The only way you could make scaeagles tight again is to stick in a ham and pull out the bone.  

  You aren't losing hair - you're just getting more head.  

  I miss Nabisco Bacon Thins...  

  I reserve the right to make us see something with naked women in it - and I don't mean Judi Dench.  

  Peeing on a church roof in Disneyland.

It just blows my mind.  

  All this pounding. I'm either getting horny or a headache.  

  v
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Awwwwww, kitten's first message!  

  I'm planing a drive-by.

Homies on the next block aren't respectin' - know what'm sayin????  

  Are you in the barn with the village elder?  

  If you can breathe, dear, it isn't tight enough.  

  Well, I passed "lather" but I failed "rinse," and then I failed "repeat" too because it includes rinse, which I don't think is very fair.  

  There's nothing more anally retentive than a constipated Jew.  

  Power to the puppies.  

  I moistened my fence wood just the other day.  

  Sh!t" is the tofu of cursing.  

  That sounds like something someone in a windowless minivan would say....  

  You made out on your first date? GD is a slut!  

  I had a dyke in a gay bar drop her pants in front of me last night.
She wore boxers underneath. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or relieved.  

  CONGRATULSTIONS!  

  I'd MUCH rather talk about dogs and cats than the fact that it's raining cats and dogs.  

  Sweet zombie jesus  

  So, if Theo inherited certain, um 'assets' from his father, the Bris today should be classified as major surgery  

  Make your boner your pride  

  And I do agree with GD on the Constitutional question.  

  That which is embarrassing among friends is not a 1 to 1 overlap with that which is embarrassing when you're mom wants to talk about it.