Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the

black flag, and begin slitting throats.  

  In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;

as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.  

  oh christ, where's my bacon? I'm feeling lonely.  

  Anything is possible with Commander CooCoo Bananas in charge!  

  I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.  

  GD: Carp, it's 3 already?

NA: Goldfish, yes it is.  

  It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.  

  Mommy, I really want to see her naked.  

  Wow ... I haven't been this bleh about an upcoming attraction since The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

Congratulations, Disney!  

  That said, and maybe it's because I know all the participants ... but I find the format of listening to my friends speak to be incredibly boring.  

  Someone needs to kick her in the balls.  

  Christing Hell. I hate the Apocalypse already!!  

  All this pounding. I'm either getting horny or a headache.  

  How about Jungle Red Pepper Garlic Cheddar? Or Summer Rain Parmesan Sage?

And they'll help you keep your Adonis figure!  

  No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.  

  hiccup  

  Anyway .... as bad as things may suck for any of us .... we know they could suck way, way, WAY more.  

  The Power of Chrysler Compels You!!!  

  I'm gonna go to this. I've been curious for years.  

  ok, that beats my bird.  

  true, I've got my fingers in too many pies  

  true, I've got my fingers in too many pies to be Duff!  

  The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.  

  But then, I'm a rat...  

  We practice being perfect so that when he don't have the luxury of trying to be, we simply are.