Every time a law is passed the liberty bell rings a little duller...  

  I thought only Hugh could prevent florist friars?  

  I miss Nabisco Bacon Thins...  

  Did I just admit that I was a Debbie Gibson fan?  

  I reserve the right to make us see something with naked women in it - and I don't mean Judi Dench.  

  I for one would like to see Alex and iSM have a Curmudgeon-off.  

  Eliza Hodgkins is a gay guy? Wodathunkit?  

  Rubbing a magic beaver always makes me feel better.  

  All this pounding. I'm either getting horny or a headache.  

  I say get her rashy ass back to jail.  

  Theres a reason its called 'cold turkey'.....cuz the turkey is DEAD!  

  A great idea - a fart tax! No one likes farts, so why not tax each one to try to limit them?  

  I'm not so sure I want to live in a country where a man can't run around with his exposed balls bouncing off his thighs.  

  Hannah and Her Sisters, N.A.'s fave Woody.  

  Are you in the barn with the village elder?  

  To drive is human; to flatten SUVs, bovine.  

  If you can breathe, dear, it isn't tight enough.  

  Midway Madaness Mania Mayhem Ladysmith Black Mambazo  

  Swine, pig whore, slut, trollop  

  Indiana Jones and the Last Frigidaire  

  Sh!t" is the tofu of cursing.  

  I had a dyke in a gay bar drop her pants in front of me last night.
She wore boxers underneath. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or relieved.  

  I prefer not having hair stuck in my teeth.  

  I'd MUCH rather talk about dogs and cats than the fact that it's raining cats and dogs.  

  Make your boner your pride