You aren't losing hair - you're just getting more head.  

  I miss Nabisco Bacon Thins...  

  Who's runnin this f'd up planet anyway?  

  Spontaneous Human Combustion! - How Cool! But I always thought it a trick you can only do once...  

  Someone needs to kick her in the balls.  

  Peeing on a church roof in Disneyland.

It just blows my mind.  

  Onward, lesbian soldiers, munching as to war.  

  It's like drinking redneck afterbirth.  

  I'm planing a drive-by.

Homies on the next block aren't respectin' - know what'm sayin????  

  I thought the hobo in Polar Express was hot!  

  !!  

  Don't confuse me with the facts!  

  She seriously has reached that "punch her in the face and she'll turn to mummy dust" age.  

  Well, I passed "lather" but I failed "rinse," and then I failed "repeat" too because it includes rinse, which I don't think is very fair.  

  You assholes want bagels, buy your own damned bagels!  

  I moistened my fence wood just the other day.  

  That sounds like something someone in a windowless minivan would say....  

  But, it's a dry hate.  

  CONGRATULSTIONS!  

  I'd MUCH rather talk about dogs and cats than the fact that it's raining cats and dogs.  

  Sweet zombie jesus  

  One step back sometimes leads to a great leap forward.  

  Hey, if you had 8 parasites trying to suck nutrients from you 24 hours day, you'd hide too.  

  Nobody puts baby carrots in the corner  

  So, if Theo inherited certain, um 'assets' from his father, the Bris today should be classified as major surgery