I always thought it would be great if people laid eggs. That way if you don't want the baby, you can just make a nice omelet.  

  No, that would be titled "More than meets the anus.  

  Holy crap!! That's Chad Everett!  

  Rectum?!? It damn near killed him!  

  I thought this was gonna be about herpes.  

  The line starts here to take CoasterMatt outside and beat him senseless.  

  Nevermind, I'm weaving my own lake...  

  There goes Baby Jesus!  

  If he takes that damn sign again, CALL SECURITY!  

  General Sherman is huge.  

  I grew up with four older sisters. It gave me a feminine perspective to everything.  

  Uh, the Swans are vomiting cotton candy again.

Someone get a scooper....  

  Baby cats being drowned make a more pleasant sound that The Hoff belting out off key notes amplified throughout Dodger Stadium.  

  Oh for God's Sake, Man ... put some pants on!  

  I had the pleasure of seeing a Night Heron fly by me on the ROA (while I was canoeing) with tiny waving duckling feet hanging out of it's mouth.  

  Bears prefer Alex's hot dogs  

  Oh, and it was Jane not Rosalind who did Playtex commercials.  

  I'm not quotable or on the list of kewl people. Woe is me!  

  Pirates 1 was great. I'd rather stare into Lindsy Lohan's steamy crab infested hoo-haa than watch Pirates 2 or 3 again.  

  Porcupine balls are gross.  

  I love woodies over steel anyday.  

  I think I just LARPed in my pants.  

  Makin' bacon right now! And going insane from the lovely scent!!  

  Hayao Miyazaki on the iPad: "It's disgusting. On trains, the number of those people doing that strange masturbation-like gesture is multiplying.  

  Oh yeah? Well in my day they nailed you into the seat, poured scalding coffee in your lap, and dropped you on your head from 200 feet without an ambulance. And we were grateful! LOL...