Did you know Darth Vader has eyebrows?  

  I must warn you that country music will rot your brain.  

  When it comes to hot dogs, I'm like MickeyLumbo at a pool party: It's all beef or nothing.  

  It's like fruitcake for the damned.  

  Is it Augtober already?  

  My ass still hurts.  

  It was a long time coming, although even at the last election I only thought of him as the lightest floater in the bowl.  

  wow - I learned so much from the "Soooo" thread....  

  What is Widow's Peak? I've already visited your hairline, GC.  

  (talking about Dr. Laura)

Good Lord. Who would want to listen to the homophobic rantings of a hate-inspired crusty old mummy who took mediocre nude pictures of her va-jay-jay that has haunted the internet since 1998? She's as appealing as a Coprophiliac's smile after sex.  

  Why would a lesbian bar have condoms?  

  (On chauffeuring the Amish in her car)

I blindfold them and make clippy clop noises to fake them out.  

  I must be pretty immature because I cannot see BS without giggling.  

  And the expansion I'm looking at is internal.  

  I hate the rich.  

  I can't imagine that allegations that a board game is Satanic require a debunking more thorough than "That's f*ckin' stupid.  

  Universe, listen to Capt. Jack, please. He's a wise man.  

  Nothing like a good piece of ass....  

  ....and for my next trick, watch me pull a rabbit out of my ass!

(offstage whispers)

huh?.....hat? are you sure?

(offstage whispers)


oh..ok. uh....please excuse me for a moment.  

  Watching an evangelical fall is better than eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups while getting a blow job.  

  I'm a supporter of the First Amendment, and I'm a supporter of the Second Amendment. In each case, you can bet that anyone doing anything that requires loud invocation of either Amendment is probably going to be acting like an asshole.  

  Yes, I saw the "protrusion" much lower on his body, but I know what that is.  

  What's the point of having coverage while on vacation if they don't do a goddamm thing.  

  So, this thread isn't about Snookie's vagina?  

  Just think: XX years + ~ 9 months ago, your parents had hot sweaty monkey sex just so you could be alive.