Who's runnin this f'd up planet anyway?  

  Someone needs to kick her in the balls.  

  Onward, lesbian soldiers, munching as to war.  

  I think flamingoes are totally cool.  

  So I've been gangraped by Circuit City.... but perhaps they'll give me a reacharound in the end....  

  It's like drinking redneck afterbirth.  

  Poo on them. All of them.  

  I'm a bit picky about who I let dip me in chocolate  

  I'm a spino-mushroomo-anythingbuttomato-meataterian.  

  I thought the hobo in Polar Express was hot!  

  If I were a woman and had mental issues I'd sleep with you...  

  Don't confuse me with the facts!  

  If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.  

  I'm a Feisty Fawn.  

  You assholes want bagels, buy your own damned bagels!  

  Fast Passes are for terrorists!  

  They don't need to be the butt of our jokes. I see no need to probe any deeper into this issue. Sure it's a bit asinine but I say we just put this one behind us, pack this fudge product into the commode of our collective conscience and flush it.  

  The only tool necessary to assemble it is Kevy.  

  Fvck the vinyl floor mat industry!!  

  One person’s clown barf is the next person’s gorgeous.
Why, WHY O LORD, do I have to live through the Second Coming of Leggings?  

  I think I just LARPed in my pants.  

  [To get out of fighting the Cola Wars I switched to Canadian Club.  

  You can absolutely skip Stitch the Great Escape. They basically strap you in and blow chili farts in your face. It's gross.  

  ...it also felt like something that might get old quick. But I'll ride it until it does.  

  A country that dwells too much on the suck in life finds itself killing people for really stupid reasons a couple centuries down the road.