Hippy Pappy Happy Smaffy Laffy Daffy Dingle or however it goes.  

  Running is not swanky.  

  You don't bring an undercooked turkey to the table at Thanksgiving. If it is inedible, you finish cooking it or don't serve it at all.


After riding that ride, I would have rather not seen it at all...  

  General Sherman is huge.  

  It's so quiet in there, even a held back fart could be heard.  

  If camping is the plan, you must let me know where to come pick up your mountain lion chomped corpses...

 

  People who say they don't eat bacon most likely have a secret stash in a piano seat or something.

 

  People who say they don't eat bacon most likely have a secret stash in a piano seat or something.

 

  I repeat, exploding panties.  

  New member access to the LoT is only permitted if said member makes every member before her lemon cake with chocolate frosting. Insert cake here... :GC points to mouth:  

  How could he not know what kind of damage he was doing? ...but maybe the noise, the jerking of the rig etc?  

  6 rides on Screamin'? You're going from Screamin' Virgin to Screamin' Whore!  

  I love Dave Matthews, chewy brownies, Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 and Judi Dench.

...And penis. Gargantuan American penis.  

  I love Dave Matthews, chewy brownies, Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 and Judi Dench.

And penis. Gargantuan American penis.  

  I decided not to run for political office when I found out that a caucus has nothing to do with male genitalia.  

  Analyzing humor is like taking apart a rose to find out where its beauty button is.  

  I won a major award!
I win!
 

  Here's the deal:
The people that are pro-legalized marijuana are too stoned to organize themselves. The people that are anti-legalized marijuana probably should smoke lots of it and chill out.
 

  Sometimes I just wish someone would say, "Gee, maybe picking lint off of my koolats is annoying to the ten cars who are waiting for the gas pump I just finished using. Maybe I should just get into my car and drive the f*ck off.  

  I embrace my nincompoopery.  

  It's this new idea at Disneyland. It's called Peecycle.
The logo for the program is Jiminy Cricket taking a whiz in Cleo's fishbowl as she swims merrily.  

  I embrace my nincompoopery.  

  Yeah, you know, I think I've finally fallen in love with a chick. Her name is Tina Fey. I want to have her babies or how ever that works.  

  I think if the Dave Matthews Band played the Golden Horseshoe, I think I'd just explode in a cloud of fag dust.  

  "I'm the green fairy!"