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Hello, You've Got Rapture
You've Been Left Behind
This is a service where, under the assumption that you've been a good little Christian, you can compose emails to be sent to any friends and family that get left behind after the Rapture. It's set up such that the administrators (presumably they are all guaranteed to NOT be left behind) have to log in every day to reset a timer. If 3 of the 5 fail to log in for 3 days, must have been rapture and, after another 3-day waiting period, the emails are fired off. |
Part of me really hopes they are waiting for some set number of registrations and then they just send out the emails.
What if the rapture happens and god only takes 1 million people. How obvious would it be to those left behind? |
If you're a Jehovah's Witness, it's 144,000 people.
They used to promise that the first person in each family would go, when the world ended in 1915. Shortly after a very uncomfortable and embarrassing New Year's day, 1916, they said that there was a big war in heaven then, and the end of the OLD world happened. We just didn't notice it here. Then, after someone noted (sometime in the 70s) that there were more than 144K new families, the rule changed to say that yes, 144 thousand would go to heaven, but it was people who just *knew* that they were the ones. Yes, yes, that's what we meant all along. Sorry if I sound a little bitter, but I'm cleaning out old JW books from every closet of my dead Grandmother's home. When her money ran out, her "friends" disappeared and she pretty much died alone. |
I wouldn't want to be the guy that forgets to log in. "Sorry guys, I went on vacation, totally forgot."
If getting raptured is so important, shouldn't we notice if we aren't raptured? I thought it involved the earth going into some sort of hellish state. If not, then why should I care? I still get to do all the awesome stuff here on earth. |
It must be their way of saying 'neener, neener' from Heaven. Can gloaters get into Heaven? I wouldn't want to spend eternity with such assholes anyway.
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QAssholes: We're going to Heaven. We're going to Heaven. (arrive at the pearly gates) St Peter: So, I see your very last act on Earth was to gloat over the misfortunes of others. That's not very loving of you. I'm sorry, but I don't think you deserve to be in Heaven. DENIED!!!! |
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My son, my own little curmudgeon {every family has to have one, right Alex?} he will tell anyone who cares to listen, that it is all a myth. I so wanted to get him into the local Catholic school because I thought it would be a really good move academically...uh, even I can't sugar coat his attitude. |
I read that a lot of companies involved with sending spam are hooked up for the same thing. If there ever is a rapture, we're going to get stuff like, "The Rapture is Here! And would you not like a stronger errection?"
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How much of a shmuck would you feel like if you registered, set up a bunch of emails to be sent...then got left behind youself?
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Haha, you forgot to take Christ as your only Lord and Savior, you putz! Forgiveness, my ass! |
Love the way this has been twisted.
I would not use this "service"- However it is not as portrayed by posts here. But then that's not new to have the enlightened on LoT lampoon Christian things. Yeah yeah- joke joke- take it with a grain of salt- but sometimes it is damn annoying. |
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Oy |
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I try so hard to give you the benefit of the doubt N, but then stuff like this comes along and I wonder why I bother. |
I don't think there is only one Christian on the board but I think that there is only one person who takes things rather personally.
And yeah, to come back that way was a slam on the LoTers. But initial and subsequent posts were not slams directed at anyone here on the board. Whatever. It's almost Friday. |
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Nothing about that site is about rubbing it in someones face- it's about the fact that the Bible states that after the Rapture there is the Tribulation(though some question the actual time line) and during that time people can still accept Christ- the idea behind this site (which I also consider odd BTW) is for people to send an email to people they care about talking to them about accepting Jesus- not neener neener. I would be interested in an actual discussion of the theology of such things- but that is not what this has been- has it? Quote:
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Christ almighty-I can't have an opinion unless I join in the gaffes? I can't be annoyed by a post or a thread and express it? Again and then I am done-I attacked NO ONE, I commented on the tone of the posts and an attitude I see sometimes too often. For the most part I stay out of ANYTHING controversial or that pushes my buttons- so spare me the personal outrage! Oh and Wendy- friends? You mean the ones who understand that I don't have to agree and can take my disagreement without getting pissy about it? Right now I clearly do not have them. |
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I did not take it personally. Does no one here know that someone can express disagreement without it being "personal" and may have an opinion that is contrary to the thread and express it. Fvck it. I is out. You win. NOW it's personal. Friends my ass. |
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Nephy
We all tolerate differing opinions. Whether you chose to see it or not, your initial post was bitter and a blanket, wholesale attack on the LoT. The OP and subsequent posts were poking fun at one silly thing that a few people are doing in the name of Christianity. It was no where near a blast on Christianity, but a few misguided individuals. Lighten up, step back, take a deep breath and move along. Quote:
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I also didn't see anyone slamming others beliefs. I saw people think it would be funny if one of the people went on vacation, didn't log in and the system assumed they were raptured. I also saw comments that people found it presumptuous to assume that those using the site would not be "left behind". There are Christians, Catholics, Jews and Wiccans on this board. There may be people of other faiths too, who have yet to share. If you really hate those on LoT that much, and think that those on LoT just keep slamming you and your beliefs to attack you why do you keep coming back? |
I don't have anything to add, except I suppose I fall under the Christian category. For those keeping score, I was brought up American Baptist, and have also had a little Presbyterian sprinkled in when I was at Stanford.
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Indeed. In fact, I'm a Christian. Grew up Catholic, and still think that Christ's philosophies are terrific. But I also happen to think that Christ's philosophies have been bastardized and misinterpreted in a variety of ways.
Lots of people in this community are quick to make fun of anything, especially when it has to do with someone being cocksure. And what could be more cocksure than knowing for certain you're going to be part of the Rapture? I'm all for faith. I'm all for believing whatever you believe, provided you're not harming anyone, or forcing it on them. But I think that faith and doubt go hand in hand, and that anyone so cocksure that they'll find salvation in heaven isn't paying attention to all of the words of the Bible, isn't paying attention to their daily mistakes and human flaws. The truly holiest Christians I've met are humble ones, who don't presume to be the holiest, don't project it, and who've clearly taken to heart the Bible's dogma, the Beatitudes that remind Christians that the poor in spirit will see the kingdom of god, the meek will inherit the earth. They go about their lives doing good as best as they can, and not letting the left hand of the world see what their right hand is doing. This service doesn't smack of humility, even if users' intentions are to help those left behind. But here's the thing: the humble people are often humble because life has humbled them. So they're in touch with the realization that they're human, they're imperfect. And these people certain of their ultimate rapturous salvation? They're imperfect. The people making fun of the people who are certain of their ultimate rapturous salvation? They're imperfect. Those people lashing out at the people making fun of the people who are certain of their ultimate rapturous salvation? They're imperfect too. We're ALL imperfect. And we all have different viewpoints and it's a complex life to navigate. So it's best to allow people a little breathing room - for their beliefs, for their humor, for their own good. A stuffy room isn't a comfortable one. |
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But no Methodists: we don't allow their kind around these parts. Quote:
American Baptists - 2 Protestants - 2 Jews - 9 Catholics - 4 Jehovah's Witnesses - 1 Atheists - 5 Mennonites - 2 Wiccans - 5 Buddhists - 1 Heathens - 17 Confusionists - 1 Shintoists - 56 Hinduists - 3 Sikhismists - 1 Taoists - 21 Voodoo practitioners - 9 Mowahhidoonists - 14 Scientologists - 34 Zoroastrianismists - 2 Satanists - 3 Hare Krishnists - 721 Gnosticts - 1 Elian Gonzalezists - 6 Members of the Church of the Poison Mind - 8 Methodists - 0 (as I said above: we just don't like their ilk) |
You forgot about Bahá'ís.
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I should add that I didn't post what I did too lightly. It took years of seeking and not finding, mostly as a Baptist (and then through a variety of phases afterward), for me to come to an agnostic decision. I am not atheist.
But, the point being, I think most people were trying to look at the service with a sense of humor. I do. And the story goes that though the Earth is more-or-less hell there's still the chance for salvation after the fact wasn't lost on me. It's what the whole Left Behind series was about and that was kind of the big thing at my church growing up, since it was a relatively new series of movies. I can still find an online email service kind of funny, right? Plus, I wonder if when I bought the "pass" with my one-time acceptance of Christ if it's really, truly good for a lifetime. You know, just in case. Acceptance of such a spiritual thing doesn't come with warranty options... |
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I apologize. It was not a YAGE- I was backing out of the thread. I reacted in hurt and anger-hello, I'm human too. Quote:
I don't hate anyone here. It hit a nerve- the discussion of why may be interesting- however I am not up to it. Keep coming back? I'm always here-not like I left. I do think that sometimes there are comments made here that are somewhat careless of the affront they may cause others- inadvertantly I made one myself. Sorry. |
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I think the site is ridiculous- but then I have many reasons for thinking it. However my discomfort with some comments made here are not going to be discussed reasonably today- so I am leaving off. I did however- appreciate your post- and am glad that your message to me brought me back to see it. Thanks |
BTW: I am Wiccan. And Wicca is the BEST religion around. All other religions are just poser religions.
:D |
Visible mojo to Nephy for above.
BTW, I'm a scoffer, but I know how hard it can be to reel it in the way she just did. |
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I'm non-denominational.
Start another category. |
I don't find the service in the original post all that odd. I find the religious beliefs behind it odd, but no odder than any of the other religious beliefs people hold.
And the people on this board are for the most part very quick to talk about how open minded and accepting they are of religious diversity so long as it is within the relatively narrow confines of what they already agree with. And you are very quick to take offense whenever it happens. And I think that all of you non-atheists are, in a very fundamental way, insane, ignorant, or otherwise brain damaged. But that doesn't mean you aren't nice people. And back on the OP topic, I don't find the theology odd or amusing. I do find the potential for scamming and abuse (as mentioned in my first post) to be interesting and, yes, amusing. |
visible mojo Alex!
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Folks, the Rapture already happend. Everybody was too busy masterbating to notice...
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Does anyone else have a certain Blondie song stuck in their heads, too?
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Just a follow up on the "insane..." I mean that in pretty much the way Mark Twain wrote of it back in 1907:
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Thanks for putting Blondie in my head....... pffffttt
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Five Freddie told me everybody's high
DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind Flash is fast, Flash is cool Francois sez fas, Flashe' no do And you don't stop, sure shot Go out to the parking lot And you get in your car and you drive real far And you drive all night and then you see a light And it comes right down and lands on the ground And out comes a man from Mars And you try to run but he's got a gun And he shoots you dead and he eats your head And then you're in the man from Mars You go out at night, eatin' cars You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too Mercuries and Subarus And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars Then, when there's no more cars You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet Face to face, dance cheek to cheek One to one, man to man Dance toe to toe Don't move too slow, 'cause the man from Mars Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall He's gonna eat 'em all Rapture, be pure Take a tour, through the sewer Don't strain your brain, paint a train You'll be singin' in the rain I said don't stop, do punk rock |
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... and here I was thinking you were talking about the last song on Parallel Lines...
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NICE!
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You forgot me. Episcopalian. Can't usually spell it right.
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Also, just for gits and shiggles: http://www.biblicalrapture.net/ http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Re...re_Racket.html http://www.askelm.com/doctrine/d760201.htm Also, google John Wilson Darby - oopsie, the Rapture was made up in the 1800s and isn't even in the Bible! |
He also forgot the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
May the meatballs of wrath rain down upon all non-believers!!! |
Of course, then the whole rapture issue raises the issue of discrimination:
As HR Manager of an Airline, do I discriminate against hiring Christian Pilots, on the off-chance that they will disappear and leave a plane load of passengers to crash ? Is this a reasonable and legal excuse for discrimination: OH&S ? |
Gods bless Mark Twain. I love his writing.
Personally I find the idea of emails in a holding pattern pending the rapture to be a little odd. For reasons already mentioned. Honestly, are these things you'd like to say to people but you don't dare? Is a post-rapture conversion less good? I'd be believing only because in the event of the rapture, I'd have proof and that leaves no need for faith. |
A little while back, bumper stickers claiming "In Case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Abandoned" were quiet popular. Shortly thereafter, I saw a retort bumper sticker: "In Case of Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?"
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Oh, no, I've been witnessed to. By a lot of people. I know they mean well but I find it insulting, insinuating that I am not a good person {they tell me that being a good person isn't enough, the things I do are not enough. I have to say what they want me to, they have to see me accept Christ.} I think, whatever beliefs I have, they are between me and my God. I don't need an audience and I don't hide either. |
Pastafarian 4 Life
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Thank god I'm a hedonist
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LOL alphabassettgrrl, so true!!! Like 'Cry Uncle!!!!'
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I've been very lucky all things considered. There's a Kingdom Hall dangerously close to here, yet they've never bothered evangelizing in my neighborhood.
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I pity the poor JW's who come to our door. When I tell them that we are a Catholic/Mormon household, they usually give up. |
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I've often thought it would be a fun gag to set up a "dead man switch" that will send out emails upon my demise. Only 3 things stopping me:
1) I haven't figured out exactly what I want everyone to know after I pass. It sort of depends on how I go out, and that's kind of hard to plan for. 2) With my luck I'd accidentally trigger the sending of the emails prematurely. 3) I'd have to actually maintain the email list or it just wouldn't work. And that requires way more work than I'm willing to put into this. Maybe I'll just put some kind of statement in my will. But that brings us back to #1. |
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I suppose here would be as good a place as any to point out disbeliefnet. We lampooned beliefnet for Bill Maher's Religulous. I recommend the e-cards.
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And you used one of my favorite photos:  |
The code is: "I've been disfellowshipped."
They spin on their heels and skedaddle. |
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Some of these old books are ebayable. |
Is it polite to quote a section of a post that someone subsequently deleted?
(I am not picking on Trac. - I just found it amusing.) |
Um, what?
ETA: wow, I'm being such a little pedant these days! But only to combat Kevy's pedantry! (OK. No, not just only. I admit it. I'm pedantic.) |
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My bad and apologies all around. And thank you to LSPE for pointing out the error of my ways. I stand repentant. |
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sorry, it had to be said SOMEWHERE in here... |
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All I can think of is JW Bear going house to house...
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Two nuns walk into a bar. One says *ouch*, that hurt.
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Visible mojo to you, Lashbear, for your Speedo clad self swimming your way to us in your countdown timeline!!!
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"Oh, crap," he slurred. "That wasn't a penguin!"
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A Priest, A Rabbi and a Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Heh: is this a joke?" |
:D
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The way I learned it was "two <<variable valuable>> walk into a bar...the third one ducked."
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(Imagine BTD's post not in there)
Hickory Dickory Dock Three mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one and the other two escaped with minor injuries |
haha
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