Attack of the haikus!
 

It's that time again
to start counting syllables
Show us what you got.



Does intimacy
Grow with shared experience?
How much should be shared?

Remain seated please.
Permanecer sentados por favor.
Is that a corn dog?

passing mount fuji
en route to the Disney park
my bento beckons

Lounge of Tomorrow:
A swanky place to visit
But we live in here

Haikus really blow
from the mousepad I did go
when haikus flowed

MickeyLumbo is
one cool cat. Make me smile,
make me laugh. Corndog.

It must be Spring now
People are either horny
or very angry.

Pulse racing faster
May third is drawing closer
Final exams suck

How to get mojo:
Come up with something clever.
Or, just quote Python.

Python is icky
You won't get mojo from me
by quoting that shyte.

The last time, I wrote
nothing but haikus about
composing haikus

dang, there's another
I really need to stop that
it's uncreative







Decissions seem right
when made, but we're often not
prepared for results.

Fiddler and Fifer
probably wouldn't either.
But Practical would.

Haikus! Hip, Hooray!
Counting sounds is infectious
Burrows into brain

Must go pay the rent
Also have some faxing that
Should be done there, too.

Twelve Syllable Joke:
Termite enters a bar. Asks:
The bar tender here?

Bright Eyes, like Dylan
Writes of New York with folk style
Raw, honest voices.

Mama bird wiggles,
Fuzzy babies wiggle too.
She vomits their food.

I let the plant die.
Why don't I care about life
When it's in plant form?

The porch needs a rinse.
Rains don't reach. People below.
I can't rinse, either.

Moonliner, don't go
Haikus not really that bad
Passing fad they be

Odd sound most of you
I cannot understand why
I needed to try

Animal: carcass
A dead person is a corpse.
What's a dead plant called?

Salad?

Salad is quite good
Waldorf, Chinese Chicken - nice
Greek, not so yummy

"Just out of waldorfs,"
a Python - salad reference.
Well, Fawlty Towers.

i defend the greek
feta, so sweet, so salty
why does it offend?

reading some memoirs
to research a new screenplay.
Rosebud, and Run-Through

funny, point-of-view.
one thing happens, but twenty
ways to interpret.

orson welles said that
houseman was in love with him
(he thought all men were.)

houseman's metaphor
likely confused welles; genius
knew not subtlety.

o, for unbiased
source! too long since mercury's
evaporated.

how to interview
peter bogdanavich? call
his agent, maybe?

"This is Orson Welles"
by Peter B. is rife with
exaggerations.

Leaming's Orson tome
is much more believable
but not as much fun.

I want to know more
about your screenplay, LS.
When will it be done?

not soon enough for
my tastes! bf and i stuck
in our day jobs, sigh!

the narrative rests
on john and orson's friendship
(if you call it that)

if we find a grant
(and are granted that grant) then
we could concentrate.

there's so much to do
to get a better picture
parsing fact from fic.

it seems all of welles'
stories are whale-of-a-tale.
read simon callow?

Olives revolt me
Feta I feel just okay
Cucumber is nice

Sure, I've read Callow.
I admire his research,
his tone, not so much.

The very thought of
writing about Welles shows that
old Orson had "weight".

There's a certain charm
in keeping fiction and fact
a little confused.

Especially when
he broadcast 'War of the Worlds'
and filmed 'F for Fake'.

I think of Houseman
as the law school professor
from "The Paper Chase"

If you get your grant
And finish your work quickly
I'd love to read it.

by all means you must
read houseman's Run-Through.
fascinating man.

the manchild savant
spent life blurring lines between
his realities

a welles biopic
ought to foxtrot around the
chalk-smudged truths therein.

while i want to keep
discussing our shared interest,
we've hijacked the thread!

to shift the groovin'
a nonsequitor haiku
will follow this one

first you take a rag
put it in the bag, bump-bump.
do not feed the bears

Heidi is master of the haiku. MASTER!

1. The right size, he said
Or is it? I sighed. For it
Was certainly not

2. I manic the days,
Friends; I panic in rapture
As limbo awaits.

3. Caligula lived
In fear of the God son his
Sister might have born.

4. Electricity
And Ennui are dark hearts
Webbed in Filigree

"Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee
An actor's life for me!" Sad
Pinnoke in a cage.

"A dream is a wish
Your heart makes," Cindy singing
Birds and mice sew clothes.

Bambi ads make me
think of Animaniacs.
"Oh no, Bumbi's mom!"

One day very soon
I will return Persuasion
Back to Eliza.

Laundry in dryer
Zippers clanking in the drum
I feel productive


My laptop beckons
Window open to the LoT
Where did the time go?


Hiking up the hills
Muscles wakening from rest
My couch must miss me

I cannot believe
that Cadaverous Pallor
did not start this thread.


Monty Python reigns
supreme in twisted humor
shall I quote some more?

Lupins, dead parrots
and cheesy combustibles
would you like some Spam?

A much better game
For the boys in blue today.
Hope it's a pattern

Long live the shoebox
In my own "room" once again
No more crapintosh

The hot dog was great
The weather was beautiful
But the wrong team won.

And so it begins,
The Dodgers quest to repeat
As NL West champs

I am a real 'tard.
What this is I still don't know.
what the fvck says I.

something is stupid
on my television now, why
am i still watching?

Rivalries are good.
Our stadia sat empty -
We watched Boston sweep.

Barry did not play.
Or did you mean the other
ballpark hot dog, yo?

Masters starts today
See Phil Mickelson's man boobs
jiggle while he swings

Should have reloaded
before responding to see
if anything changed.

"Colors of the Wind"
Chokes me up for some reason.
(Is this the wrong thread?)

Confess in Haiku
Quote swanky films, wondering
about the Pope's death.

In the past, no one
ever had to multi-task
their conversations.

More on the Masters
Predictions on the victor?
Ernie, VJ, Phil?

Tiger has a shot
He has been driving better
But Phil's got short game

Perhaps an unknown?
Like a Darren Clarke maybe
Mix it up a bit

Sac, what do you say?
Great golf pontificator
That we know you are

The great Bobby Short
has gone to play Cole Porter
with Heaven's angels. :(

The rain has returned-
pounding hard against my house.
When will it stop?

Spread open the folds
Enjoy the sweet musty scent.
I love a good book.

Poetry like this
makes me cross my legs and blush.
Kinda nasty, eh?

Get your mind out of
the gutter. I was just praising
great literature.

I know you too well.
You laughed at "master baker".
Always, gutter mind.

Loser Status, me?
These days, quality over
quantity, I guess.

I sat here and felt
His post rather revealing
But thought my take wrong

I see now in glee
That I was not all alone
In my gutter mind

Like the saying goes,
"Reading is fundamental."
Henry Miller rocks!

Rain on the Masters
That makes 4 weeks in a row
PGA's all wet.

Guilt! I don't wanna.
There's stuff to do, but I
Keep clicking "New Posts".

Chainsaw noise out front-
Tree removed from vacant lot.
Nice view or bad news?

Made my day, this did;
You crack me up with lots and
lots of smiling.

Hard to say. Will Phil
be in the mix? Probably.
Tiger? Yes. Els? Yes.

Vijay, not so much.
I'll take Phil to defend his
green jacket. Or not.

Projects are all done
Nothing due any time soon
Too much time to kill

Coworker resigned
I thought he was nice enough
Others say different

I saw Tiger Woods
putt the ball way off the green
into a wet creek

Tiger, oh Tiger
Yes, I suck badly at golf
but not that badly

Tiger has wet ball.
Does Tiger's caddie dry his
balls when they get wet?

Why is it that I
must sit here reading others
having so much fun

Why is my patient
so very late this Thursday?
It is troublesome.

I look at the clock
hoping that it provides me
with a quick escape.

Antibiotics
Clears infection from my tooth
What else has it killed?

I also wonder
If the caddie of Tiger
would dry his wet shaft

And clubhead also.
A clean head and stiff shaft is
key for ball striking.

I have never been
a ball striker, but always
end up in the hole

I had no idea
That a boring game like golf
Could be so nasty!

What does it mean if
My choice of staff's not stiff, but
black and flexible?

Some guys like the stiff
shafts. Some, flexible graphite.
Maybe you fear stiff?

Boys, boys. Nothing but
talk of balls and shafts. Get your
hands out of your pants.

Always like to give
mojo to Cadaverous
Pallor. I'm told NO!

:(

boys talk of phalli
girls of makeup and hygiene
welcome to LoT High

All of this geeking out
Leads me to a single thought:
When's the next big meet?

July is the month
of the next ginormous meet......
or June in Japan.

pitted dates taste great
grown in California
ripe for the snacking

Just LoT has
haiku double entendres
of golf and male parts

Disney is holding
yet another sales event
Happy 50 years!

No such talk from me.
I spoke of folds and fine scents.
I am not the perv.

True mojo is felt.
Posts like these are just as good
as bongo clicks, man.

At L-O-T High
Perhaps you are not a jock.
I dig geeky boys.

You must spread some 'jo
'round before giving it to
Erica again.

I know the feeling.
Haikus are fun to write. Oh!
Feck it I don't know.

It's getting late here.
Some people call it early.
I'll head to bed soon.

Japan sounds like much fun.
I could visit family.
Down south in Kyushu.

Hot bubbling water
Steam rising, wafting above.
Hot springs, here I come!

Not phalli talk -- just
golf. Must have equipment to
get in special hole.

Shafts...balls...head...back-nine,
all part of game. I concede
game does sound kinky.

Golf lame until you
try once. Then more addictive
than crack. Believe it.

Tacos and boobies,
oh my. I enjoy many
sporty endeavors.

Might be fun one day
To have 18 holes at once
wife would be upset

The damn link works now.
Can't link to specific one.
It will change next day.

On ESPN
Sports anchorman Kenny Mayne
Used to use haiku

Love the boys' Haikus
Giggle like a teen that stole
a dirty joke book

That's the purpose, right?
The girl groans, punches your arm
Really, she's impressed.

What if you just played
the back nine? Do you think she'd
Be okay with that?



A coincidence.
Cosmic forces? Proof of God?
Just coincidence?

What day to click sir
I am unable to find
A haiku comic

A rainy Friday
I stare at my monitor
will the time to pass

It should be today's
The whole thing is not Haiku.
Just the last panel.

I like girls groaning
It goes right along with the
stolen dirty jokes

By "today's" I mean
two weeks ago today. The
site lives in the past.

I like acting 12
what is it to you, CP?
juvenile is fun

Corndogs are so great
Corndogs are so delicious
Corndogs in my tummy!

Ketchup and mustard
Such a delightful combo
MMMmmm they were golden.

Now I'm wondering
what I should haiku. I am
afraid I'm tapped out.

Gobs of chinese food
I ordered enough for four
I am only one

Did I disapprove?
Said I LOVE your lines, right?
What more can I say?

Being juvenile
Something I can't live without.
Childish, forever.

As for dirty thoughts?
In my head constantly, heh.
You should know that, babe!

over reaction
on my part, dearest CP
my apologies

Charles and Camilla
Why should I give a rat's ass?
Go to hell, royals.

If anyone knows
how to be juvenile, it's
Cadaverous Pallor.

Hmm, I can't even
think of anything funny
to put in haiku.

Oh my, Tiger Woods
I am sorry for laughing
When your putt got wet

But Chris DiMarco
deserves much high praise from all
lovers of the game

What shall I compose
The Masters is all over
no more balls and shafts

Tiger Woods is hot
Golfers generally are not
But Tiger - he's hot:D

Tiger's WIFE is hot
Ooh baby, baby, baby
Blonde swedish model

His wife is a twin
Twin Swedish hotness no less
Lucky Tiger Woods

Quesadilla swank
Hot, gooey, melted cheddar
So good it hurts...Ow!


Bono (Paul Hewson)
He moves me and inspires me
Human rights are for all

Sleep has come to me
Yet I still read all night long
Damn Literature

I count beats for laughs
Boards took the poetry out
Haiku is ruined. :p

Ally, however
writes beautifully meaningful
stuff that I envy.

Even now I can't.
Silly things jump to mind, like
lunch plans and porno.

Tetherball, handball
Never gets old seeing kids
Play and run at lunch.

There! That wasn't bad.
But only because that's what
I'll see at lunch time. :p

serious haiku?
my goodness, whatever for?
I'll take balls and shafts.

Scaeagles seems to be
requesting some shafts and balls
but exactly whose?

I predict a line
shall form at Scaeagles front door-
what will the wife think?

Will it be Mickey
that Scaegles decides upon?
Poor Sactown Chronic!

I only have eyes
for whomever brings the best
small appliances

Like a new blender
I've been needing one a while
Damn cheap MBC!

Toaster or blender?
Maybe a milkshake maker?
Waffle iron perhaps?

Heh heh...I forgot
about damn cheap MBC
will he forgive me?

I would gladly give
you mojo for your great post
but I cannot yet....:(

My life in nine lines.....
 

Softball oh softball
Lots of laundry, many games
Seven days a week


The taxman cometh
Denial my futile game
April 15 sucks


Substitute teacher
Hated by middle schoolers
But it pays the bills

Poetry of golf
Pages and pages, in fact
Men of single mind

Or was it really
Something dirtier? It lacked
An explanation

Here with itchy ear
I sit, though no longer pained
Not back in office

Now is the winter
Of my discontent, Will says
Here, here! I exclaim

"Do or do not. There
Is no try." -Master Yoda
I did not. New job?

Wait with bated breath
For cell phone to play Mozart
Will Wells Fargo call?

Qualifications
I have many, but wonder
If they're the right ones

My eggs are in one
Okay two, but same bunny
Thirty five grand nice

Eyes are drying out.
What's my bedtime, anyway?
Maybe, should be 10.

Pack for the trip: Done
One Whole Week at Sea, Too Fun
Sail Away, Today

As I said in that
other thread I really am
a bit jealous now M!

Today, I will be
cleaning up this house of mine
and some gardening.

From Haiku U - a collection of great books told in 17 syllables comes:

Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre:

O woe! His mad wife—
in the attic! Had they but
lived together first.

There is also Haiku for Jews, Redneck Haiku and Cat Haiku books.



You are my best friend,
Person allergic to cats.
Let me shed on you.

If the vet took your
Temperature that way, I
Bet you'd complain, too

Heehee, Haiku for Jews, that's hilarious!

:D

O where, O where has
all the nasty haiku gone?
Sactown, we need you

Ginormous shafts, balls
Corndogs and appliances
Scaeagles needs his fix.

:D

Black bean sauce on jeans.
Wipe hands to keep keyboard clean.
L-O-T and lunch.

Reading screenplays makes
writing them seem easier.
At least I can try.

Coincidence!
Read first comic book in years
"Sin City", same day.

I am not looking
for anything but a chance
to skip class today.

I would much rather
go to a coffeeship or
to a fun movie.

But I suppose that
I must be good and attend.
I should log off now.

But really, must I?
Oh, this really makes me sad.
I'll get over it.

Librarians have
tighter buns it says
in red above me.

Teeheehee!

This Info*Bitch says:
Even Boolean searches
Won't find "coffeeship".

Reading that over
a coffeeship sounds like it would
even more fun! Yeah!

Counting syllables
is not a good reason to
leave out the word "be".

Maybe she pondered
Whether it was better to
be or not to be?

Oh dear! I'm in class...
Give a poor student a break.
Feel sorry for me.

I did not mean to
make so many darn mistakes
Please forgive me friends!

Just screwin' with you.
You could have just claimed you had
poetic license.

I just don't know why
But I can't get into this
Haiku thing right now

starving herself thin
divine when bones beneath skin
can you bleed like me

Poetic license
is the north pole to my south.
Or at least right now.

How do you write things
after poetic licence
has been suspended?

Neighborhood troll man
Trimming dead daisy plants in
magenta sweat pants.

His crazy dog roams
the street in search of relief
In neighboring yards.

scissors to her skin
when she does relief sinks in
hide scars beneath clothes

A short term reprieve.
My dentist rescheduled me.
Two more weeks to go.

Playing paintball hard
Made me feel seventeen (The pain slowed after the second game)
sore legs screem thirty

I Gained much respect
For the old tadgerrs of yore (we made fun of them for not going all out)
all gear to much fear

they threw gobs of paint
the cost wasen't a killer (paints cheep thier knees aren't)
beats jumping bunkers

I woke this day rise
pain enveloped dismay
smells of tigerbalm (not Bengay)

Convelessing now
limping round like grandpa jones (but good god not next weekend)
want to go again

Resurrection Day
For the long lost haiku thread
thank you Tramspotter

the format is lame
paucity of syllables
does not denote wit

also note that
lack of nature and code words
makes it a senryu

古池や蛙飛込む水の音　

Who cares if it's lame
we will continue to play
so long as it's fun

this is fine, of course,
pleasure is reason enough
just sharing my view

No problem Alex-
so it's faux haiku at best
sans codes and nature.

Still, we must persist
especially since we know
how it annoys you.

;)

Poems with a purpose
Try to annoy Alex Stroup
Wendy annoys me

Mu

Annoying posters
Just love pushing those buttons
A true family!

So sadly for you
haiku does not annoy me
Unimpressed by form

My buttons unpressed
press ahead all you players
knowing mood is calm

Damn! The joy has gone
from creating faux-haiku
Alex strikes again.

I must discover
some new form of mangled prose
to torment him with.

It makes one wonder
Does John Tesch write lyrics as well?
Time to Google search.....

I enjoy haiku.
but rain on poets' parade
if you must. :ignore:

my apologies
for a misanthrope response
I bid you adieu

sorry who's Alex
been checked out awhile afraid
snowcovered pighurl <~~~~~~~~~~~~ see below


{below}
wind blows soft fragrence
troglodite adds nature nod
AND he likes sushi

Ever changing mood
Sometimes happy most times sad
Gemini Cricket

Two cups of coffee
Intolerant of No-Brow
Get a life, Lisa

Playing with a mouse
Behind the wall of kitties
She is Not Afraid

I can't wait to ski
Cross-country at Maplelag
Thank God - no Klister!

I love Ti Kwan Yin.
Complex and so sumptuous.
Oolong for my soul.

theres no mouse here jack
Cats seem like they know the score
Smart dogs are more fun

I found nostalgia
at old haunting grounds. Time to
resurrect this thread.

Back from the dead, babe.
Posts live forever, as long
as the bills are paid.

Immortality.
Accessible anywhere
My history here

Decades hence, whole lives
tracked across html
each step cemented

"Lordy, it's still there!
Check my first blog! I was 10.
50 years ago."

A beer with my friend
who, like two right here, gave his
two weeks notice! YAY!


I think it'll be
a Guiness for me! Dark
smooth, warmth inside me!

A mere forty days...
I begin to plot and plan
my SoCal sojourn.

Five days and five nights
will that be enough?
No, but it beats none at all.

:D

Just done watching Lost
But here what was lost was found
long live the haiku

I can't watch Lost now
missed too many episodes
wait for dvd