Your Zombie Plan?
 

Bringing a discussion going on elsewhere to the LoT for your swanky twist ...

When the zombie/velociraptor apocalypse comes, what will you do?

After gathering my kids, I'm grabbing all knives and Luna bars in my kitchen and heading to the basement. The basement is pretty easily defended - the only entrance is the stairs. The windows are too small for zombies or velociraptors. We have plenty of books, a computer, and an elliptical down there for passing the time between attacks.

What's your zombie plan?

Well, since according to some I live in zombie-land, I will continue as normal.

However, should it be vampires or other beasties of the night or slime from underneath rocks like mutated dungeness crab the size of Treasure Island, I shall grab Tango, a few bits of Valentino and my external hard drive will all my important data (like the book draft) and be on my way to a secret cove somewhere in Lincoln Park.

I for one welcome our new velocezombiraptor overlords.

My beagle! I forgot the beagle. And a beagle is probably the first thing a zombie would grab for it's precious, unicorn-pure blood.

Follow the dreams to Hemingford Home, Nebraska, then on to Colorado...

Moving into my 60s era bomb shelter.

1) If Night of the Living Dead is any indication, while the basement may be reasonably secure against zombies, one of your kids (or your beagle) will already have been infected and will kill you.

2) Are they fast zombies or slow zombies?

3) College-age hippie response: Only the zombies don't know that the raptors have already come.

I don't know what I'd do but books have told me where I should go and it depends on the nature of the apocalypse. If it is viral, the survival guide tells me I should head to either Boulder or Las Vegas depending on my mood and how much I like crows vs. old black women.

If it is impactual, then I should head to the hills above the southern end of the San Joaquin Valley because that is where the astronauts will land.

If it is raptural then the manual on that one suggests finding my way to the Cascade foothills east of Oregon's Willamette Valley.

Should the apocalypse come in the form of nuclear war, one source also recommends central Oregon (Corvallis) as a fair place to get to.

If alien invasion is the issue I'll head for the rural areas around London while waiting for the storm to pass.

If instead the world should be overrun by meat eating mobile plants at the same time that an unusual meteor shower renders most of the world population blind then the Isle of Wright is where you need to get to.

Should destruction come in the form of accidentally releasing a form of room temperature ice into the environment then being on the fictional Caribbean island of San Lorenzo can get you a few extra days of survival.

Since death is inevitable, I plan to have fun with it: Gather up as many feral kittens as I can and drop them down the air vent into Scaeagles bunker.

shh. They're already here.

Oh no. I've said to much.