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Stoat Art !!
By now you've all seen classic Stoat-Art such as the infamous "Air-Conditioned-Pug-In-A-Box":
Well, it appears that we are in danger of losing this fine visual talent to cunning words instead. Who wants to see more Stoat Art in posts?? (I do for one)... |
I voted for both as he is both a fine visual artist as well as a crafty wordsmith.
Just get him to post more often damnit! |
I'm for both as well. Yeah, Stoartart/Stoatprose!
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I want bacon. But that does not seem to be one of the options.
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gimme gimme! I find the visual of T-dog towing a refrigerated trailer around hilarious.
more! |
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I need me some more Stoat. in written form, imagery form, maiden form, and terra form. More More More!!
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Dear Bear,
How embarrassment !! I've never been a poll dancer, and besides, if you are going to show a product sample, please ensure it's the latest technology - that would be the wireless model. Can you imagine poor Thurston Howl the 3rd dragging around Model #783292i8o42u3i in the Yosemite Canyon ??? Get real !!! Only the DogDish (tm) will do for our Thurston, Lovey. Oh...and SusieAnne says "Hi". Hugs and kisses, The Stoat. |
ooooh oooooh! now do one where hes standing in the woods.....
with a martini!! :D |
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Hi Captain Jack,
Be careful what you wish for... Hugs from The Stoat. |
(psst, wrong national park, we're going to Kings Canyon/Sequoia)
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freakin love it
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The Lashpair, in their dreams at least, are aiming for the reputed 2010 Swank Lodge in Yosemite. Perhaps the remote version of the Thurston Box won't be ready till then.
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I'm still wondering how one can do a "wireless" (hoseless?) air pressure line
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To Lashbear and The Stoat:
You boys thrill my dried up raisin soul. Love, EH1812 |
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...and then of course there's this small Windows (tm) application I wrote for the fvckheads I work with - the initials SD = Staff Development.
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Dear Goulish Delight,
You are a picky b*stard...didn't you read the sign? Hugs, The Stoat. PS/ No, not Porn Star...how are you off for Server space? |
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Dear Kevy Baby,
Wireless aircon is nothing - SusieAnne Krellingshaw, aged 11.5 from Arkansas, currently studying ElectroTechnology at the Arkansas Heights lower junior school is developing wireless electricity. She has been quoted as saying "It'll be good, but the birdies won't have a thing to sit on". That of course is the least of SusieAnne's problems: The First Lady of Arkansas - Mayor Mendlehoffenburg's wife - had an unfortunate experience when she walked through the invisible transmission line and blew up her dentures and the lapsangsitue dog name "PookieWoodleDumpkins-ette". Medics arrived to find her mysteriously quiet for the first time in many years, clutching a dog leash terminated in what appeared to be a rather bad toupee. Undeterred, SusieAnne asserts that improvement will be made, in the form of "a tape-like line that follows the path of the transmitted electricity, so that folks can see where it goes". The 3M Corporation are poised to sign the deal. Company CEO Clive Gloppenmeister is predicting the sales of duct tape “to go through the roof” when the major states adopt the transmitted electricity scheme. It is also reported that 3M have yet to perfect the process of applying Post-It Note glue to the duct tape, so that birds don’t stick to it indefinitely. Stop Press: The First Lady is said to be recovering just fine, and the Funeral for PookieWoodleDumpkins-ette is this Thursday. No flowers, please. |
I want to know what happened to ignite the Stoat.
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Entire countries are run by crooks. |
I'm glad to see my designs being put to good use.
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Love and hugs, The Stoat XXX. |
Dear SusieAnne,
Shove a sock in it... Love from Uncle LashStoat. XXX |
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SusieAnn[e] comes from Arkansas (the city) in Arkansas (the state) - just like New York in New York. You've also upset the Mayor's wife Gretchen Mendlehoffenburg (who is still mourning the passing of little PookieWoodleDumpkins-ette the lapsangsitue) by failing to recognise the city for what it is - an early adopter of wireless electricity and leader in orthodontic technology. Sh*thead. And I bet you like whale bacon. |
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Did someone take off their shoes?
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I think the Stoat is on a roll, there's no stopping him now! |
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Ok... This is getting far too surreal for a school night!
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SPOON!!!
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Kreldon Bar !!
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You know, Susie- you're supposed to be 13 to post here. We'll need a signed note from your parents, missy.
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Dear Wendybeth,
Like a leopard - well spotted. That's why The Stoat has been posting on behalf of SusieAnne, and why SusieAnne (God love her cotton socks) should swallow one. It'll be duct tape next. So I guess she's been told then... Love and hugs, The Stoat XXX. |
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Anyway..... back to the art... What's next ? :D
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I screwed up, I misread and I really want both, all and any Stoaty goodness!
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OKay, so what did I miss?
Did Stoat injure himself? Has he been put on bed rest? or did the computer just suddenly jump into his path and direct him to his creative side? I love it, I'm just curious. :snap: |
Dearest Ponine - the answer has been sent.
Love and hugs, The Stoat XXX. |
I get it now.....
You know, you shouldnt stand for that! When the bear leaves, he cannot , CANNOT take the cpu with him!!! I mean thats just cruel. :p How were we to know the artist within the Stoat? Maybe he thought you would discover scary recipies for vegamite cocktails if he left it behind. I am glad that he reconsidered and let you play on the computer as well! I for one, love the art. If you need some pics of Thurston to alter, I can show you where they are! |
Stoat! Stoat! STOAT!
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so... can we have some art of a stoat, doing soemthing swanky?
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Most certainly my love - but it's 3:26am here, so I'll have to leave it for the morrow.
Hugs, The Stoat XXX. |
Norty stoat... make sure you sleep in today.
Love, The 6:15am Breakfast Bear..... |
Dear Stoat,
Please see the "while the campers are away" thread when you are concious again. Love, Me |
Ok, the pink power pole thing got me all hot and bothered. You remembered that I have a thing for that, didn't you?
I wish I could keep up with all this funnery. Work is sucky. |
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Field Research - Wireless Electricity Project.
The 3M Company has yet to develop a way of applying Post-It note glue to duct tape, so that birds do not get stuck indefinitely. |
ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now everyone's groundhogging wondering what I just shrieked out loud at...
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Do Aussie birdies usually hang out upside down? Just wondering....:D
(And do you all have groundhogs as well?) |
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Only when they are pissed !!! No - but we have road hogs. The Stoat XXX. |
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Holy crap, I'm being killed by a Stoat! :D
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I'm so confused...
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Dear All,
Here is a behind-the-scenes look at the Sydney NYE 2008 Fireworks: . . |
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..and whilst my imagination is running riot, this is how I picture a Gefilte Fish: . |
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...and a toasted sandwich made from one: . |
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This is a compliant sample of a BBQ/Fireplace for the newly-introduced Californian Fire Regulations. You will no doubt be aware that it all comes down to brick count now, irregardless [sic] of fuel type. You can build one as close to any other structure as you like. If you dare. Pictured is a 1 (one) Family 12,792 brick-count structure (and we will be counting): . . |
Did I ever tell you that when Bear and I stayed in San Diego, there was a sign in the room saying that "Candles and matches would be confiscated *" ?
That night, and true to their word, the maid took our prayer candles and our matches. Hotel Management saw to it that they were properly disposed of...well almost...they set fire to the basement and we had to leave the building, which was virtually pitch black. No bastard could see a thing. If only we had our candles...or a 12,792 brick regulation fireplace to light the way. *This bit is true. |
What about roman candles and signal flares?
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Dear CoasterMatt, No, the sign did not mention Roman Candles or Flares. However, they did not take my Roman Candles, Charles Manson meditation tapes, the pigs blood or indeed my 1970's pair of flares (though deep down I wish that they had). 75 days and counting dude... Hugs from the Stoat. |
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Stoat, you're creative when you can't sleep ! :eek:
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Following a request from her Uncle Lashbear, SusieAnne Krellingshaw, aged 12.5 from Arkansas, currently studying Food Technology at the Arkansas Heights lower junior school has developed a kilt made entirely from bacon.
Here we see Uncle Lashbear modelling the new kilt. When asked what he thought of his niece's design, Lashbear said: "It's a truly innovative design. I got hungry on the way to this photo shoot, and all I had to do was tear off a bit of the back hem line. The tripe lining prevents the garment from sticking to your legs, and it never needs dry-cleaning...one simply hangs it in a curing cupboard between uses." SusieAnne, however, is a little more critical of her own design: "Well", she said, "it does attract flies in summer and wild animals if you go to the park...but the biggest problem is that you constantly slip off your chair". Undeterred by these problems, SusieAnne has plans to create a poly-cotton printed version of the Kilt, which will come complete with faux-tripe lining and bacon-esther infused scent. . . . . |
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