Every time a law is passed the liberty bell rings a little duller...  

  I thought only Hugh could prevent florist friars?  

  Did I just admit that I was a Debbie Gibson fan?  

  I reserve the right to make us see something with naked women in it - and I don't mean Judi Dench.  

  I for one would like to see Alex and iSM have a Curmudgeon-off.  

  That's it. I'm moving to Scotland to become a Highland Cow farmer.  

  What if the cow is just born ugly? Is the Clint Howard of veal fair game?  

  Unless it was essentially an MTV Award for Shrillest Performance by a Shrilly Person.  

  Eliza Hodgkins is a gay guy? Wodathunkit?  

  Rubbing a magic beaver always makes me feel better.  

  I say get her rashy ass back to jail.  

  Theres a reason its called 'cold turkey'.....cuz the turkey is DEAD!  

  I'm not so sure I want to live in a country where a man can't run around with his exposed balls bouncing off his thighs.  

  Hannah and Her Sisters, N.A.'s fave Woody.  

  Are you in the barn with the village elder?  

  To drive is human; to flatten SUVs, bovine.  

  If you can breathe, dear, it isn't tight enough.  

  Midway Madaness Mania Mayhem Ladysmith Black Mambazo  

  Swine, pig whore, slut, trollop  

  Indiana Jones and the Last Frigidaire  

  I had a dyke in a gay bar drop her pants in front of me last night.
She wore boxers underneath. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or relieved.  

  She's a little pygmy dancing monkey. Dance monkey dance! Shake your booty! Shake it!  

  I prefer not having hair stuck in my teeth.  

  But you're Catholic. That's practically Jewish.  

  That which is embarrassing among friends is not a 1 to 1 overlap with that which is embarrassing when you're mom wants to talk about it.