I never know what to say...
 

It's been a while since I got hit by the Bible Brigade, or more specifically Jehovah's Witnesses, and I never know quite what to say. They're usually quite nice. This one was a little aggressive, launched right into the passages, opened a booklet and asked me which of these problems I'd like God to solve first - crime, hate, war... the list goes on. Bamboozled, I didn't know what to say.

I'm a nice person - and I wouldn't want to be rude. I know they're sharing with me something they believe in, something they believe would be good for everyone. Heck, they didn't even look at me funny when I opened the door in my PJs at 10:40. They handed me their book, and I just wanted to tell them that it was a waste of their time/energy/money/whatever giving it to me. Though, I doubt they would share my views... To them, giving me that booklet, even if I never open it, has at least some future benefit - perhaps I'll open it in a moment of boredom, or better yet, sorrow - a moment when I might just need God's help.

So yeah, I sympathize even when I disagree with their views. How does someone like me, without slamming the door in their face, tell them to buzz off? ;)

Hell, same even goes for really nice people running around my neighborhood with flyers - though I don't seem to have the same problem with them. I can always tell them I'm disinterested in their product and that's the end of the line... usually. But how do I tell someone I'm not interested in God? Even if I don't believe in their religion, or any, there has to be interest on some level - even if my interest is "Why do you believe in God?"

OK... I over-thought this.

How do you guys deal?

Answer the door naked. They won't come back. ;)

Actually, having just recently seen the short film about the Mormon-like boy who kept sleeping with the atheist he was trying to convert... I dunno if that naked thing will work the way you want it to!

The "I'm really sorry, there's somewhere I need to be" excuse is a good way to brush off without telling off, I've found.

I'm going to need a stack of Watchtowers and directions to E's house.

I usually just point at the Mezuah and say, "I'm perfectly happy with my faith, thanks."

Thankfully my dad is a JW and they all avoid coming to our houses. :)

My Dad used to keep a book of Mormon near the door and would hold it as it he had just been reading it when he answered. Apparently JW's don't like Mormons. Or at least that was his little theory.

HAIL SATAN!

Just don't answer the door. Unless you see girl scouts, of course.

Now, if you see a girl scout toting a copy of the watchtower, you're screwed. You'll just have to go to the table in front of the supermarket for your cookies then.

much to my benefit, Im always accompanied by a barking dog or two when they arrive...mostly because they dared enter the compound uninvited (or at least thats how the mutts act). they rarely stay more than a second or two, let alone try to talk over the noise.

so my advice? get a big dog. watching all the blood rush out of their face when Cujo and friends greet them is worth the Sunday morning interruption.