Dude, I'm immortal!  

  Is a gay man who knits called a "Knitting Nancy"?  

  I'm afraid.  

  Lighting my ass. Do you have any idea how much styling gel that takes?!  

  Wait a miniute... y'all think NA looks like a tampon?!?  

  Scrool down to recent shows and you can listen to their liver performance and interview on KCRW yesterday.  

  Poo on them. All of them.  

  I'm married, I've procreated. My hair has done it's job. At this point it can stay or go, it makes me no never-mind.  

  I'm a bit picky about who I let dip me in chocolate  

  Yeah, but you'd have to move to Spokane. I care about you too much to do that to you.  

  Kevy, what's with the giant vagina in your avator?  

  I'm a spino-mushroomo-anythingbuttomato-meataterian.  

  You mean some taco is going to find out we're a bunch of boobie-crazed, hedonistic, long-winded but articulate hamheads that like to go to Pancakeland, bacon museums and swanky restaurants and know how to throw a good sphincter?  

  If I were a woman and had mental issues I'd sleep with you...  

  Satan just knocked on my door, asking to borrow a parka.  

  I love being a dork.  

  This song makes me want to bend girls over and smack them on their asses, in an ironic, modern man sort of way of course.  

  I'm not a bunny.  

  If you two keep ragging on each other, I'm gonna toss you a box of Stayfree.  

  I had a dyke in a gay bar drop her pants in front of me last night.
She wore boxers underneath. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or relieved.  

  She's a little pygmy dancing monkey. Dance monkey dance! Shake your booty! Shake it!  

  I prefer not having hair stuck in my teeth.  

  One person’s clown barf is the next person’s gorgeous.
Why, WHY O LORD, do I have to live through the Second Coming of Leggings?  

  I think I just LARPed in my pants.  

  But you're Catholic. That's practically Jewish.