I did get knocked semi-conscious today by a windblown umbrella  

  Well, what if my kid gets trampled?!  

  He bit my boob.  

  That's The Derby  

  GD: Carp, it's 3 already?

NA: Goldfish, yes it is.  

  I want to come back as a funnel cake. A spooky funnel cake.  

  That's it. I'm moving to Scotland to become a Highland Cow farmer.  

  What if the cow is just born ugly? Is the Clint Howard of veal fair game?  

  Unless it was essentially an MTV Award for Shrillest Performance by a Shrilly Person.  

  That was totally neat!!!! I do like the balls better though.  

  DP [Disneyphile]- that's great! You have a pair again.
 

  If goodness is determined by the lack of crap in the living room and no piles of shoes, my family and I will be burning in the pit of hell for all eternity.  

  You made out on your first date? GD is a slut!  

  The exact quote of Obama is,  

  I'm gonna wear my Halloween costume.
Every fag protest needs a cowboy.  

  it isn't too often I get to show it off in public.  

  Getting over this impulse is the next vital step in your question to flawlessly Alex someone.  

  While out of context is usually funny I wish there was a track back link to the original thread.  

  I'm going to apply some nuts to my face this year.  

  Relax, other than life sustaining medications, there is nothing terribly vital to be forgotten.  

  And I do agree with GD on the Constitutional question.  

  That which is embarrassing among friends is not a 1 to 1 overlap with that which is embarrassing when you're mom wants to talk about it.  

  Errr, don't you just move the lever and bump into things? Is there more to it than that?  

  Good observation by lashbear, regarding the tongue.  

  I just don't want to be sticky. I'm okay with wet.