I wish you the best over the coming months and years. It never fully goes away, but the pain and other related emotions do subside with time.

I lost my mom to cancer as well, 10 years ago. If you ever need to talk to someone whose been through it, just email me. Happy to offer what help, understanding and empathy I can.

Thanks for everything - the flowers, text messages, posts, food, and thoughts and prayers.

I used to think so many things mattered. If anything, I've learned that there is no reason to stress over things that we can control, because no amount of work or effort can bring a loved one back to life.

I'm still very numb and keep thinking this is all a weird dream. I keep wanting to wake up, yet I know that I am awake, and this is real, but it just doesn't seem like it.

When I asked a friend how she got over it, she said that there is no way to be completely over it, but that I will heal. She compared it to peeling an onion - once one layer of tears is shed and gone, the next layer will be peeled when a milestone is reached, like buying a house, having a child, etc. She said it is those moments that the onion is peeled once again, and we are reminded about what we can't share, but each layer is thinner and thinner, so it hurts less over time, but it will still hurt.

I told Ken that I feel a massive void in my heart. I am very thankful to have the support and love to fill some of that void, because it definitely makes it less painful. For that, I thank all of you.

We visited with K's therapist this morning. He said I am in shock, and warned that feelings will still be forthcoming. I'm a little scared, because I don't want to lose who I am, and I already feel like I'm falling apart sometimes. It's a weird feeling, and I've already questioned what I do, where I live, what my life is, and if I'm doing what I should in this life. It's the strangest feeling ever.

But, I do know bacon, and what/who it reminds me of, so I ordered a pizza for lunch today that was topped with bacon. Strangely, it helped to remind me of the normal and good things in life, and I really needed that today.

I talked with my dad this morning, and Neptune Society is a bit "backed up", so we won't have her back for another week. But, we're still going up for the weekend to help my dad sort out some house stuff, and then we'll go back in two weeks to scatter a pinch over my grandparent's graves, per one of my mom's requests from a few years ago. I'll be leaving a Mickey pretzel from Disneyland at the site, because they were her favorite "edible attraction" at the park.

Oh, and for those who have asked what they would like to do in lieu of flowers, feel free to donate to Nathan Adelson Hospice or the American Cancer Society. Or, if you'd like to do something that would keep a part of my mom alive, then pick a needy family or child during the holidays, and give them a present or two (or, typical in Mom's case, an entire trunk-load). Christmas was her favorite time of year, because she loved to give presents, especially to an unsuspecting kid who wouldn't otherwise have anything. And, she'd mark all the tags from "Santa".

I will still be sporadic online for a little while. Sometimes I feel social, and other times, I just want to play Guitar Hero or watch TV.

Everyone here has been so wonderful and I know that counts a lot towards the healing you will be going through.

Hopefully you will feel like a trip to the Park on Friday afternoon and we can skip down Main Street together in memory of your Mom's love for the Park.....until we then....Love & Hugs!

Teresa, I'm so sorry to hear this news. Prayers for you and Ken, and all the rest of your family as well.

T,
I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. You are very lucky to have such wonderful friends and a great husband by your side. Even though I have only met you a couple of times, I feel like I know you. Every time I read this thread my eyes well up. I wish I were closer so that I could just pop in and give you a hug. The best I can do is (((hug))).

Sending condolences to you and your whole family...:(

Greg & I have been off the net for a few days now - We're sad to hear the news, and we're sending Big hugs to T&K.

Teresa!! HUG HUG HUG!

I've had you on my mind SO much and I am so incredibly sorry that you've lost your precious mom. You guys are in my prayers, and, I hope we can meet again at DL for another gathering.

Love,

Janine