Finally, something atheists and Christians can agree on
 

Discuss...

LOL!

I don't like that green coat with the lavender pants Atheist is wearing. I think they clash.

I'm an atheist and I have no problem with Scientology. It is just as ridiculous to me as any other religion. So if the Christian was also beating himself with the bat, then I'd be in agreement.

Alex, I always appreciate your candor. :)

I think Scientology is a cult, but I'd find the comic funnier if it was Tom Cruise - cause I think he's a buffoon, regardless of his beliefs.

Calling yourself an atheist only shows what you don't believe in. Can you briefly post what you do believe in so we can decide if it would be funny to see you beat yourself with a bat or not?

Leo channelling Alex:

How'd I do?

That was frightening.

Mmm, pedantic!

Actually it was a trick question. Of course it would funny to watch Alex beat himself with a baseball bat.

I do.

Exactly my point.

[I think I just heard an audible groan from the membership of this board when they saw you ask me that.]

Actually, I'd say that calling myself an atheist says a lot about what I believe in. But you want a brief overview of what I believe in regard to what?

And no, what I believe in can't be posted briefly (though I've hardly been shy about posting the details here over the years). If what one believes about the fundamental nature of the universe can be adequately covered in a couple sentences then either not enough personal thought has been put into it or too much reliance is being put on simply accepting the thinking of others. Maybe when we start communicating purely in the language of mathematics I'll be able to give you my metaphysical version of E=MC^2.

But if you want an attempt: I do not believe there is any such thing as the supernatural. I do believe the universe to be entirely mechanistic and that to the degree anything appears non-mechanical it is simply because we have not yet sussed out all the rules. I believe it is entirely possible it is not within our abilities to ever understand all of the rules. However, this uncertainty does not scare me and inspire me to create myths to provide comfort and answer the so far unanswerable. Despite the mechanistic nature of the universe I believe it has a complexity and inherent randomness that defies the prediction that should be possible in an entirely Newtonian mechanical universe. As a corollary of that, I do not believe that free will actually exists as everything we do reduces to mechanical interactions, but that because of the randomness and intractability of our biology that we have no choice but to perceive in ourselves a free will. And that is no less true for me than anybody else and therefore I do not see it as contradictory when I speak in the language of freewill any more than it is internally contradictory for a schizophrenic to simultaneously recognize that the voice in his heard aren't real but to not be able to ignore what they tell him to do. I do not believe the universe or our collective or personal existence has "a purpose" beyond what our chemistry causes us to perceive. I believe that I respect honest religious belief and faith for when it is boils up from an internal feeling or experience of perception, it is no less real than my perception of free will. I believe that when I have used the word "believe" in the previous sentences that I am doing so with a fundamentally different meaning than the way a person of faith uses the word. I believe that while I certainly could be wrong in each of the things I have said I believe in the previous sentences, there has never yet been offered any evidence to suggest that I am, at least not beyond the entirely internal feelings of billions of people. To paraphrse someone else, rather than being relatively unusual in my atheism I think we are all 99.999999% atheists and I just take it one god (or pantheon) farther. I believe that while saying I admit I could be wrong technically makes me an agnostic in the eyes of many, I remain functionally an atheist because until presented with some evidence of error I see no reason to behave on the assumption that I am wrong.

But regardless, you can assume it would be fun to beat me with a stick. Just as, when in the right mood, I know for a fact that it can be fun to be beaten by a stick.

I have no problem with dismissing Scientology (on the assumption that the cartoon is not a call to actual violence). Just not, as the Christian does, on the basis that Scientology has some element of oddity making it distinct from the Christian religions (or any other). I also have no problem with the Christian and Scientologist dismissing me. I can take it.

I certainly have varying degrees of approval to the earthly actions of the followers of various religions and particularly with how well various beliefs can be integrated into secular society. But the actual beliefs of Scientology are, to my view, no odder than those of Catholicism.

Way too short. And slightly off target. But not bad.

Oh, and as the atheist speaking up can I just say I think I'd prefer to be PC and not Justin Long?

Actually it was a trick question. Of course it would funny to watch you beat yourself with a baseball bat.

And as for "briefly", are you part Ent?

The first part goes without saying. As for the second part, no, the LoT administrators just pay me by the word.

But not as much as me. My contract requires that I be the highest paid poster on LoT.

Yes, but that is achieved by paying you per sexual innuendo and humorously misread thread title.

Yep. People will pay large sums of money for porn.

The contract I had to sign states I have to pay a penalty if I post too much or use the words 'Girthy' or 'pancakes'

pr0n, dear, this is teh internets.

This is absolutely true. His base salary is doubled for every 50 words posted.

I believe this post violates the contract. Pay up, mister!

What? I, ....... Oh hell.

No one could pay us enough to pay you to leave, BD! *Once a Swanker, always a Swanker. Unless you do something really unSwanky, which is highly unlikely in your case.:)






* Unless you're talking €urodollars, of course.;)

I get paid, not by the number of times I write sphincter, but by the number of times I get someone else to write sphincter.

Thanks! It's been a while since I've had the urge to add a quote.:D

There are too many big words in this thread... when are we beating up the Jehovah' Witness' with bats??

If former will do then it has already been accounted for.

I hear you get a ham for every 8 times sphincter is typed, is that true?

sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter

There's your next ham. Look for it in the mail. :D

Best waste of time I've spent today....reading this thread:)

Thanks for the laugh guys:)

You formerly beat up a Jehovah's Witness?

ew...mailorder ham? who knows where its been?

or who its been with?

or...

nevermind...just ew

No, no, no. He doesn't get a ham. He gets hammed by ML, MBC and STC. I'm not sure what it means to get hammed, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.

No, but I formerly beat off a Jehovah's Witness.




I demand that LoT give me the nickel that would have gone to Kevy for that one.

A nickel?!? HA!

You know not my value!

Sorry.

Ok, I demand my penny. But now that I've budgeted for a nickel I'm going to have to repeat it four more times.

There, I corrected it for you.

Oh, and if I don't start seeing royalty checks, you'll hear from my lawyer.

I feel like I'm reading Dr. Faustus... a community of super-intelligent, cultured adults, given all the power to post on any academic topic of interest, and we spend our days posting of sphincters and boobs.

I love it when literature comes to life :)

I know, I know, this is merely an academic exercise in applying the moral lessons of Dr. Faustus to real life in some post-modernist digital performance art, right? ;)

I get paid to post intelligent things... which is why I haven't seen a dime yet ;)

hmm...and here I thought a smaller sphincter would be worth more.

go figure


...no, really.....you there! go figure!

(o)

I'm only in it for the hedons

I don't get paid, I just get some thrown my way.

I guess the next time the doorbell rings...

:D

If I had a hedon for every time I read a post.....oh wait, I do.

Hedon: apply directly to the forehead.

Visible Mojo for GC!

This thread is just too dam funny! It's taken so many turns I can't remember what it was that started it all, not bad for only 3 pages in!