When you fall on your face you're still moving forward.  

  I got hurt at work...  

  My only suggestion: bring a fishing pole and tartar sauce.  

  People who say they don't eat bacon most likely have a secret stash in a piano seat or something.

 

  Alex Stroup - "I think the cardinal rule of home ownership is "If the house hasn't fallen down it is good enough and we'll probably move before it does."

- I think that's also called the Pressler approach.  

  I am bringing some homosexual cupcakes just in case anyone wants to convert via ingestion....  

  ... and if that doesn't make you want to see it yourself then you're boring.  

  I don't know, perhaps I'm old fashioned, but if I'm going to masturbate, I'm not going to hop in the car and head to the grocery store to thump some melons. Guess I just prefer porn over produce.  

  I called in useless.  

  6 rides on Screamin'? You're going from Screamin' Virgin to Screamin' Whore!  

  Remember, Lashbear lives in our future!!!!!!!!  

  Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.  

  We have no idea what it was, but I for one welcome our new insect overlords.  

  I wonder when Nietzsche will start appearing in my add - offering to add inches with his Will to Power technique?  

  Ya can't make this stuff up!!!  

  I love Dave Matthews, chewy brownies, Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 and Judi Dench.

...And penis. Gargantuan American penis.  

  I just wanted to see her tits too.  

  Most people are just finding in it what they were already looking for.  

  The memory even tastes gross...  

  We've had a little conversation here, in the virtual world, that may come up in actual face-to-face conversation the next time we're at a LoT meet. In one thread we're talking about our high school experiences, in another, our political feelings, and in a third, what songs make us happy. And, of course, bacon.  

  It's not so much that we like our sh!t stirred on the LoT, we just like the *ka-BOOM* you get when you throw a cherry bomb into an outhouse.

The stank is bonus.  

  I am fairly certain that it is against the Geneva convention to confine someone to a hospital bed and not provide internet access.  

  ...a disquieting metamorphosis as my body becomes a baby machine.  

  If a guy plays QB at Notre Dame and can walk and chew gum at the same time, Superstar!  

  Nipples can wait. (It's the sequel to Heaven Can Wait.)