Help Us End the R-Word
 

Special Olympics is designating next Tuesday, March 31 the day to “Spread the Word to End the Word.” Help end the use of the slur “retard”.

For more information and to join the campaign, visit their website. They've got info, blog buttons, and everything else you can imagine.

Thanks in advance for considering helping.

Saying retard is so gay!

I saw that guy on Bonnie Hunt. I think a lot of words that used to be common use are now politically incorrect and should be gone from our everyday vocab.

In this case, the word itself doesn't (and shouldn't) be banned from our language; just the usage in this case.

I was just at a Special Olympics planning session for the upcoming Games in Orange County (as usual, I am volunteering) and there was no mention of this. I will have to ask my contact about it.

Okay, I'll play devil's advocate. While I don't condone making fun of disabled people, I feel that the word is often an apt criticism of the presumptively abled--even though I think it more than say it. If we can't say "retard," may one/must one then say, "He repeatedly engages in conduct, the foolishness of which should be obvious to anyone of even borderline normal intelligence"? If we can say that, aren't we saying the same thing as "God, what a retard." If we can't say "retard," do we also lose "idiot" and "moron" and other terms that have at their root a specific definition of cognitive limitations?

No; we need those words to describe Moonliner

No. “Retard” is a slur. “Retarded” works in a developmental context to describe intellectual development. It's nicer and more accurate to keep the linguistic focus on the individual, not the disability.

Call my brother developmentally disabled, autistic, or impaired. Call him a "retard" and all bets are off.

I like "dumbass" for that.

Alright, I can get behind that.

eta - 3894's post, not Andrew's.


actually, Andrew's too.

Unfortunately, this is what happens when we use the appropriate words to describe you....

Kevy is a ***** rat ***** ***** ****** son of a ****** *******.

I've always said, Kevy's 5-star all the way.

There are plenty of ways to let someone know you find them cognitively inept. But I've long thought that people who use "retard" as a casual slur do sound pretty boorish.

There was an episode of The Larry Sanders Show in which Hank guest-hosted for a couple of nights. His first time up was a rousing success, but on his second night, he lost the audience by his use of the word "retard." It prompted a classic TV moment of oh-so-awkward discomfort comedy. Another pop culture moment that comes to mind is in Woody Allen's wonderful comedy Bullets Over Broadway, in which the ditzy gangster moll wannabe star Olive calls something "retarded" in her own completely clueless way. I recall thinking that this singular moment, which succeeds in making Olive look as stupid as humanly possible, should have put that particular epithet into permanent retirement. Check it out. (If for no other reason than that its one of Woody's best and most accessible comedies.)

I'm fine with it, but it is a game of moving goalposts.

If no person is ever called retarded but rather autistic it is just natural (without saying it is good or bad) that in a certain amount of time whatever new term is used will become bad. I can see in 20 years one friend saying to another who just locked his keys in the car "man, you're so autistic sometimes."

Similarly, the terms of African Americans did the same thing over the years. Working in the serials collection at the Universal of Washington it was interesting to see long running academic journals focused on blacks in America change their name every couple decades as the currently acceptable term for blacks became tainted as derogatory.

In the case of retarded, I think a more likely course to success is to not try and get rid of the word altogether but rather to give it up and let it be a word meaning "boneheaded" or "stupid" and do our best to just make sure it no longer actually has a clinical or real person definition. Kind of like has happened with moron and idiot. We still have the general non-clinical meaning but no actual morons or idiots are offended because there is nobody that actually falls under the label any more.

I would never call a person who is developmentally disabled a retard or retarded. I would call Kevy a retard if he deserved. it.


As a mater of fact, I have started using this word again ever since the commercials for "Stop Using the Word "Gay". Both of terms I never used and suddenly they have been added back to my vocabulary.

Does this mean I have to stop making a face, hitting my chest with a limp wrist and saying "duurrrrr" when people act stupidly? ;)




True. So what?

If?







Oh wait; that was about me...

I thought I pretty much explained the "so what" as I see it. Why, even if successful, it likely isn't going to solve the underlying issue. That just as words can gain new definitions they can shed them as well (in usage if not in the OED), and that in this case it may be more productive in the long term to shed a definition than to try and salt this linguistic ground and hope you can avoid a repeat on the new homestead.

Section 26 of the California Penal Code lists the categories of people who may not be prosecuted for the crimes they commit. Among these are "persons who are mentally incapacitated." This is new language, added last year, to replace the previous description, "idiots."

A year or so earlier, I attended a continuing legal education session where the presenter was going through the statute. He got to "idiots," looked out at us and said, "Ah, if only." The room broke up.

Retard seems to be in resurgence - a staple of my childhood, I don't think I heard the word uttered for many years until quite recently. Now it's everywhere. My African-American Boss uses it all the time, even though her Asian admin assistant has an autistic child. My Lesbian colleague called her on that, but she herself keeps calling things gay.

I have to agree with NA on this. I wouldn't call a mentally challenged person retarded, but I probably would call a stupid person (or person behaving stupidly) that.

IMHO, "retard" only marginally applies to the developmentally disabled any more, and I think continued use of it only in regards to non-disabled people will further separate the slur from its original victims and convert the meaning.

You can't win a game of moving goal posts if you continually aim at the current endzone.

Thing is, you can't "let it be a word meaning "boneheaded" or "stupid"" because when people say retarded they don't mean boneheaded, they mean "you are acting like someone who was born mentally deficient." That's what the word is continuing to mean, and I don't think that's going to change any time soon, as it's still clinging to that even as the technical term fades.

This reminds me of my childhood friend who was forbidden by her liberal parents to call anyone "stupid" or "dumb". It's one of those things that as a (foul-mouthed) kid, seemed ludicrous to me, but as an adult, does make some sense. It's a truly insulting thing to say to someone.

The other side of that story is that the word she used for her younger siblings was "silly". She did use it in a softer manner than me spitting out "UR DUMB" to my brothers. "That seems silly to me", she'd say to them. Her upbringing didn't allow sarcasm and outright meanness, but it did seem to allow for a condescending tone. So in the end she found a way to basically say the same thing with different words and tone.

What I'm trying to say is, you're right, it's a moving target. And that is the nature of language. I fully believe that this problem has been around forever and will continue to be around. Your example of "moron" and "idiot" proves that even if we did follow your tactic of letting "retard" become the same, the new words that replace "retard" will become the offensive terms. I have heard people call each other "mentally challenged" as an insult. Another good example is "special", the ultimate in backfiring attempts to correct the same sort of problem. Even the most simple of sentences - "I'm special" - means something totally different than it did 30 years ago.

The term I'm hearing used most often now (in serious tones) is "special needs". I think that term has another 5 years tops before it's done.

I don't think there's any changing how this goes, no preventing the cycle from continuing. As long as we have words for people that have disabilities, people without those disabilities are not going to want to be called those words, and thus, the names have power and are going to be abused. When it's time, we shift terms. Makes sense to me.

No, I disagree. Most of the time I hear the word it is not at all used in the way you say. If I were to say "You retard, you forgot to DVR Kings" there is absolutely no sense in which I mean "hey, you might have a hidden case of Downs Syndrome." I just mean you did something stupid. Of course, I don't really call anybody a retard simply because it isn't in the slang dictionary for me childhood. I'm happy with "short busser."

But maybe you hang out with meaner people than I do.

But yes, we agree the cycle will continue. So why do it? Rather than worrying about what word gets used in contexts outside of the people we're worried about I'd rather focus on how they're treated.

I think there is some reason to avoid the usage under discussion. People with mental disabilities mostly know very well what the word "retarded" means, and know that it applies to them. To some extent, they must own it as part of their identity, (in a way that they don't have to own idiot or moron)- so it's galling or hurtful to hear society use it as a casual substitute for those other epithets. Friends and family may be saying, "No, you're not stupid, you're different" (or whatever), but elsewhere they are hearing that word (which they can't help but identify themselves with) and it seems to mean stupid, worthless and incompetent to the larger social sphere. Moreover, people saying it to one another are often expressing impatience, contempt and disregard for their target. ("You lost the keys? What are you, retarded?") The disabled person overhears and thinks, well, that includes me too. I suspect this is what the effort is trying to raise consciousness about.

By rough comparison, it's a bit like hearing someone denigrate somebody else by saying, "What are you, a woman?"

So, I'm in sympathy, but then, I'm an oversensitive doofus.

Along those same lines, I probably wouldn't ever use the preferred phrase "differently-abled" as opposed to disabled but I don't use "Handicapped" any longer (interesting etymology) but i do say "USE a wheel chair" as opposed to "Confined" to a wheel chair. Wheel chairs are anything BUT confining when you have mobility issues.

I remember when a lot of us out at the theme parks used to say "wheelchair guests." as in "Wheelchair guests, please use the front and back rows of the theater." (yikes - and I was guilty of this one myself)

We were wisely counseled to say "Guests using wheelchairs."

I've only rarely heard cast members use disabled or handicapped. (I do recall an older cast member used to point and say "Handicap access is that way.")

3894 posted this here and on MousePad.

Interesting experiment in how the same starting point can go in different directions.

This whole debate is retarded.

Somehow I don't see that one. 'Autistic' is not a very funny sounding word. Plus it is too close to 'artistic' and your friend may misconstrue your comment as suggesting he lost his keys artfully. I think 'obtuse' has a better chance of coming back in fashion. 'Damn, Ricky, why you so obtuse? Please conclude this missing key predicament!'

For all its apparent inappropriateness, retard is a funny sounding word, which is why it has endured. Either way, I believe 'retard' has lost most of its power to truly offend.

Uhoh. I think I've just added "gay-tard" to my vocabulary.

I think people find too many things to be offended over.

That's true enough - but on the other hand, an awful lot of people respond to sincere requests of "please don't say/do that" with an attitude of "fvck you, I'll do it MORE now!"

I always disagree with attempts to legislate, demand or coerce changes in social behavior. I'm often in sympathy, however, with people who use a public platform to try to reasonably persuade others to be more thoughtful. I bet it's a thankless task.

I went through this a short while back with "That's so gay."

I used to say it all the time ... and, as a gay man, I feel I have the right. But once I got involved in gay activism, more and more people started to object (not just Gemini Cricket). :p


For a while I was tellilng people to get over themselves. It's a phrase that I never said meaning to insult homosexuals. Much like "moron" does not really insult retards, er, um the developmentally disabled.

In fact, just as eskimos have 24 words for snow, I was pretty insistent that "lame" was not an acceptable substitute for "gay." Lame "gay" is a particular sub-set of lame, i.e., the lameness of something inappropriately effeminate. Like C(hick)adaverous Pallor wearing a flower in her hair would not be gay, but G(uy)houlish Delight doing the same would be so gay.

Granted, the phrase stems from a negative connotation of a certain stereotypical aspect of male homosexuality .... but, like the afore-mentioned "idiot" and "moron," has moved far beyond that root meaning (but not completely).


Anyway, my roundabout point is ... it didn't matter. A lot of people I was going to be interacting with took offense at the phrase, and so I dropped it out of consideration.

And sure, the goalposts will keep moving ... and if we drop "retard" today, it's replacement might be just as offensive in 20 years. But that's 20 years of not causing offense to people who need no more grief.


So I'll drop it.





Except, of course, when referring to Kevy. ;)

I wanted to do x-post with the Breastaurant thread but since: 1) no one could possibly handle that thread better than the LoT crew and 2) it would make some extra work for stan4d_steph and Drince88 and -most importantly -possibly for moi, why bother?

You LoTers never disappoint.

This isn't true. The story was started by the anthropologist Franz Boaz who noted that the Central Esquimaux have different words for different kinds of snow. Somehow, this whole thing grew many years later - in the early 1970's. The number kept spiraling up, sort of like the Chief Seattle story that was invented by a newspaper editor in Texas. Anyway, it's [strike]gay[/strike], [strike]retarded[/strike] campy to repeat this thing about snow. Euro-Americans have only one word for snow but Esquimos have many different words for different kinds of snow perpetuates a stereotype about Native Americans being more in tune with their surroundings than the rest of us.

This isn't true. That story was stared by evangelical missionaries who upon visiting the particular Eskimo culture studied by Dr. Boaz determined that the word "snow" did in fact translate into English as "sex" and further that there we considerably more than 24 variations on the word in common use (espically during the winter months).

What, we're going to have to start an Eskimo Rumors thread now?

Some of my extended family have simplified this rule and teach their kids "Stupid is a naughty word." They've also included "hate" as another naughty word. You can't say, "I hate liver" in their house. Ugh. Somehow this got to my kids and they all gasped in shock one day when I said, "This TV show is stupid." I've had to unteach my kids and explain that calling people stupid is rude. In fact, being mean and calling people names in general is rude. But the word "stupid" is not a bad word.

I know why parents take this shortcut approach to teaching their kids., but I think it's lazy parenting. When kids grow up thinking the "s-word" and "f-word" are "stupid" and "fart," it might be funny and cute but really doesn't teach them the core value you're trying to instill.

By the way, you may freely use "fart" in my house. We all say it. But I often wonder what other parents think of my "foul mouthed kids" when they say it. :D

If you can't say "fart" the terrorist have won.

Oh we say fart all the fartin' time. Especially when the dog farts. For such a little guy - he's really a stinker like that.

And no name calling. Although my husband and I call each other names when the kids aren't around... but it's more in a playful manner even if it's negative. To give you an example, I called him a fart eating fart monster that smells like farts in a recent email.

No, we really don't have a thing with farts even though this post would seem to indicate otheriwise.

/fart

Are you sure you're not my sister?

Fart was a work I was forbidden to say as a child. I still feel uncomfortable when I say it. Somehow, the worst of words were never addressed so Shyt, Fu<k and others of that nature flow freely as needed.

Are you busy next November and do you want to go to Philadelphia? We could give a joint paper - let's call it "The 'S' Word" - at the American Anthropological Association. Fair warning: I'll be wearing dangly ethnic earrings, a Mexican embroidered dress, and hairy legs.

I too was forbidden from saying fart. I got my mouth washed out for saying hell in the context of "what in the hell is this?".

Being a brilliant child, I used "dam as in reservoir". That didn't fly either.

Yes, I too find "fart" a far more dreadful word than any of the big offenders. (One reason may simply be a reflex - whenever the word was bandied about by siblings or school-chums, inevitably someone followed up by producing the real thing, to peals of laughter by all but me. So, perhaps by avoiding the word I'm also trying to avoid that which it denotes.)

Still, my cat Illuminati produces farts that can kill. Jiminy Crickets!

We could say fart, though we'd get a look if we said it at the dinner table.

Just the other night, hubbo and I were discussing whether cats ever let one. He said he thought not. Now we know hubbo was sadly wrong. It's not the first time.

I'm curious, who's legs will you be wearing?

Fruit bat legs. GC has promised to send me a pair next time he orders soup.

And this ultimately gave rise to the relatively new word "snowclone" (which I find fun to say as well as to spot) out of the world of linguistics.

What about replacement words for swear words. For example, if a child gets into trouble if they use the word "fvck", should they also get into trouble if they use "fudge" instead (in appropriate context) since the sentiment is the same?

Early on I counseled my kids on the appropriate use of language. Like all words, swear words have a place in our language and should be used properly just like any other word. They are meant to express extreme emotion and if the 'F' word F'n comes out of your F'n mouth ever other F'n word then it looses it's meaning. Swear words must be used sparingly and in the correct context (ie never if Grandmother is around.....) Oddly enough that opinion put me at odds with all the uptight F'ed up PTA moms at Headliners school.

The use of 'Fudge', 'Frack', 'FireTruck', etc... suffers from the same fate, if you use them all the time then what's the point?

Swear words are only "naughty" because people get bothered by them. If nobody cringed at "fvck" then it wouldn't get censored. It feels just as good to yell frak, so the word itself has no power. And it's not really the meaning that bothers people since "freaking" means the same thing as "fvcking," but I can say "freaking" around my wife and kids without her yelling at me.

But I don't use swear words because there are still people who are bothered by them. And since I interact with these types of people all the time I don't want to let one slip. I intend to teach this value to my kids.

I used the phrase "pissed off" once with someone who may or may not be one of the easily offended types (didn't know him well enough) and, although he didn't say anything and didn't even flinch, I've wondered if it bothered him.

Incidentally, why are swear words censored on LOT? Since it clear that circumventing the censor is allowed, why even censor?

Anyway, my next move at home is to get people to stop requiring the obligatory "excuse me" after letting out a fart or burp. If I'm burping or farting on purpose I'm not trying to be polite, so saying "excuse me" seems rather pointless. But when I let one rip I get in trouble for not saying "excuse me." I'm sorry, but I just let out a raunchy stinker and a couple words make it all better?

In polite company when something slips out then, yes, I can see reason for saying something. Otherwise, just let 'er rip! :evil:

I always assumed that it has to do with LoTers reading from work.

I believe it's to get around censors that may be in place at LoTer's places of business. We generally don't give a fücking sh¡t about cursing, but sometimes Big Brother does. I'm sure an admin will correct or elaborate.

Because swear words look naughtier when censored.

In one of my morphing novel/screenplay thingies, one of my characters makes the point that much of the evil that men do would disappear if it were stigmatized as gay. E.g., "The president wants to invade Iraq? What a fag."

No thanks, we don't want him.

And so my kind - nay, noble! - request ends with a mind picture of GW Bush bending over to pick up the soap.

Not with a bang but with a whimper, eh?

a visual snowclone

That's true: I don't notice them when written normally, but put in a couple of asterisks, and they stick out like a sore thumb

That's so true.

You're such an *******

I've always enjoyed Jimmy Kimmel's unnecessary censorship segments. Not only are they hilarious but they point out the obvious flaw in censorship. Hearing "f***" is no different from hearing "fvck." We all know what was said under that bleep. Especially when it's more like "f**k" (which is more and more common). The mind still fills it in. So even if our precious virgin ears are saved from corruption, our mind is right there in the gutter. But for some unknown reason, those who are offended by "fvck" aren't offended by "f**k." I just don't get it.

Things have gone awry when taking bits from Jimmy Kimmel.

Yes the words are censored so as to not have the site blocked from work. Though I suppose that's just a question of time as the firewalls get taller and thicker. Perhaps when LoT is banned from my workplace we'll remove the filters.

The reason why we censor words on LoT is not because the Puritans that created LoT are against these words but because, if certain Big Brothers at certain workplaces found these totally awful words were a part of our site, they would block the offending site from workers. Now, we wouldn't want that, would we?


And, back to cussing, I love to cuss in foreigh languages. Scheiße and Merde being my favorites.

The only thing good about the Matrix sequels was when one of the characters remarked on how delightful it is to cuss in French!

Chris and I really don't talk at all when we're at home.

We're so retarded

So, what's for dinner?

I've always found "enculer" to be amusing (not irl, sorry boys)

Ah


How about the girls?

So that's what "bugger" means. Awesome.

We discovered recently that South Park releases full episodes online in full quality immediately, minus the bleeping. It's rather tempting to just watch it online instead of on TV. If it were easier to get online streaming onto our TV, I'd probably go for that.

La la la (SFW)