Now, this is a bad sentence (from a bad novel)
 

Okay, so I am reading the third in a series of terrible novels known as the MEG series. (Giant megalodon sharks terrorize people. The publicity blurb sums it up nicely: Jurassic Shark)


Anyhow, author Steve Alten is not exactly Melville. (He's not even Peter Benchley, which is really saying something.) He cranks out wildly improbable storylines with great enthusiasm. I don't think he does much proofreading. I submit the following sentence, which I swear I am not making up. I think I can safely say that this is the worst sentence I have ever encountered in a novel published by a major house. (Actually, it's a sentence fragment! I include the sentence immediately preceding it for context.) Here goes:

"A woman in a scarlet skintight bodysuit approaches. Shoulder length brown hair, late twenties, dripping with attitude and nipples."

Now, THAT'S quality writing!

Do the sharks eat corndogs?

And sorry - that line was just too classic not to steal.

Lol! Drippy nipples....ewwwww.

Great. Now I have Dali-esque visions of dripping nipples.

Drippy nipples
In the wine
Make me happy
Make me feel fine

Drippy nipples
Make me warm all over
With a feeling that I'm gonna
Love you till the end of time

Alas, no corn dogs thus far. The shark has eaten some sea lions, a whale shark and an already dead sea turtle, and narrowly missed a couple of people, but I'm only on page 75. (One character has died of a heart attack after seeing the 75 foot shark. :rolleyes: )

Maybe she should see her hairdresser to get those nipples out of her hair.


Why are you reading these books again????????? (And "Sharks" is not a good enough answer.)

(Hangs his head in shame) It's the sharks.

D'oh!

At least he waited until it came out in paperback. Which is better than he did for The Trench. :rolleyes: