I swear life is never dull around here  

  I liked it better when the local kids thought of me as that crazy old guy who lives in the haunted house  

  I agree with Moonliner.  

  This is your first warning from the Prudence DL Visit Alert System.

Prudence will be visiting the Disneyland Resort Area in approximately one month. If you do not already own or have access to a ferret, please make arrangements to purchase or borrow a ferret prior to April 12th so that you can arrange a priority weasel washing of five days in duration. This will ensure that you will be otherwise occupied during Prudence's visit and will not be tempted to visit the Disneyland Resort Area during this dangerous time.

Thank you in advance for your compliance with this directive. Your country and your theme park are depending on you.  

  C'mon people settle down. You've already gone and got the thread sticky.  

  visible mojo for the sake of visible mojo.  

  Why would a lesbian bar have condoms?  

  I mean, I love buying condoms. I just slap them down on the counter and give that proud grin which means, "Dude, I'm getting LAID!  

  He brought prostitution to it's knees, one hooker at a time.  

  Spitzer? I hardly know her.  

  As long as it comes OFF of the chair, you should be able to do either one.
Wether you use your LoT contacts or pay to have someone do it for you.  

  If I met Spielberg, I'd hug him then push a knife through his left testicle.  

  I'm not a lesbian, I only dress like one.  

  DP [Disneyphile]- that's great! You have a pair again.
 

  Ode to Roomba

There was a bunch of stuff on the ground
And you picked it up nicely the first time around
With a daily mess we'll have no more
We can do other stuff while you do the chore
Your only job is that of sucking
For now you give us more time for...

 

  [QUOTE=Moonliner]So what you are saying is that girth is an issue in selecting a proper fit?[/QUOTE]

I think it goes without saying that girth should be considered in all issues such as these.  

  (On chauffeuring the Amish in her car)

I blindfold them and make clippy clop noises to fake them out.  

  Yum, I loves me a green pepper Cadbury omelette.  

  Most people are just finding in it what they were already looking for.  

  And it looks like the rabbit in your sig is preventing cancer.  

  Brad - my eye sight is going - is the bunny punching its own tit or jacking off???  

  Surely you two can understand that when it comes to really important matters things just don't have any weight unless they're said by a man?

Now go bake me a cake.  

  I said cake. There are only two kinds of cake. Everything else is just a pretender to the title.  

  Midway Madaness Mania Mayhem Ladysmith Black Mambazo  

  Silly Cherny... Every thread on LoT is a bacon thread, eventually!