You aren't losing hair - you're just getting more head.  

  I miss Nabisco Bacon Thins...  

  I reserve the right to make us see something with naked women in it - and I don't mean Judi Dench.  

  Spontaneous Human Combustion! - How Cool! But I always thought it a trick you can only do once...  

  Peeing on a church roof in Disneyland.

It just blows my mind.  

  All this pounding. I'm either getting horny or a headache.  

  I say get her rashy ass back to jail.  

  v
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Awwwwww, kitten's first message!  

  I'm planing a drive-by.

Homies on the next block aren't respectin' - know what'm sayin????  

  Are you in the barn with the village elder?  

  !!  

  She seriously has reached that "punch her in the face and she'll turn to mummy dust" age.  

  If you can breathe, dear, it isn't tight enough.  

  Well, I passed "lather" but I failed "rinse," and then I failed "repeat" too because it includes rinse, which I don't think is very fair.  

  Swine, pig whore, slut, trollop  

  There's nothing more anally retentive than a constipated Jew.  

  Power to the puppies.  

  I moistened my fence wood just the other day.  

  Sh!t" is the tofu of cursing.  

  That sounds like something someone in a windowless minivan would say....  

  Only my reptilian brain has found Paris sexy. And even though I know her "energy policy" was scripted, she actually sounded intelligent and... human. For a minute there at least. And now, I... I think I'm in love.
She's got my vote, 'cuz that ad was hot.  

  When masturbation is available I just can't see any piece of ass being so overwhelmingly alluring as to muddy the cost-benefit risk assessment.  

  The jury's out on whether I am also now Korean.  

  Nourish the Avians  

  Did you just call NA a Lady of the evening??