I always thought it would be great if people laid eggs. That way if you don't want the baby, you can just make a nice omelet.  

  No, that would be titled "More than meets the anus.  

  Holy crap!! That's Chad Everett!  

  Rectum?!? It damn near killed him!  

  I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.  

  I thought this was gonna be about herpes.  

  The line starts here to take CoasterMatt outside and beat him senseless.  

  Nevermind, I'm weaving my own lake...  

  There goes Baby Jesus!  

  If he takes that damn sign again, CALL SECURITY!  

  General Sherman is huge.  

  I grew up with four older sisters. It gave me a feminine perspective to everything.  

  Uh, the Swans are vomiting cotton candy again.

Someone get a scooper....  

  Just another mental image that makes me wish that my brain had a delete button.  

  It's always a good thing when you can get into your wife's pants.  

  Oh for God's Sake, Man ... put some pants on!  

  Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.
~ Winston Churchill  

  Bears prefer Alex's hot dogs  

  I think that eating out gets old. Old and boring.  

  I think I still have grass in mt cooch.  

  I love woodies over steel anyday.  

  Captain EO is pretty cool. Everything is in 3D except Michael Jackson's nose.  

  Makin' bacon right now! And going insane from the lovely scent!!  

  Hayao Miyazaki on the iPad: "It's disgusting. On trains, the number of those people doing that strange masturbation-like gesture is multiplying.  

  Oh yeah? Well in my day they nailed you into the seat, poured scalding coffee in your lap, and dropped you on your head from 200 feet without an ambulance. And we were grateful! LOL...