Doing magic in front of muggles...
 

...may cost you your substitute teaching job.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354327,00.html

Okay, so we burn witches... what do we do to wizards?

:D

Uh oh, the muggles are onto it.

Wait, how are you posting here?

Geez are we this backwards in this country that someone can do a slight of hand trick and he could get fired. Ridiculous.

What the article fails to mention is that the substitute teacher subsequently turned the toothpick into a Dementor.

This is one of those stories in which you just know there is more to it than what was reported.

That is a very weirdly truncated story.

I'm left to assume that "toothpick" is his euphemism for "penis."

Alex made a funny!!! *dies of shock* ;) heheh

He does so on a fairly regular basis. You just have to pay attention as it often sneaks up on you.

I know!! That's why it was so shocking when the chortle erupted!!!

No story could be that short...but what the heck else (besides Alex's explainer) could have happened?

What do they put in the water in Florida?!

Maybe he was skyclad when he did it ?

For those in need of further info, there are a few (longer) stories available such as this one.

Thanks Kevy.He got fired for being the cool substitute. Boo. :(

Yeah, that was kind of my reaction as well.

I weep for our country.

So why don't they say he got fired for those things instead of "wizardry". Even saying he was fired for doing magic tricks instead of doing what he was supposed to be doing. But Wizardry? Come on folks - what century are you living in? Or is the author a huge harry potter fan and has always wanted to use that phrase in an article?

The reality is, they don't have to, and didn't, say why he was fired. As a substitute, he's an "at will" employee and they can terminate him with no justification. And more than likely, the district's lawyers are telling them specifically not to say why he was fired because once they make a specific claim as to why, then they open themselves up to counter claims, whereas if they leave it at, "We don't need to give a reason," there's nothing the teacher can do. So yeah, the reporters went with the most ridiculous headline they could muster.

Well, "It's On" now.

Spells to Be Cast at Anti-Marine Rally in California
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354689,00.html

I hope everyone there has been practicing their kegel exercises or whatever they need to do to block the powers of these witches, warlocks and homeless people.

Why should we? (And kegel exercises? WTF??) Many of us happen to agree with their stance on this ridiculous war.

Speaking from knowing him, I am pretty sure he knows what kegel exercises are, and just about as certain that you've taken the rest of the sentence slightly too seriously.

And, for the record, while I more-or-less agree with their (Code Pink's) stance on the war, I think the point of humor is that they're casting spells to end the war, or so the headline infers.

Why is it that we sometimes just assume people don't know what they're saying, rather than taking a step back to look at the brighter side of life?

Well, I don't know him. I could only go by what he wrote. If there was humor or sarcasm involved, it went completely over my head. It sounded, to me, that he was opposed to these women's efforts and supports the war.

The WTF was because I still don’t see WTF kegel exercises have to do with it.

Um, it has nothing to do with it, it's a joke. Yes, it did go over your head. I thought it was funny.

Now now, everybody knows (or should) that strong vaginal muscles are vital to repelling witches and homeless people. It doesn't actually work on warlocks, though, with them all you can hope for is enough strength that they get stuck until they promise to leave you alone.

I just thought his sense of humor was dry.

Kegel exercises can help with that.

Can salt really stop spells ? can any wiccans please explain ? or is it more of a placebo for those inside the salt [ring]

Either that or the internal friction will start a fire. And honestly, that would be a useful skill should you ever be on Survivor.

So either way you win.

Ironically, salt is used in the CASTING of spells. Theoretically, casting a circle of salt could protect one from spells from others, but

• The person must actually cast the circle of protection, not just pour a circle of salt (having a condom with you is not protection if it remains in you pocket while intercoursing)
• A protection spell is kind of a moot point against a protection spell

so, do you wear the condom while casting the salt ?

See, my humour's dry too...

Naw: its pretty moist.

Salt is a traditional protection against evil; not that I consider what the witches are doing to be evil.

Depends on whether or not you're doing sex magic. ;)

/me casts spell of anti-salt lube