Closure would be good. Truth would be better.  

  (Tramspotter)'s not the straightest talker ... but for every unintelligible non-puncutated rant, there's a great dinosaur tampon joke.  

  Blazing Saddles isn't on that list, so that list sucks.  

  I don't think the fashion industry is to blame. We are all responsible for our own choices.  

  BOYS! Don't make me turn this internet around!  

  If amusement park rides regularly killed more people then I might be able to actually find them exciting.  

  Halloween cannot start until October 1st.
Thanksgiving cannot start until the beginning of November.
Christmas cannot happen until the day after Thanksgiving.

Period.

The foot is down.  

  I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.  

  Analyzing humor is like taking apart a rose to find out where its beauty button is.  

  I liked it better when the local kids thought of me as that crazy old guy who lives in the haunted house  

  Damnit Speilberg! You've made me agree with scaeagles! Oh, the evil you have wrought!!!  

  If you are only good because of religion that I suggest you aren't really a good person, just a scared one.  

  So, who knows what comes next - maybe a new world, maybe the same old crap, but this is a moment to relish and remember.  

  Mickey was apparently just very stinky and horny.  

  I think we owe it to ourselves and the people we share the world with to acknowledge that our assumptions and their prejudice may not be true, and that there are solutions out there beyond destroying, containing, or emasculating, the "other.  

  I only wish more of my tax money went social programs. I would rather feed the poor than the war machine.  

  Shhh! You'll set off Strangler Lewis!  

  Dear god! Those quoins!  

  And why do I keep getting all my Disneyland updates from a guy who lives in Hawaii?  

  Yes, even I have my limits - some people are just WEIRD!  

  Based on CPs diagnosis I was able to get a prescription for heroin this morning.  

  Perhaps you've just been migrated to the outer circles?  

  Jesus, even in your dreams you don't invite me to things.  

  Another first world problem: Not being able to experience actual life horrors sufficient to prevent using hyperbolic comparisons to society level murderers.  

  It was the bacon of days.