Lounge Lizard? Lounge Turtle!
 

It’s turtle season. I have no idea why there’s a turtle season; I’m under the impression that turtles can live for a very long time, so it’s not like they were just born and have to lay eggs so there will be turtles this time next year. Or maybe they hibernate?

There’s a once-alive turtle on the side of the road on a freeway exit out by Disney. It’s been there for over a week.

And on Saturday, I was waiting behind a couple other cars at a red light, and I saw a man walking in the road near the Animal Kingdom. There aren’t sidewalks (much less crosswalks) there, so that struck me as odd, until I realized he was headed for a turtle in the road. The man picked the turtle up—surprisingly, pulling all appendages inside the shell wasn’t this turtle’s gut reaction. Legs, tail, and head were flailing wildly until the man reached the other side of the road and set the turtle down. Turtle continues happily on his way (just why do turtles cross 4+ lane roads, anyways?).

I gave the man some applause and a thumbs up, so he knows, from something besides his own conscience, that he did a good thing. (It’s nice to do nice things, but it’s also nice to know that other people think you’re doing nice things.) Long live the turtles!

Later that same afternoon, not more than a mile or two from where this happened, I saw another turtle crossing the road. I have no idea if it was the same turtle or not. If so, this is one indecisive turtle, and apparently the other side of the road wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. There was another car stopped a bit ahead, and a woman walking in a turtley direction, so I didn’t stop. I hope it’s okay.

Now, I’m on turtle lookout. I’ve been assured that the only turtles kept at the Animal Kingdom are big enough to eat these turtles for dinner, so they couldn't have escaped from AK. That means turtle season. So I’m not only watching the cars around me, I’m looking for turtles, because I don’t want to kill any. That would be sad. And messy. And these turtles are about a foot long—that might even damage my car. And me.

So as I was driving home last night, I was keeping an eye out for turtles. And everything I saw on the side of the road looked—for a split second at least—like a turtle to me. There was a small bush, I saw a turtle. Sandbag, turtle. Pothole, turtle. Some discarded socks, turtle. Curled up scrap of tire rubber, turtle. Weeds growing in a crack in the pavement, turtle. Dark round lump in the gutter, turtle. Actually, I’m fairly certain that last one was a turtle. He should have been walking on the sidewalk, but there wasn’t any, and my mom taught me as a kid that when there wasn’t a sidewalk, you were to walk on the left side of the street, facing traffic. That turtle must have had a really smart mom.

Please be on the lookout for turtles (or other animals) trying to cross the road. A local radio personality says that God will love you if you stop to help a turtle across the road.

Turtles do hibernate, but I think they wake up long before June. I know sea turtles lay eggs at a certain time each year, but I don't know about land turtles. As for walking on he left side of the street, I think that turtle may have been breaking the law.

Feed them pizza, and show them lots of kung fu movies on late night tv...

So is this just a round about way of asking, "why did the turtle cross the road?"

I happened to be on the phone with Matterhorn Fan when the man was saving the turtle. I was THERE for the turtle drama, damnit, and I was rooting for the turtle. I hear her clap at the man who saved it and I clapped too - but I'm too far away for the saviour to have seen me. I am concerned about turtle safety now too, but, I didn't see any turtles on the 5 freeway deep in the heart of LA. Actually, I saw nothing living except the zombies who were driving the cars next to me. And, "living" might not be the correct word for them.

YAY TURTLES!

What did the snail say when he was riding on the turtle's back?



"Wheeee"

Well, that answers that question. hehe.

Of course. Upon further consideration, I have come to the conclusion that they are in search of pizza (and maybe radioactive ooze).

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Turtle Safety Update: A Laundry Safety issue prompted an unplanned drive last night, during which I saw yet another ex-turtle. The turtle population must be large around AK. Or maybe--just maybe--there are absolutely no turtles left in the AK area. It's hard to tell.

There are a whole bunch of them in the Boardwalk area, probably because of the water.

Hmm, I wonder just how many turtles have been named after Renaissance artists since the mid-eighties.

OK, so MF....you need to talk about the Frogs. Poor frogs!