Who's runnin this f'd up planet anyway?  

  Spontaneous Human Combustion! - How Cool! But I always thought it a trick you can only do once...  

  Someone needs to kick her in the balls.  

  Peeing on a church roof in Disneyland.

It just blows my mind.  

  Onward, lesbian soldiers, munching as to war.  

  So I've been gangraped by Circuit City.... but perhaps they'll give me a reacharound in the end....  

  It's like drinking redneck afterbirth.  

  I'm planing a drive-by.

Homies on the next block aren't respectin' - know what'm sayin????  

  I'm a bit picky about who I let dip me in chocolate  

  I'm a spino-mushroomo-anythingbuttomato-meataterian.  

  I thought the hobo in Polar Express was hot!  

  If I were a woman and had mental issues I'd sleep with you...  

  !!  

  Don't confuse me with the facts!  

  She seriously has reached that "punch her in the face and she'll turn to mummy dust" age.  

  Well, I passed "lather" but I failed "rinse," and then I failed "repeat" too because it includes rinse, which I don't think is very fair.  

  You assholes want bagels, buy your own damned bagels!  

  I moistened my fence wood just the other day.  

  When masturbation is available I just can't see any piece of ass being so overwhelmingly alluring as to muddy the cost-benefit risk assessment.  

  Choir members gotta show up on Sunday if anyone's going to hear them sing.  

  it isn't too often I get to show it off in public.  

  Things are about to get cray here.  

  If sunscreen tasted delicious this is what it would taste like.  

  No more pets!  

  Errr, don't you just move the lever and bump into things? Is there more to it than that?