Is this the right trajectory?  

  No, that would be titled "More than meets the anus.  

  Rectum?!? It damn near killed him!  

  I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.  

  I thought this was gonna be about herpes.  

  Nevermind, I'm weaving my own lake...  

  If he takes that damn sign again, CALL SECURITY!  

  General Sherman is huge.  

  I grew up with four older sisters. It gave me a feminine perspective to everything.  

  Forces beyond my, or anyone's, understanding have aligned today, causing my boxer briefs to continually attempt to crawl as deeply and uncomfortably between my cheeks as is physically possible.  

  Uh, the Swans are vomiting cotton candy again.

Someone get a scooper....  

  Just another mental image that makes me wish that my brain had a delete button.  

  It's always a good thing when you can get into your wife's pants.  

  Apparently, I bought a car

Holy sh*t, what have I done?  

  Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. I have the munchies
~ sactown chronic  

  Bears prefer Alex's hot dogs  

  Eliza Hodgkins is a gay guy? Wodathunkit?
 

  I think that eating out gets old. Old and boring.  

  I think I still have grass in mt cooch.  

  Pirates 1 was great. I'd rather stare into Lindsy Lohan's steamy crab infested hoo-haa than watch Pirates 2 or 3 again.  

  Porcupine balls are gross.  

  I love woodies over steel anyday.  

  Makin' bacon right now! And going insane from the lovely scent!!  

  Hayao Miyazaki on the iPad: "It's disgusting. On trains, the number of those people doing that strange masturbation-like gesture is multiplying.  

  Oh yeah? Well in my day they nailed you into the seat, poured scalding coffee in your lap, and dropped you on your head from 200 feet without an ambulance. And we were grateful! LOL...